THE SON WHO NEEDED MONEY

A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the
semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents
gave him.  "Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?"
Then he gets an idea.  He calls his father.   "Dad," he says,
"you won't believe the wonders that modern  education are coming 
up with!  Why, they actually have a  program here that will teach 
Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says.  "How do I get him  
in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get  him
into the course."  

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.  About 2/3 way
through the semester, the money runs out.  The boy calls his 
father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.  

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you  just won't 
believe this - they've had such good results with this  program, 
that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals to READ!"  

"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding!  What do I have to do to  
get him in that program?"  

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."  
So his father sends the money.

At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem.  When he  gets
home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk  nor read.  So he
shoots the dog.  

When he gets home, his  father is all excited.  "Where's Fido?  I
just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to  him read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.  This morning  when I got out
of the shower, Fido was in the living room  kicking back in the recliner,
reading the morning paper, like he  usually does.  Then he turned to me and
asked, 
'So, is your  daddy still messin" around with that little redhead who lives
on Oak Street?' "  The father says,
"Oh, sh*t; I hope you SHOT that lyin' son - of a bitch!!!"
"Sure did Dad!"
"Thats my boy!!!!!!!!!!!!"