New Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus.............Sucks all the memory out of your computer.
Ronald Reagan virus...............Saves your data, but forgets where it is
                                  stored.
Mike Tyson virus..................Quits after one byte.
Oprah Winfrey virus...............Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to
                                  80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
Lorena Bobbit virus...............Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus......... Searches your hard drive for old files and 
                                  deletes them.
Ellen Degeneres virus.............Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC
Titanic virus.....................Makes your whole computer go down
Disney virus......................Everything in the computer goes Goofy
Prozac virus......................Screws up your RAM but your processor
                                  doesn't care
Sharon Stone virus................Makes a huge initial impact, then you 
                                  forget it's there.
Tim Allen virus...................Appears helpful, only to destroy your
                                  hard drive upon contact.
Woody Allen virus.................Bypasses the motherboard and turns on 
                                  a daughter card.
Saddam Hussein virus..............Won't let you into any of your programs.
Tonya Harding virus...............Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
George Michaels virus.............Runs its course, occasionally releasing 
                                  excess data buildup.
Joey Buttafuoco virus.............Only attacks minor files
X-files virus.....................All your Icons start shape shifting
Spice Girl virus..................Has no real function, but makes a pretty
                                  desktop.
AT&T virus........................Every 3 minutes it tells you what great 
                                  service you are getting.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.......Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.