This guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across
this salt-encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to
remove the salt. Lo and behold it was a very old oil lamp. The guy
started to buff it   to remove the verdigris when "poof" a genie
appeared.  This genie, like all genies, was so happy to be freed of
the lamp that he granted the guy three wishes.  "I wish to be a dollar
richer than Bill Gates, " says the guy.  The genie wasn't sure who
Bill Gates was until the guy told him to check Forbes magazine. When
the genie called up Forbes from inside the lamp he learned that Bill
Gates was indeed the richest man in the world.  "Guy," the genie said,
"You will forever be a dollar richer than Bill Gates. What's your
second wish?"  "Genie, I want the most expensive Porsche made: Fire
engine red, on board   GPS and the finest audio system ever installed
in an automobile."
"That's easy, Guy," says the genie. He waves his hand and the best car
anybody had ever seen pops out of the lamp. The genie then asks the
guy for his third wish.  The guy mulls the problem over and over. A
girl--nah, with billions and billions of dollars he certainly had
become a chick magnet. World peace, only wackos  want that. The guy
found a reason not to wish for anything that came to his mind.
"Genie," the guy said, "I can't think of anything now. May I save the
third wish for later?" "Gee, this is most unusual. But you hold the
hammer, I can't escape  from this lamp until you make a third wish.
Call me when you're ready,"  and woosh the genie disappears into the
lamp.  The guy carefully picks up the now-ever-so- valuable lamp and
places it in the trunk of the fire engine red Porsche. He turns the
radio on to balance the sounds and makes all the other adjustments
needed to get his great audio system customized to his ears.  After
that, he pulled off the beach and headed south along the Pacific Coast
Highway. Soon he was up to 60, then 70, then 80. The Porsche
handled perfectly. The guy was so happy that he began to sing along
with the radio.  "Oh, I wish I was an Oscar M...."