INTERESTING CLASSIFIEDS ADS:

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.

GERMAN SHEPHERD, 85 LBS. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT A WHILE... BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/OFFER

AMANA WASHER - $100 OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE -- ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION - $6800

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK - $200

FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YEAR WARRANTY LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.

FREE, 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR, 2 BATH HOME.

FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50

NORDICK TRACK - $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 CENTS LB.

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED, USED ONCE, SLIGHTLY STAINED.

AMERICAN FLAG, 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED - $100

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER AND DRYER - $300

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR "AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER."

FOR SALE BY OWNER - COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA. 45 VOLUMES, EXCELLENT CONDITION. $1,000 OR BEST OFFER. NO LONGER NEEDED. GOT MARRIED LAST WEEKEND. WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING.