"Sex In the Dark"

Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp -- only to discover a cucumber in his hand.

"Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 5 years!?!"

"Honey, let me explain!"

"Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a --"

"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, "maybe you'd care to explain our 3 kids!!!"