To smart women everywhere

1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb....
    and I also know that I'm not blonde.
    -Dolly Parton-

2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
    but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
    -Erica Jong-

3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me.
    One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours.
    I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
    -Rita Rudner-

4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.
    We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
    -Rita Rudner-

5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
    -Wendy Liebman-

6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
    -Erma Bombeck-

7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
    -Sue Grafton-

8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
    -Roseanne Barr-

9. I think-therefore I'm single.
    -Lizz Winstead-

10. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
      Men invade another country.
     -Elayne Boosler-

11. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
     -Maryon Pearson-

12. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
     -Gilda Radner-

13. In politics, if you want anything said ask a man;
      if you want anything done, ask a woman.
      -Margaret Thatcher-

14. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
     -Gloria Steinem-

15. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
     -Gloria Steinem-

16. I never married because there was no need.
     I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
     I have a dog that growls every morning,
     a parrot that swears all afternoon,
     and a cat that comes home late at night.
     -Marie Corelli-

17. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
     -Baroness Edith-Summerskill

18. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
     How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
     -Linda Ellerbee-

19. I am a marvelous housekeeper.
     Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
     -Zsa Zsa Gabor-

20. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
     -Eleanor Roosevelt-