A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.  He orders a drink and
While he's drinking it the monkey jumps all over the place.  The monkey
Grabs some olives off the bar and eats them.  Then, he grabs some sliced
Limes and eats them too.  As if that wasn't enough, he then jumps up
onto The pool table, grabs the cue ball and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"  says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.  "He eats everything
in sight, the little bastard. I'll  pay for everything he eats, cue ball
and all."

The patron finishes his drink, pays his bill and leaves.

Two weeks later, the same patron and his monkey are in the bar again.
He orders a drink and, sure enough, the monkey starts running around the
bar again.  The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.  He grabs
the cherry sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted and exclaims, "Did you see what your monkey
just did?"

"No, what?" responds the patron.

"Your monkey just stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it
out and ate it!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron, "Ever since he ate
that damned cue ball, he measures everything first."