Subj:Blondes Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little envelope. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you keep your blonde secretary occupied? Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them. -------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call it when a blonde drives down the street with her head out the window? Refueling. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call nine blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't blondes be pharmacists? They can't get the bottle in the typewriter. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the definition of eternity? Four blondes at a Four-way stop. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? "Oh look! Donut seeds!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? This Goes In front. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A stewardess encountered a blonde sitting in the first class Section with a business class ticket. She told her she would not be able to sit In that section and the blonde refused to move. She said, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm going to New York and you can't make me move." The stewardess went to the head steward who went to the lady and Again asked her to move because she was sitting in the first class Section and didn't belong there. Again the lady said, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm going to New York and you can't make me move." Finally, in exasperation they went to the pilot and explained the situation. He replied, "Oh, I can take care of that. My wife is a blonde." He went back and whispered to the lady and she immediately got up and walked back to the business section. The others were curious as to why she responded so fast to him and asked for an explanation.. The pilot said, "Oh, it wa simple.I just told her that the first class section wasn't going to New York." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blond said, "These look like deer tracks." And the other one said,"No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down." -------------------------------------------------------------------- A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up, you're next!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training. -------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? "Look! They spelled MACYS wrong. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do blondes like lightning? They think someone is taking their picture. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side. ---------------------------------------------------------------- How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.