Subj:    DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!

DID YOU KNOW.............
The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles,
such as:

13. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
              whispering when you are not.

12. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
              an asshole.

11. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
              boring story over and over again until your friends want 
              to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

10. WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like
              thish.

9.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
              ex-lovers are  really dying for you to telephone them 
              at 4 in the morning.

8.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
              hell happened to your pants.

7.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
              morning and see something really scary (whose species and 
              or name you can't remember).

6.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
              rug burns on the forehead.

5.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
              are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really 
              big guy named Chuck.

4.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
              invisible.

3.  WARNING:  consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
              laughing WITH you.

2.  WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the
             time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) 
             gaps of time may seem to literally disappear".

1.  WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.