There were 2 old-maid sisters ... both virgins.  It's Friday night and
Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin...
I'm going out and I'm not coming home until I've been laid!!"
Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about
you." 10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys...11 o'clock
...12 o'clock... Finally, about a quarter past 1, the front door flys open. 
In runs Gladys.... straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door,
"Are you okay, Gladys???"  No answer, so she opens the door and there sits
Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck
between her legs looking at herself. "What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" 
asks Betty.
"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in ... and 5 when it came
out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"