Gentler Ways to Say Someone is NOT too smart

* Warning: Objects in mirror are not as smart as they appear.
* Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
* He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
* An intellect rivaled only by that of garden tools.
* As smart as bait.
* Chimney's clogged.
* Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.