RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW


- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an  answer you
  don't want to hear.
- Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can
  find the perfect present, again!
- If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.
- Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
- Sometimes, he's not thinking about you.  Live with it
- Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
  such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
- Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every
  other cat.
- Dogs are better than ANY cats Period.
- Sunday = Sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
  Let it be.
- Shopping is not sport.
- Anything you wear is fine. Really.
- Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
- Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad
  probably is too.
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
- No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will.  Mark anniversaries on
  a calendar.
- Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank
  range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
- Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be
  any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look  good with your
  dress?
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
- A headache that lasts for  months is a problem.  See a doctor
- Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
- Don't fake it We'd rather be ineffective than deceived
- It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz
  together
- If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
  act like soap opera guys.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of two the ways
  makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one
- Let us ogle If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty
  you are?
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
- Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do  we
- Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain
  about having their boobs stared at
- Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you  We need it, just like you do
- Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes
  you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from
  reading the magazines
- The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
  were going out
- Anyone can buy condoms

AND FINALLY,  THE NUMBER ONE RULE:

- Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out