GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN LEARN

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back; they always catch the second 
   person.
4. You can't hide broccoli in a glass of milk.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot of stuff you're not 
   supposed to know.
7. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
8. Never try to hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time unless you know 
   where the BandAids are kept.
9. The best place to be when you're sad is on somebody's lap.