How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb??? Only one, men will screw anything. How many men does it take to change the roll of toilet paper???? We don't know, IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up??? Because they don't have any balls to scratch. What's a man's idea of foreplay??? A half an hour of begging. What's a man's idea of safe sex??? A padded headboard. How do you save a man from drowning??? Take your foot off of his head. How is a man and a snow storm alike??? You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long they will stay. How are men and exlax alike??? They both irritate the shit out of you after a while. How many men does it take to cook popcorn??? 3, one to cook the popcorn and 2 to show off and shake the stove. Why are all the dumb blonde jokes one liners??? So men can understand them. What did GOD say after he created man??? I can do better than this. Why is it good that there are female astronauts??? In case they do get lost in space at least a woman will ask for directions. Why do the jocks play on fake grass??? To keep them from grazing.