The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the
importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses 
will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) 
or a death in the immediate family. 
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion,
sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher
responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your
other hand." 


A Californian, a Coloradoan and a North Dakotan were discussing
love-making. "Last night I made love to my wife three times," boasted
the North Dakotan. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times", the Coloradoan
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told
me she could never love another man."

When the Californian  remained silent, the Coloradoan smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once." he replied.
"Only once?" the North Dakotan arrogantly snorted.
"And what did she say to you this morning?"
"Don't stop."