From Steven Crane's Red badge of courage
Across the smoke-infested fields came a brown swarm of
running men who were giving shrill yells. They came on, stooping and swinging
their rifles at all angles. A flag, tilted forward, sped near the front.
As he caught sight of them the youth was momentarily startled by a thought
that perhaps his gun was not loaded. He stood trying to rally his faltering
intellect so that he might recollect the moment when he had loaded, but
he could not. A hatless general pulled his dripping horse to a stand
near the colonel of the 304th. He shook his fist in the other's face. "You've
got to hold 'em back!" he shouted, savagely; "you've got to hold 'em back!"
In his agitation the colonel began to stammer. "A-all r-right, General,
all right, by Gawd! We-we 'll do our--we-we 'll d-d-do-do our best, General."
The general made a passionate gesture and galloped away. The colonel, perchance
to relieve his feelings, began to scold like a wet parrot. The youth, turning
swiftly to make sure that the rear was unmolested, saw the commander regarding
his men in a highly resentful manner, as if he regretted above everything
his association with them. The man at the youth's elbow was mumbling,
as if to himself: "Oh, we 're in for it now! oh, we 're in for it now!"
The captain of the company had been pacing excitedly to and fro in the
rear. He coaxed in schoolmistress fashion, as to a congregation of boys
with primers. His talk was an endless repetition. "Reserve your fire, boys--don't
shoot till I tell you--save your fire--wait till they get close up--don't
be damned fools--" Perspiration streamed down the youth's face, which was
soiled like that of a weeping urchin. He frequently, with a nervous movement,
wiped his eyes with his coat sleeve. His mouth was still a little ways
ope. He got the one glance at the foe-swarming field in front of
him, and instantly ceased to debate the question of his piece being loaded.
Before he was ready to begin--before he had announced to himself that he
was about to fight--he threw the obedient well-balanced rifle into position
and fired a first wild shot. Directly he was working at his weapon like
an automatic affair.
Comments
This is a good piece of writing because the mood
of this paragraph is very clear. It makes me want to keep reading,
this paragraph is building the action up. The scene in this paragraph
is getting pretty intense and it keeps the paragraph interesting.
You can appreciate this piece of writing because
you can see how the man character "the youth" is reacting in a situation
such as this one. You could put yourself in the same situation and
you would probably find that you would react similar to the way he did.
The emotions that are expressed in this paragraph are pretty realistic
and clear.