FEB. 14, 2001

 

WASHINGTON D.C. - Minnesota Gov. and XFL announcer Jesse "The Body" Ventura has officially become the new manager of the Courthouse Junkies, owner Mark Scott announced Wednesday.

 

Ventura replaces Richard Belding, who led the CJ's to a last place finish in 2000.

 

"I don't like things that stink," said Ventura, who was accompanied by his "bitch-ho" XFL cheerleaders at Wednesday's press conference. "So, if the CJ's stink this year, like last year, I guess I won't like it."

 

Ventura met with Scott later Wednesday to decide which 10 players will remain on the squad. A source close to that meeting said Ventura became angry when Scott remained firm in wanting Kenny Rogers to return to the team. An official decision will be announced this weekend.

 

Belding, who blamed the unsuccessful season on Screach, the team motivator; League Commissioner D. Daniel Shoptaw, citing what he called "strange statistical tabulations;" and Andy Stroud, for being "too darn good," commented: "At least they will have the first pick in the draft." Ventura nor Scott would comment on who they would pick first, although LA Dodger prospect Will McCrotty was rumored as a top candidate.

 

Ventura is the only manager in the Friends League who is not homosexual.  Jerry Mathers and O. Kenobi were vacationing together in San Francisco and were unavailable for comment.