Canine Stew (Raymond Crooke)

 

My friend and I had something

That we wished to celebrate.

The dogs that we’d been fattening up

Finally met their fate.

We made a delicious canine stew

And served it on a plate

And enjoyed each other’s company

As we sat and drank and ate.

 

Now I’m in the jailhouse doing time.

Since when did eating meat become a crime?

 

Where I come from there’s lots of dogs That people raise to sell.

You can buy them in a pet shop

Or a butcher’s shop as well.

A tasty meal or man’s best friend,

It’s very hard to tell.

You eat your Christmas turkey,

While I suffer in my cell.

 

You see their carcasses hanging up

In shops along the street.

My elders always taught me

This is such a healthy meat,

Especially in the winter time.

It gives our body heat.

So why should you deny me

What I really need to eat?

 

You’ve got laws that don’t allow me

To light up a cigarette.

Now you say I can’t eat anything

That others call a pet.

I keep pet fish, but fish-eaters

Will not be jailed, I bet,

And I don’t believe that dogs

Are an endangered species yet!

 

I’m not consuming bear bile,

Or munching on their paws.

You told me “Don’t eat shark fin.”

I converted to the cause.

I can’t afford it anyway.

And I can’t afford your laws.

Please keep out of my diet –

And I’ll keep out of yours.