*You wear sunglasses in the produce department at night
*You won't get in a fight because it might smudge your make up
*You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face
*People can't tell whether you're searching for a missing contact or dancing
*The only day you feel normal is Halloween
*You don't know whether the person you're sleeping with is male or female until you're actually in bed with them
*You don't care
*The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"
*You were rooting for the vampires in "From Dusk Til Dawn", Lost Boys", etc.
*The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
*You watch Sesame Street as an adult just to see The Count
*You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
*You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"
*You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
*You think anything dead is pretty
*You refer to your age in mortal years
*You give yourself the honorary title of Lord or Lady
*You know what a Malkavian is
*You know what a Malkavian is because you've been there, done that
*You have the t-shirt
*You dressed as The Crow for Halloween one year
*You have dressed as The Crow for Halloween the past few years
*The club you frequent has concocted an original drink called "The Vampire's Kiss"
*You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
*You think blood is "pretty"
*Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years
*You've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
*You own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.'s
*You own even 1 Projekt c.d.
*Friday the Thirteenth is your lucky day
*You can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier
*You decide Wednesday blows them both away
*You could easily blow $500 in a Halloween store
*You could spend all $500 on just make up
*You were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait of two farmers
*You claim the Chupacabra is a friend/relative of yours
*You own a hearse
*You own a hearse and don't work in a funeral parlor
*You keep a coffin in the back as "decoration"
*You keep a coffin in the back as a bed
*You think of the hearse as the "family car"
*You think heresy is a religion
*You claim heresy as YOUR religion
*You own a rosary that you wear
*You own many rosaries that you wear
*You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearview mirror in your car
*You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000 years
*You wish to name your first born Lestat
*You plan to name your first born after ANY Anne Rice character
*You didn't know they were characters
*Your purse is large, square and metal
*The purse has scratches from being used in a fight
*It has scratches from being kicked on the dance floor
*This is the reason it was scratched in a fight
*You think bats are "cute"
*You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires
*You can debate both sides of that argument
*You've participated in one of those "Do you think Tom Cruise was good as Lestat?" conversations
*You've started one of those conversations
*You saw Valor on the street, you would throw your large, metal purse at him
*You and your friends enjoy congregating in a local graveyard
*No one you know is buried there
*You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards
*You take pictures of the gravestones while reciting Oscar Wylde or singing "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths
*You know the words to "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths
*You know who The Smiths are
*Your favorite poem is "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe
*Your favorite poem is "Metamorphosis of a Vampire" by Charles Baudelaire
*You spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre
*Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to
*Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does
*You refer to others as "The Normals"
*You refer to our leather-clad brethren as "Those Industrialites" or "Industrial-heads"
*You go to South Beach, but have never seen the ocean
*You can reminisce through all 4 locations of The Kitchen Club and 2 of The Church
*You put on The Wake and practice dancing in front of the mirror
*You practice with your own personal strobe AND blacklight
*You are too poor to afford either and stole the lights off the Christmas tree
*You can't even tell whether you're looking for a missing contact or dancing
*You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
*When someone else "discovers" you're favorite band, you find another favorite band
*Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
*Jehovah's Witnesses accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
*You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
*You've been with your significant other for over a year and still wonder what they look like without make up
*You and your boyfriend fight over make up
*You decide to get matching his/hers make up caddies to separate your make up
*You smudge your lipstick on purpose to look like Robert Smith
*You eat those limited edition pop-tarts just because they have bats on them
*You save them because Hey!...they're limited edition
*You call them goth-tarts
*You know what Renfield's Disease is
*You have Renfield's Disease
*You have taken anything on this list personally
*You were offended
More:
-Your family hates your music
-Morticia Addams is your family nickname
-You wear every shade of black
-Halloween is the one day you look normal
-Whenever you sit down at church, everyone scoots down in the pew
-Whenever you look at someones child, their mother pulls them away
-You own Nightmare before Christmas
-Your bed (or guitar case) is a coffin
-You want your first car to be a herse
-You wear all black during summer marching camp
-Sterotypical goths h@te you, but thats okay
-You and your best friend fight over whose black boots are midnight and whose are death black
-Your parents dont introduce you to there friends
-You can't eat Italian food
-When you feel weird in colors
-When your sibliings friends wont come over
-When you stare at the moon for hours, especially on Friday the 13th
-You only date guys with long hair, spikes, chains, and trench coats
-You almost died because someone tricked you into watching a sunrise (@#%$ non-goth friends)
-Your guy friend used the last of your black eyeliner...
-A new church member tries to "convert" you
-You leave a black lipstick mark on the Lord's Supper cup
-Friends drag you into the bathrooms to see if you have a reflection in the mirror
-You file your teeth sharp
-Your neighbors flee into their house when they see you
-Your mistaken for a witch
-When people think your dolly is used for voodoo
-When your placed in the school newspaper for being a Religious Conntradiction (it was a good article though)
-Your friends are sick of you complaing about the sun during lunch, so they shade you (simpltons)
-You spend hours in hottopic (half the time moshing with the clerks)
-You calm down with death metal music
-People are afraid to bump you in the hallways because they think you may place a curse on them.
-You walk into a room, turn on the light, and immediately scream out in pain as you shut it off.
-You are picky about what chade of blake you wear
-After recovering from a serious illness, you are upset to hear people say, "You look better now."
-You were one of the babies in this oh-so-scientific study
-You wear whiteface for so many consecutive days that when you finally wash it off you are surpriesed to see yourself with pigment.
-You can stab someone to death with your hair.
-You single handedly keep an entire makeup company in buisness just by buying their eyeliner.
-You wear colors only when your too depressed to wear black.
-You do all of your yearly shopping in the last couple months before Hallowe'en.
-Even your closest freinds dont reconize you with out your makeup on.
-You wonder why people in your psychology class feel the need to study masochism. Doesn't everyone like to get hurt?
-You buy your jewelry at a hardware store.
-An emergence arises at 3pm and you say, "What a way to start the day!"
-A blood drive is being announced and you start making plans to steal the blood.
-All the lint on your carpet is black
-No matter how crownded a bus is, no one ever sits next to you.
-You havent seen your natural hiar colour in so many years that when people ask you what it is, your response is one of confusion.
-People apologize for missing your funeral
-You cried for Edward Scissorhands
-People in your dorm no longer wonder who keeps showering in the dark.
-You've heard enough Elvira comments to start thinking there really is a connection between you and her.
-Your idea of making a new outfit is cutting up and old one.
-People give you their halloween decorations on Novermber first.
-Caffeine is more important than sunlight.
-Petrol is more important than sunlight.
-Your a guy that wears more makeup than your wife
-You take ice cold baths before going to bed.
-At your wedding it is difficult to tell which is the bride and which is the groom.
-You have ever slamdanced.
-You didnt come out on the printed film.
-Your reflection is distorted.
-You dont need to tell your teacher that it was your dog that eat your homework...
* Added December 28th 2003
-Your favorite soap opera is Buffy the vampire Slayer
-Your favorite band is classified as "techno death-metal"
-All your coworkers Hate your music
-Tan coloured pantyhose physically repulses you.
-You like the lyrics to siouxie and the banchees
-Rather than your eyes, you think eye liner is the focal poing of your face
-You call yourself "Damien"
-You hate to see Dracula's castle go up in flames in every 60's Dracula movie.
-You own every shade of black clothing
-The sun scares you
-You wear a pink dress because you scare YOURSELF
-You dont like Batman becasue he's cool but because of him name
-You have the biggest crush on the crow
-You want to get married to the soundtrack of edward scissor hands
-People remind you that you look like thiere dead ex.
-You spend hours in your darkened bastment bedroom.
-Your bed is a coffin
-You drive a used herse
-You've spent the night in a cemetary
-Your wearing all balck during the summer evenb when at summer camp.
-You and your best freind fight over whose black boots are midnight and whose are black death.
-Your parents dont introduce you to their freinds.
-You stare at the moon for hours
-People try to excorist you, thinking your possesd
-Your boyfreinds name is Memnock
-You only date guys who have long hair and wear trench coats
-Instead of watching the sunrise you watch the moonrise
-Your male freinds use the last of your eyeliner
-You have to make a decision and you think "what would Eric Clayton do?"
- The only crayon you used in kindergarten was black
- Your black is balcker htan my black. and you call it "black black"
- You dont say "black" yuo say "blahhwwwkkk"
- You walk in a room and suddenly the lights go out.
- When people touch you and instantly become goth and say "oh no, now I'm a goth"
- You died and didnt notice
- Whenever you knock on someones door they give you candy
- Your not only "goth" but also "gothe", "goff", "gawth", "gothic", "gothique", " gawfick", and soon hope to become "gauewthickeu"
- When you stop pouting and people ask you what your so ahppy about
- when you go outside the sunsets.
- When you were born the doctor asked you, "whats with the shades?"
- You set off airport metal detectors from 9 ft. away with your bling-bling
- You can smoke cloves in the shower
- Your dead
- You think PVC tape is a fashion accessory
- In kindergarten all your pictures were titled "Death"
- In kindergarten you wore corsets
- You wonder if your dogs collar looks better on you
- After being just born you asked for a light for your clove
- You ate a happy meal... because you like to live dangerous
- You dont take may medications so you can be more goth
- You make flowers wilt
- You like the flowers better that way
- You punched a care bear
- When you simle people ask whast wrong.
- Old ladies in walkers cross the street insult you
- You keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs
- when you moved into Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood, he moved away!
- when you tried to use Cheer , it cried.
- You know what PVC stands for
- People at the suicide hot-line ask you to stop calling
- Nuns and priests resent you because you look better in black than them
- The dark is afraid of you
- You became a fishermen, just so you could use the fishnets
- You sleep UNDER your bed
- You dont eat "gummy bears", you eat "glummy bears."
- You dot your i's with a frowny face
- When you were a mere child you didnt cry over spilt milk. You mourned over it
- You make Happy Meals cry
- You shower with blreach instead of soap.
- Bats hang little plastic verions of you on their ceiling
- That if you go into the sunlight people have to put on ther shades because of the reflectiong off your skin
- When you were kin kindergarten you sung "woe, woe, woe, your boat..."
- When your nearby colours fade away.
- As a child you thought funeral processions were parades
- You make rainbows frown
- You tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree but it died.
- You fall asleep with your hands crossed on your chest
- All you ever do is talk about how goth you are
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