When is self control tested in your life ? Is it when you are driving your car and someone pulls out in front of you. Is it when your stopped at a traffic light and your in a bigger hurry than the car in front of you. Or could it be when you are driving down the high way at 75 mph. and everyone else is going to slow even though they are driving the speed limit. We all know that a metamorphosis takes place when we get behind the steering wheel of a car.

Let me ask you a personal question, how many of you would say, "I have had at least one time in my life where I have literally lost control. I have lost control to the place that I blurted out some things and said some things that I should have never said to some people I should have never said it to but at that particular moment in my life, I had just lost control and I said it!" Would you be that honest? How many of you would say, "I have lost control before in my life!" Keep your hands raised. Now the rest of you who have not lost control, would you lay your hands on the person next to you whose hands are ... Because all of us who are honest would say, "Yeah, there are times in my life where I have lost control." As a believer, God wants us to realize that He has given us the power to maintain and keep and constantly develop control in our life.

How many of you know that we are living in a world of people that is out of control. We not only see this in the world , we can see this in the church as well. How many of you know that a lack of self control is a indication that we are living in the last days.

I know some of you are saying, " I didn’t see or hear any thing in that scripture about self control.

NASB. 2 Tim.3:3 Unloving, irreconcible, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good.

How many of you believe that we are living in the last days, not just because I say so, but due to the evidence of lack of self-control that we see all around us.

I know that you have heard someone or perhaps you yourself have said," I can’t control my temper, and when I loose my temper, I loose control of my tongue.

There are those that have a problem controlling their eating habits. We call it a eating disorder, but God calls it gluttony.

There are others that have a problem just controlling their tongues period. We call it " just stating the facts, God calls it gossip.

Then there are others that just like to express their feelings. We call this expressing our selves. God calls it complaining.

This verse describes a person who lacks self-control. "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control" [Proverbs 25:28. Like a city that has no walls and when the enemy comes the city is open and vulnerable to attack from all sides. In the same is a person without self-control. When temptation comes into your life, there is nothing to stop it. It comes in and just takes charge of your life.

The wise person may feel all sorts of emotions and sense their expression rising to the tip of his tongue, but the wise person has discipline and control to stifle these expressions.

He may bite his tongue, count to ten, or change the subject or what ever else it takes to control himself.

Mastering and controlling yourself is the greatest victory of them all. What good is it to conquer and to control cities and lands when you can’t even conquer and control yourself. The devil is not your greatest enemy, your neighbor is not your greatest enemy, nor your employer or those that you work with. You are your own worst enemy. If you want to win a great battle, then conquer and control your passions, your desires, your tongue and your actions.

We seem to be more concerned about what others may say about us, when in reality we should be more concerned about what we say about ourselves. When we lose control of ourselves we are saying a lot about ourselves. We are saying that I’m not as spiritual as people think I am. I’m not really living the victorious life like some think. When we lose control we are saying a lot about ourselves that people don’t know.

You’ve heard the saying," I can’t hear what you are saying because your actions are screaming at me ".

2 Peter 1:6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; ( KJV )

Have you ever stopped to think about the enemy sitting back and laughing at you when your life gets out of control.

This reminds me of the way I use to fight. I’d go crazy and just start swinging and the person that I was fighting would just sit back and laugh at me. I lost control and my enemy sat there and laughed. Why was he laughing ? Well while I was out of control I wasn’t doing him any harm. But when I gained control of myself then I began to do some damage.

In the same way as long as we are out of control the enemy of the church just sits back and laughs because we aren’t doing him any harm. When we get in control then we can do some damage to him and his kingdom.

I want to give you seven steps to regain control of your life.

God is telling us that the source of our lack of self-control is because we have an evil desire. Therefore, we need to take responsibility for our lack of self-control. We do bad things because we like to do it. Because there is something within us, that we are born with, urging us to do bad things. There is an inner desire. We need to learn to take responsibility for our behavior, or our lack of self- control.

Often, instead of admitting there is a problem, or that we are the source of the problem, we want to blame, or shift the blame, to somebody or something else. Many times instead of admitting our problems, we want to deny we have a problem. We say:

* "What problem? There is no problem."

* " It is not that big of a deal."

* "I can get control over this at any time."

* "If I want to, I can stop."

* "I don't have a problem."

The classic thing that we do is to blame other people for our problems. We say:

* "The devil made me do it."

* "Because of my parents and my upbringing, I was raised in a dysfunctional family and that is why I behave the way I do."

* "Because I have been abused."

* "I have been hurt."

* "I had a terrible experience in my past."

* "I am not in control, I can't help myself."

We shift the blame to somebody else rather than taking responsibility ourselves. I know it is a very popular idea, in much of the secular psychology today, is to go back into your past and find some reason for why you are behaving today the way you are. To find some excuse, to rationalize it.

Well, God says, very clearly, the problem is right here. It is in our own evil desire. If we are going to begin to gain self-control, it is admitting there is a problem within us. It is not somebody else's problem. It is my problem and I need to take responsibility for it. If you want to begin the process of developing self- control, you must admit that it is your problem. And you need to admit each specific problem in your life.

This is a very important step. You need to put your past behind you if you are going develop self-control. Notice what Paul says, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal..."[Philippians 3:13-14].

It is very important that you understand that there is a misconception, or a lie, that many of us live with in terms of really wanting to change our lives. The lie is something like this:

* once a failure, always a failure

* I tried to change that in my life before and I couldn't do it, there is no way I can do it now

* I tried 15 times and I could not succeed, therefore I am a failure

* I can't change

These are lies. They are misconceptions. We need to put the past behind us and look forward to the future of what God can do in our future, what God can change in our lives. Failure in the past does not mean that you will never be able to change in the future. Because we have failed does not mean that we can't change in the present. However, if you focus on the past, if you dwell on your past failures, that is a sure case that you will fail in the future as well. It is sort of like driving your car and looking in the rear view mirror the whole time as you are driving the car. You are looking behind. Eventually you will hit something. You need to take your eyes off the past, focus on the future, focus on what God says about your future.

Notice what Paul says, "For the grace of God...teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and Godly lives..." [Titus 2:11-12]. The grace of God teaches us, gives us the power to say no to our passions, our feelings and desires. We don't have to give in. We can resist. We can say no. We don't have to depend on our strength. We have the supernatural strength when Christ is in your life. We need to learn to say no to those things that control our lives.

If you don't believe it, you can't change. But change is possible, but you have to start believing you can change. The truth is this, what you believe about yourself controls your behavior. If you believe you are stupid, no good, you are a failure, then that is how you are going to live your life. Your behavior will follow your beliefs. But if you believe that God loves and cares for you, he is on your side, God can do anything and you believe, "I can do all through Christ" then it will affect the way you live your life. If that is the belief you are holding on to.

Therefore, if we are going to change in our lives, we need to change the way we think. Because the way we think affects the way we live. Listen to this, the way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel determines the way you act. So our feelings are affected by the way we think, our behavior is affected by the way we think. Many times we set ourselves up for failure when we say from the very beginning:

This step is one of those things we don't like to do. We don't want to be to accountable to other people in the body of Christ. We don't want to share too many of our struggles, weaknesses, and failures in the body of Christ. We have the American rugged individualism, "I can do it in my own strength, by myself." Well, God never intended for his children to do that, to live by ourselves. He created us in such a way that we need each other. That we need the community. We need the body of Christ. We need to make ourselves accountable one to another.

Avoid temptation is common sense. We need to avoid the things that are tempting to us. Like if you have a weakness for ice cream, don't keep ice cream in the house when you are trying to lose weight. You need to avoid those areas where you are tempted in life. You need to identify those areas so you can avoid them. This is why Paul writes, "Flee the evil desires of youth..." [2 Timothy 2:22].

This is probably the most important step to secrets of lasting self-control. If you want to develop self- control, you need to learn to depend on Christ's power. We do not have the kind of power to resist temptation in our own strength, in our own ability. We need Christ's power in our life if we are going to resist temptation and to overcome and master our feelings, desires and passions in life.

Notice what Paul says, "Let the Spirit direct your lives, and you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature" [Galatians 5:16 GN]. Notice the sequence of this verse. Notice it does not say that if you have the Spirit of God in your life you will not have any fleshy desires. You see, even as a born again Christian, even as a Billy Graham or whoever you might be in the kingdom of God, as long as you are living on this earth you will have

temptations and struggles with the flesh. But the promise here is that if God's Spirit is in your life you can learn to say 'no' continually to the flesh so that you can say 'yes' to Christ. The desires will not go away. They will be there but we have the power to say 'no' to those desires and passions and impulses in our lives.

The truth is, is that you need Christ in your life right now to help you break those bad habits, clean up your life, resolve those problems. You need his strength. You need his power. You need his help.

In what area of your life do you lack self-control? Maybe there is one, maybe there are many areas. Maybe your life is out of control. As you surrendered your life to Christ, He will take control.

The secret to self-control is Christ control. Surrendering our hearts and lives to Christ.

When you surrender your life to Christ, God will transform and change you. That is what God is in the business of doing. That is why Jesus died on the cross. That is why it is Good News. It is because God wants to come into your life, to transform and change you.