i recently read a book entitled "SlaveCraft", authored by a grateful slave, with Guy Baldwin, M.S. Although i have read quite a few lifestyle books, this is, by far, the best to date. i have talked with many people about my thoughts on this book, and would like to share them with
you :o)
The main essays that comprise the book take up about 111 pages....not a very thick book. i sat down to begin my reading at the request of Daddi, who had just finished it Herself, and figured that i could have it finished within a couple of days. A full two weeks later, i was done. i found the book to be a very intense read, very thought provoking, and one that left me reading and re-reading the same passages at times trying to gain their meanings. i identified my own thoughts and feelings in the words much more than i thought i would...afterall, i call myself submissive, not slave. But while i was reading, i had so many of those "omg, that's exactly how i feel!" moments that i now realize i do indeed want to serve Daddi in the most intensely slave-like way. In the book, the slave explains his thoughts on the difference between a submissive/bottom, and a slave: "The chief difference between them is the orientation from which each pursues his own satisfaction. Bottoms have appetites that are their own, whereas slaves' needs become the same as those of the Master." he gives the example of boot licking, saying that if the bottom enjoys boot licking, the Master will get Their boots licked, but at some point if the bottom loses interest, they wil probably initiate some other activity or just stop. The slave, on the other hand, will continue licking until the Master directs otherwise or until they can no longer physically lick the boots, regardless of the personal like or dislike of boot licking. "...the bottom gets to enjoy (their) interest in licking; the slave gets the pleasure of pleasing the Master. If the slave also happens to love boot licking, then that is a bonus for the slave, but it is not his main source of pleasure".
The slave talks of the 4 principles of slavery....Identity, Obedience, Transparency, and Humility. Of these, the one that struck me as most important is the Principle of Obedience. he says that slaves must "become accomplished at obedience itself". That is my goal in my service to Daddi. he writes, "...our obedience determines what can be enjoyed. It determines our self-esteem and pleasure. It connects us. It gives us purpose. It protects us. It validates us. i have come to believe that obedience is the very spirit of slavery...Obedience alone determines what is right and what is wrong. It frees a slave to be what only a slave can be - one whose will has been replaced by that of another." i know from personal experience that when i obey Daddi, i am centered, i am most content. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that i have obeyed in the best possible way i can, and that She is pleased with my obedience. It does not matter what the service is that i am doing for Her, what matters is that i do it without question or hesitation....that i make no excuses, no arguments....i only obey. It is at these times that i feel most at peace, centered, sure of myself and my place. When She is most demanding of me, it helps nourish my obedience. i remember in the beginning of the relationship, i would test Her Dominance by giving excuses for why i didn't follow Her instructions. Occasionally when She would request i write Her about something, i would find reasons not to fulfill Her requests by the deadline given....my head was hurting, i was too stressed from work, i had company blah blah blah. If She told me to go by the market on the way home from work, i would "forget". If i was instructed to be in bed by 11 pm, i would crawl between the sheets at 11:15. i would teasingly tell Her "no" when She asked me to bring Her something. Sometimes, the test was a very conscious act, and sometimes not.....but they were tests nonetheless. What i discovered was that 1) i always felt full of shame and guilt when i tested Her, and 2) if She happened to "fail" the test, a sense of disappointment would envelope me, followed quickly by fear and resentment toward Her. Fortunately, we were able to talk openly and honestly and we both realized that i needed Her to demand my obedience, and to never accept less than total compliance. She began to punish me (usually by either sending me away or leaving the room Herself and ignoring me) when i would test, and omg, y'all know how awful it is to be ignored by the Top! i absolutely hated the feelings it produced inside me, but it proved invaluable in my training myself to serve and obey Her unconditionally. Her guidance of my submission is the key to helping me further my own training. If She had continued to excuse my behavior and had only handed out minor punishments, then allowed me to disrespect Her again shortly thereafter by disobeying, i would have eventually lost respect for Her as my Dominant. An important note....i did indeed miss my deadline on reading this book, and am awaiting my punishment for doing so. However, She knows the reasons why without me even trying to explain (one of them being how intense i found the book, and my need to read and re-read it over & over), and has assured me She will take those into consideration.
One last thought for the moment, and one i think is vital....the slave writes "Unless submissives* can become adept at sacrificing---giving up---personal desires and replacing such desires with an easy and comfortable obedience and compliance, relationships with Tops are destined to be stormy and, most probably, doomed to failure. Unless the sub has truly made up his mind that submission** is the best possible destiny, such sacrifices will eventually become difficult, if not impossible." "...unless (they) learn to bend their will, personalities, attitudes, and bodies to their Top's wishes, the relationships are at risk of becoming stormy and will likely collapse eventually."
i cannot agree more!! Regardless of whether you refer to yourself as a bottom, submissive or slave, this holds true in any long term relationship.
*the word submissive replaces the word slave, Top replaces Master
**the word submission replaces slavery
Please keep in mind these are my personal thoughts, and i welcome any and all other thoughts, whether they are in agreement or not. Feel free to drop me an email.
