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For and About the Children
What Your Taste in Music Says About You
Your musical tastes are energetic and rhythmic.
You are full of energy and can be quite talkative.
You are forward thinking and open minded.
You despise conservatism of any sort.
You are intense, detail oriented, and motivated.
You are an ambitious person, though your ambition is anything but conventional.
What Does Your Taste in Music Say About You?
You Are Fairly Normal
You scored 60% normal on this quiz
Like most people you are normal in some ways...
But you aren't a completely normal person. You're a little weird too!
Why You Are Normal:
If you had to, you rather live without music and still have laughter
When you're in a car, you prefer to be the driver
If given the choice, you would choose to have more money over more time
You'd rather have rats than cockroaches in your home
You think glasses can make someone more attractive
Why You Aren't Normal:
You think fishnet stockings are sexy
You find the Chicken Dance to be the more embarrassing dance
You would rather be a movie star than an astronaut
You are no longer with your first love
You know a little about many subjects
What's Normal About You... And What's Not?
Deployment Link http://www.deploymentlink.osd.mil/index.shtml http://www.afcrossroads.com/famseparation/pre_sec1_spouse.cfm Section I: A Military Spouse's Viewpoint For many spouses, when the separation finally occurs, for many spouses this is a reality check. Until now there was the possibility of a change in orders or some other eventuality to prevent departure. But the separation is inevitable, and the spouse must cope. When your spouse leaves or deploys, a piece of you goes too, but that's what you want...for part of you to be with your spouse. You find that you, too, keep your spouse present with you. You may sleep with their picture on your nightstand, or you may leave a pair of their shoes by the front door. When your spouse leaves, you go through a whole series of different emotions. About six to eight weeks before your spouse leaves you begin to "psyche up" for the departure, and you both get very busy thinking about details that need to be tended to before departure. You both may feel excited, intimidated, and maybe a little worried about how you will manage. About three to four weeks before your spouse leaves, you begin to put distance between the two of you, build a few walls, maybe withdrawing from each other. You may become irritated with each other and you may even have a fight. This distancing reaches a peak about two to three days before your spouse leaves when you both think they should be gone so that you both can begin counting down to the reunion...which may seem an eternity away! This "distancing" is normal and allows you to permit this person who is so very important to you to go away...for a while. When "THE DAY" arrives you may drive your spouse to the base and be thinking that some way, something, somehow will keep them home. Whatever you say to each other may seem awkward and not quite right, and afterward, when you reflect on not seeing each other for a long time, you may wonder why you couldn't have been more romantic, or have given a "warmer" good-bye. YOU ARE NORMAL! For the first day or so after your spouse leaves, you may feel like a robot, just going through the motions, almost like you are in shock. You might just want to stay home. You may not want anyone around you. You may wonder if it was easy for your spouse to leave you, after all, your spouse seemed to be excited about going on assignment or deployment. You may feel overwhelmed by all the responsibilities you are facing. Then you may get angry with your spouse, with the Air Force, your spouses' commander or duty section, perhaps even with the whole world! How could your spouse leave? You will get over that too, and find you can handle the separation. You'll probably find yourself within a few weeks beginning to settle into a pattern. If you don't find some comfortable pattern or routine and continue to feel upset, call your Family Support Center. They can give you information and or assistance to help you over this hurdle. The new pattern of your life while your spouse is gone may find you a little more subdued, and certainly lonely. Sleep may come a little more easily than in the first few weeks of the separation, but probably not as easily as when your spouse is at home. Food may finally begin to taste less like sawdust. You may find from your spouse's letters that they are not angry with you, just lonely, and missing you. IF YOU FIND A ROUTINE THAT WORKS WHILE YOUR SPOUSE IS GONE, STAY WITH IT! THAT REGULARITY, THAT RITUAL IS VERY COMFORTING! Six to eight weeks before your spouse comes home, you may begin planning for the homecoming. There are decorations to make, and special meals to plan, and nagging worries: WILL MY SPOUSE HAVE CHANGED? STILL LOVE ME? APPROVE OF THE CHANGES IN ME? HAVE THE SAME CLOSENESS WE HAD BEFORE? As the time grows nearer, you will probably get more and more excited, may sleep less, and launch into a frenzy of house cleaning. In your mind you play over and over again various versions of the homecoming. You imagine... You see the reunion in slow motion, over and over again, like in the movies; with sunlight and fields of flowers, and you two as the only people in the world. In the last few days you seem to find yourself feeling many different emotions. Butterflies keep you awake at night. You should be happy that your spouse is returning , and you are, but you are also apprehensive. For the past months you have been the head of the house and you really haven't had to answer to anyone for where and when you go, or what you spend money on. You have had the bedroom all to yourself and you've taken care of the family's finances. Maybe you feel like your hard-earned independence is at stake. You are proud of surviving, and maybe even thriving while your spouse has been gone. You've missed your spouse terribly, but you've learned you can manage quite well while he/she is away. The Big Day arrives and you've probably not slept well at all and you've spent hours trying to look your best. You finally have that reunion. There may be raindrops instead of sunlight, and instead of fields of flowers, there are fields of people at the hanger. The hugs and kisses are every bit as good as you remember, and your spouse raves about how good you look and you tell your spouse they're a sight for sore eyes. Your spouse tells you that they are proud of the way you kept the home fires burning, and it doesn't matter that you didn't save more money, and you want to believe your spouse, but there is something in their face, perhaps something in their voice. Understand that your spouse too, is apprehensive about the homecoming, and they also want to be very, very right. They may be a little unsure and may wonder if maybe you have learned to do without them too well...perhaps they're not needed, or wanted anymore. You KNOW your spouse is wanted AND needed, and you should tell them that again and again!! When you are back together again, take some quiet time to sit together, holding hands and talking about what happened. You need to listen to each other and you both need to talk. You have a thousand questions to ask, as does your spouse, and you both need reassurance that everything will be okay. Realize that you both have grown during your time apart and it is important for each of you to allow the other to have some space and time alone. The time to reestablish old patterns and to establish new, better ones, takes several weeks; so don't expect to fall back into "How it was" overnight. Take time to enjoy the intense pleasure of reuniting as a couple. Keep this in mind as you face a family separation: The leaving and returning are never easy, but it does not last forever. Rarely are the separation and the reunion exactly as you would have imagined. Both have their drawbacks, but both also have their rewards. The important thing is that you both survived the separation. Remember the time apart, what you learned, what you liked, and what you did not like, and apply these lessons to similar experiences you may face in the future. It will help to make you a stronger, better prepared husband and wife team. Section II: Coping with Separation Family separation periods provide for a time of self-growth. Not many civilian spouses have the built-in opportunity for a time to take a good look at themselves. HOW IS YOUR ATTITUDE What is your attitude? It is the state of mind with which you approach a situation. Why is your attitude so important? Because it affects how you look, what you say, and what you do. It affects how you feel, both physically and mentally, and it largely affects how successful you are in achieving your purpose in life. What could be more important? Negative attitudes make life difficult for everyone. Positive attitudes help everyone get the most out of life. While talent is important and knowledge is essential, the most important key to success is your state of mind! When the spouse goes away, you have to make a choice. You can apply a positive attitude, and make the best of the time you have to be apart, or, you can apply negative attitude, draw the drapes, withdraw and complain until they come home. Given the two choices, the first one is healthier and much to your advantage. Time passes quickly when you are busy. It also makes for better, longer and more interesting letters to your spouse. Find something you enjoy doing. Something that says YOU! Set goals for tomorrow, next week, next month. The completion of a project will give you a sense of satisfaction. Have you thought about: Going back to school? Taking up a new hobby? Pursuing an aerobic or weight program? Seeking part-time or full-time employment? Participating in Family Support Center or other base programs? Volunteering? HANDLING STRESS Take care of yourself. Don't try to fix family and friends. Get involved in things that make you happy. Avoid self-medication and abusing substances like drugs, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, and food. Liquor and drugs reduce the perception of stress, but don't reduce stress. Be flexible; accept that you can't control everything. Plan for stress. Set realistic goals that leave time for breaks and limit work. Take a stress reduction class. Learn how to praise yourself and accept praise. Turn off the "constant censure" voice that always says "you should." Keep a sense of humor with you at all times. Start thinking about what you really want out of life and begin to work towards those goals. Take a mental health day every two or three months. Avoid sulking. Let people know what you want. Learn how to express irritation and appreciation to others. Pick out somebody you work with and tell them something about yourself that you haven't told anyone else. WHEN THE BLUES GET BLUER Loneliness. Most people find the dinner hour and Sunday afternoon the times when they miss their spouses the most. Additionally, everybody has an occasional blue Monday. If your blue days are increasing in frequency, pay attention to what is going on around and in you. Are you: Letting things go? Gaining weight? Yelling at the kids? Constantly watching TV? Sleeping in late? Withdrawing from people? Dropping out of organizations? Spending a lot of time with your thoughts? Drinking more than usual or drinking alone? No one takes a giant leap into depression. It is more of a cumulative process. Your favorite words are "I can't." Some use alcohol and drugs as a remedy. But that doesn't work. Drinking does nothing to answer life's problem. In fact, drinking just helps you to relax and forget--but the problems are still there. The cure for depression is the same as the prevention. Take positive action. Behavior is changed by thoughts and feelings. If you can, talk to a friend. If you are alone, and problems seem overwhelming, call the Family Support Center, Chapel, or Mental Health Clinic. They have people who can help. When your spouse is away, you need to get the sense that you are moving up and forward. Frustration comes when spouses see others accomplishing things while they are immobile waiting for their spouse to return. Section II: Children Issues Parents can help children understand and accept the separation and their feelings about it by planning ahead. Anticipate the problems and discuss them with the entire family. PRE-FAMILY SEPARATION The pre-family separation period is stressful for parents and children. Confronted with an extended absence of a parent, family members sense a loss of continuity and security. Children may not fully understand why one of their parents must leave. Very often young children may become confused and fearful that Mommy or Daddy will desert them. Children are not very good at expressing fears and feelings in words. Anger and a desire for revenge, as well as guilt for feeling that way, are often demonstrated in the child's behavior. Change is puzzling to children. They want everything to remain the same. When changes occur, children usually have no other way to release anxieties, and no where to go for help. At a time when the separated spouse's responsibility to the Air Force becomes more demanding of their time and energy, the remaining spouse may feel overwhelmed, as they prepare to solely support the children, home and car. What can be done about relieving the stress of the pre-family separation period? Think about the following ideas which have been helpful to others in similar situations: TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENT OR DEPLOYMENT BEFORE IT HAPPENS. Communicate your thoughts and feelings about the separation. Be open and honest. Some parents worry that advance warning will only give the child more time to fret. However, children can sense when something is about to happen and worry more when they are left in the dark. Knowing about the assignment or deployment in advance helps in adjusting to the idea. BUILDING AN EMOTIONAL BOND The departing parent needs to spend some QUALITY time with each child before they leave. Younger children (under 8) will be willing to accept a half hour of face-to-face communication. Don't be afraid to hug your child. A display of affection is powerful communication. Older children (8 and over) appreciate being consulted when deciding how long and where this "special" time together can occur. Use this time to share pride in your work, squadron, the Air Force, and the purpose for your assignment or deployment. Children of school age are beginning to understand that some events must happen for the good of everyone. It is a little easier to let go if Mom or Dad's job is seen as essential to the mission of the Air Force. Often when asked if something is bothering them, a child will say "no." But there are ways to get through. Make some casual reference to your own worries or ambivalent feelings about the impending assignment or deployment. Something that enables parent and child to share similar feelings. It also helps a child to realize their parent is a real person who can cry as well as laugh, and it models an appropriate way to release feelings--talk about them. VISIT YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER Frequently children react to the assignment or deployment by misbehaving in class or performing poorly in their studies. A teacher who is aware of the situation is in a better position to be sensitive and encouraging. CHILDREN NEED TO SEE THE PARENT'S WORKPLACE Very young children need to see where Mom or Dad eats, sleeps, and spends some of their day when away from home. You can do this through pictures or TV videos. This provides them with a concrete image of where the parent is when they can't come home. Older children can learn a great deal from the parent about the function of his or her job, the sophisticated technology, interdependence of each division of the military with the other, and of course, career direction. (Statistics indicate that about 30% of our present day military personnel were raised in a military family.) PLAN FOR COMMUNICATING Expect children to stay in touch with the departed spouse. A lively discussion needs to take place before departure. Encourage children to brainstorm the many ways communication can occur in addition to letter writing, such as cassette tape exchanges, photographs with their parents, encoded messages, "puzzle messages" (a written letter cut into puzzle parts that must be assembled in order to read), unusual papers for stationery, and pictures drawn by preschoolers. HELP CHILDREN TO PLAN FOR THE DEPARTURE While the spouse is packing their bags, allow your children to assist you in some way. Suggest a "swap" of some token, something of your child's that can be packed in a duffel bag in return for something that belongs to the departing spouse. Discuss the household chores and let your children choose (as much as possible) the ones they would rather do. Mother and Father need to agree with each other that division of household chores is reasonable. The role of disciplinarian needs to be supported by the departing member. BEING A LONG DISTANCE PARENT Parenting while away from home is not easy. Some separated parents find it so emotionally difficult they withdraw and become significantly less involved in the lives of their children while they are apart. This, of course, is not good either for the parent or the children, not to mention the difficulty it causes the parent/caregiver who is at home alone. The most important aspect of parenting from a distance is making those small efforts to stay in touch. Doing something to say the parent is thinking about and missing the child is what is most important. Here are some practical suggestions to help keep the absentee parent involved with their children: Letters and cards from mom or dad are important. The length and contents are not nearly as important as the presence of something in the mail from the absent parent. When sending picture post cards, make little notes about the place or write that you stood right here "x" in the picture. Any small thing which makes the card personal will have tremendous meaning to children at home. Cut out and send things from the local paper or magazines. This is a tangible way to help them feel connected and give them an idea of what life is like there. For older children, a subscription to a favorite magazine is a gift that keeps on giving. When using a tape recorder, remember to be creative: sing "Happy Birthday," tell a story, read scripture, take it with you on your job or when visiting with other members of your unit. Don't try to fill a tape completely in one sitting. Make sure you describe the surroundings, the time of day, and what you are doing, etc. Try not to forget birthdays and special holidays which would be important to a child, particularly Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Halloween, or Valentine's Day. Try to schedule phone calls when children are likely to be at home. Keep a mental list of things you want to talk about with each child, such as their friends, school, ball games, etc. Ask each child to send you something from the activities they are involved in at school, home or outside activities like dance lessons, youth groups or scouts. If your child has a pet, make sure to ask about it. Send an age appropriate gift for each child. It should be something special just for them. Some interesting and creative gifts include a special notebook for school, a book for coloring or reading, or something unique from where you are stationed. BECOME FAMILIAR WITH SOME OF THE EXCELLENT CHILDREN'S BOOKS THAT DEAL IN A SENSITIVE MANNER WITH A VARIETY OF FAMILY-CHANGE SITUATIONS: "A Special Family Friend and a New Adventure" by Hoffman and Sitler "Will Dad Ever Move Back Home" by Paula Hogan "All Kinds of Families" by Norma Simon "If You Listen" by Charlotte Zolotow "The Goodbye Painting" by Linda Berman "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein Reading them with your child can help clarify facts and identify feelings. TURN ON YOUR SENSORS AND TUNE IN TO YOUR CHILD'S WORRIES ABOUT THE ASSIGNMENT OR DEPLOYMENT Just because a child doesn't tell you about their concerns doesn't mean that they are not troubled. Children don't usually recognize the cause nor will they tell you they are concerned. The spouse that is departing should communicate with each child individually. There is no substitute for a letter with your own name on the envelope. Send postcards, snapshots, and tape recordings of the sounds around you where you are deployed. Use unusual stamps, felt-tip pens, colored pencils, and different styles of alphabets and lettering. TIPS FOR THE SPOUSE LEFT BEHIND It is very possible you will admit feelings of sadness, self-doubt, fear, or loneliness to your spouse and children. Most parents will agree that these are acceptable risks, and the feelings revealed are much easier to deal with when they can be expressed within the comfort and security of the family. Be honest about your feelings. Do not attempt to hide feelings--your own or the children's. Many times we try to spare our children from knowledge of our own concerns, self-doubts, and fears. Give children a method of measuring the passage of time. Families use such techniques as a ceremonial crossing-off of each day on a calendar as it passes, or of tearing a link off a paper chain consisting of the number of days or weeks the departed spouse will be away. Make sure the departed spouse stays well informed. Do not make the mistake of depriving your spouse of knowledge of what is happening at home, or the way things are being handled, out of fear of "distracting" or "worrying" him or her on the job. ( One parent was "spared" the knowledge that his or her son had to be hospitalized for emergency surgery.) Be responsible for all disciplining. Do not fall into the trap of using "Just wait until your Father or Mother gets home" as the ultimate threat. How can a child be expected to greet with joy and affections a parent that has been held over their head for months as the ultimate punisher. Section II: Communication Learn to be tactfully honest without being brutally frank. If you want to know what is going on with another person, listen to what that person is saying. KEEPING IN TOUCH Communicating. It is an important part of keeping any marriage alive. But when you are separated for so long by so many miles, communication becomes a vital necessity. As much as you need air and water, you NEED to hear from your spouse, and they from you. You both have several communication options available to you during a family separation, several of which will be discussed in this chapter. Now is the time to open the communication lines between you. Honestly discuss with each other your feelings about the assignment or deployment. What are your fears and expectations? Have you both considered and discussed what kind of changes can be expected by the time the separation is over? The spouse at home will be more independent than either of you can imagine. Your financial situation may change by the separation's end. The spouse at home may begin or end a job. Personalities will definitely change, especially those of the children. By the time the service member returns, goals may have changed for either or both of you. Instead of wanting to learn to change a tire, for example, you may be ready to rebuild an engine. LETTERS Letters are your lifeline to sanity. (Wait till you have not received one in a week and see if you don't think so.) But it takes a special skill, one you can easily develop, to write a letter during a family separation. You must walk a fine line between "Everything's falling apart and I can not handle it without you," and "Everything's falling apart but I do not need you anymore to fix it." Some spouses send letters about how great everything is, and how angelic the children are. Come on! They know things do not run that smoothly even when they are home. The more "everything is great" letter they get, the more they worry. In time, they begin to believe that you do not need them around anymore. (That is one of the worst, most common fears the spouse will have while separated.) Other spouses go entirely the other way--every little problem or irritation goes into a letter. It is full of complaints about how they must come home immediately to change a flat tire or discipline a child for a minor infraction. This kind of letter writer can make a family separation a living nightmare for the service member. Handle your letter writing with the same tact and understanding you want your spouse to have for you. You want to know everything that goes on around them, good or bad. You want to know about their friends and how they spend their off-duty time. You want to know they still love and need you. They want to hear those things from you also. PATIENCE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD IN FAMILY SEPARATION COMMUNICATIONS. Remember that mail is irregular at best. Letters and packages seldom arrive two days in a row--sometimes as much as two to three weeks pass between the time you place in the mail and the time they received it. A LETTER WRITER'S GUIDE Here are a few ways to enhance talking back and forth to each other by letter: Answer all questions. Write with your spouse's letter and picture in front of you, as though talking directly to them. Ask advice when needed. Explain problems clearly. If vague and unresolved, your spouse will worry. Express an appreciation for letters, tapes, etc., mentioning one or two points of special interest. Tell of daily activities in amusing and interesting ways. Remember, it is important to frequently express your affection for your partner. Share your feelings as openly and freely as you can without indulging in self-pity. Let your spouse know you would like to share their feelings. Above all, express yourself clearly and unequivocally so that your spouse will not have to say, "I wonder what was meant by that!" Neither husband nor wife should try to interpret what the other says, read between the lines, or discern the meanings. If you do not understand, ask questions--otherwise take things at "face value." If you have children and they can write, have them enclose notes or pictures in your letters. Children can use separate envelopes. Send pictures of home, the Christmas tree, activities around the house, etc. Have your spouse write separate letters to the children rather than a joint letter. Relay news of the neighborhood, friends, and relatives. Clip out newspaper articles that might be of interest to your spouse. Write often. If that is hard, supplement with cards (funny or romantic). Cards can help to express your thoughts and feelings, often in a unique or humorous way. Consider OCCASIONAL phone calls, if possible. MESSAGES Some occasions might call for a speedier method of contacting the service member than a letter: a serious illness or injury, a death in the family, a birth, routine or unexpected hospitalization. Depending upon the severity of the situation, there are two primary ways to send a message--emergency Red Cross or Western Union messages. If you are in doubt as to which method to use, contact your Family Support Center for advice. In either case, it is always a good precautionary action to follow a message with a written letter, clarifying the details of what has actually happened. AMERICAN RED CROSS In order for the Red Cross to send a message to your spouse, they must have verified information. They do not send greetings, only emergency information, and they do not grant emergency leave. If the emergency situation does not occur in the local area, you will save some time by contacting the Red Cross chapter where it does. Ask the Red Cross there to make verification and to contact the service member. In most cases, Red Cross notification is necessary for emergency leave to be granted by the spouse's commander. THERE IS NO CHARGE FOR RED CROSS MESSAGES. Before you call, have the following information on hand: grade, full name, SSAN, and complete duty address. WESTERN UNION MESSAGES Personal and non-emergency messages should be sent through the Western Union system. These include births, seasonal salutations, birthday and anniversary greetings, expected hospitalization, etc. Many people are going to see whatever message you send--before the service member is given the message. Do not say anything that might embarrass you or your spouse. It is recommended that you do not use Western Union to send the service member bad news that is going to cause pain or distress: serious illness, hospitalization complications, a death or injury in the family. If these are sent through Red Cross, it will not cost anything, and the service member will be given the message by the Commander or Chaplain who will be able to advise and comfort your spouse. Otherwise, the message may be delivered with no preliminaries or support. PLEASE!!! If you do send a message about an illness, injury, or hospitalization, be sure to include the doctor's diagnosis, the prognosis, and the length of any expected hospital stay or recovery period. The service member will feel better if they know everything that you know. Air Force Depending on where your spouse is deployed, your Family Support Center might be able to get a message to your spouse through the Family Network (Air Force). Check with your local FSC. OVERSEAS CALLS Nothing can substitute for your spouse's voice. That is why overseas calls are so popular. But the cost is exorbitant! Agree before the separation or deployment starts how many times, and when, they can call. Budget money for the calls during the assignment or deployment so your are financially prepared when the bills start coming in. One way to keep your phone cost down is to be prepared for the call. Keep a list near the phone so you know what to talk about. However, be prepared for the unexpected tears, both yours and your spouse's. It will also be cheaper if, when your spouse calls, you accept the call and ask them to give you the country access code (you can also find this in the information part of your phone book), city code, and phone number, and then you call them back. You will still be charged for the initial three minutes, but it is cheaper when you call your spouse direct if you plan on talking for more than five to ten minutes. Look in the phone book or call the operator and see what hours are cheaper; ask your spouse to use those hours whenever they can. Agree if you cannot get through in fifteen minutes that your spouse will call you back. In some cases, your spouse might be able to call you free of charge from his/her deployed location through government telephone lines (DSN). CARE PACKAGES A "care package" is exactly what it sounds like--a little bit of home that says, "I love you; I'm thinking about you." With just a little planning, they can be a great link over the distances. Care packages are also a morale builder during remote assignments or deployments. Speculation and excitement run throughout an entire shop when just one package arrives. When you get your first "Thank You" letter, you will be eager to start your next package. Be careful of what you send--the one rare commodity is privacy. What you send will undoubtedly be seen by a number of people. Even most officers share their quarters. Packages going overseas are subject to customs inspection and may be opened by the host country inspectors. Do not expect a lot of romantic talk on any recorded messages your spouse may send home--most spouses would be too embarrassed for anyone else to hear what they most want to say. MAILING TIPS Check with UPS on mailing restrictions. Do not use wrapping paper if you can help it, and string will foul up the postal machines. The post office recommends you use the reinforced, nylon strapping tape. Sender will not have to pay custom tariffs on packages mailed to an APO or FPO. Put an extra address card INSIDE before you seal the package. If the box should be damaged, and neither address on the outside can be read, it will be opened by the post office. If they can not find where it should go from the contents, the whole package goes to the dead-letter bin. Be sure that if you are sending a package for a special occasion to mail it so it has plenty of time to arrive. Better to arrive a little early than to let them think you have forgotten them. Do not forget to mark any packages that contain a recorded message, music, or VCR tape with the words "MAGNETIC RECORDED TAPES INSIDE--DO NOT X-RAY". Section III: Reunion A time to rebuild, reunite and rekindle your marriage and relationship. The reunion of a family after a separation can be just as stressful as the separation itself. If your family has experienced some strain or tension during a reunion, you are not alone. You may have wondered why an occasion that is "supposed" to be so romantic and exciting should turn out less than perfect. From the moment you are separated from the person you care about, you may begin to build up an image of that person in your mind. You may fantasize about how wonderful everything will be when you are together again. You may remember the members of your family as they appear in the photograph in your wallet--the picture perfect all-American family. A similar process is happening with the spouse and children. The missing member may be placed on a pedestal as the warrior out defending the country. Memories of everyday life such as making ends meet, occasional disagreements, and disciplining the children, begin to fade from everyone's mind. The reunion is seen as the solution to all problems. "Once we are together again, everything will be perfect." However, reality rarely has a chance to live up to the high expectations you have set in your minds. This is not meant to be a forecast of "doom and gloom." Homecomings can be very happy occasions as long as all family members make an effort to be as realistic as possible. If the tendency to not pick after oneself around the house occurred before the separation, that habit probably has not miraculously disappeared. If a weight problem existed prior to the separation, do not expect a fifty-pound loss to have occurred during the separation. If one of the children was experiencing problems at school, do not expect the problem to disappear at reunion time. Talking to one another and working through the everyday challenges that family life presents is what is important. This does not all have to be accomplished on the day of the family reunion. Give yourselves some time to enjoy one another. Everyone needs to get reacquainted before problem-solving begins. AIR FORCE MEMBER Ease yourself back into the family gradually. If you come on like a "Sherman tank" and try to bulldoze your way back into your family's life, feelings of resentment will surface. See yourself as a "Special Guest" for a while. Take some time to observe how the family has been running in your absence. You might be tempted to jump right in with "Now that I am home, there are going to be a few changes around here." You will see that some things will change naturally as a result of your presence in the family. If you disagree about the way other things have been handled, wait a few days and discuss it openly with your spouse. Do not try to take over the finances immediately. A complete interrogation regarding the state of the checkbook as soon as you walk through the door is bound to create hostility. Set aside some time when things have calmed down to review the financial situation with your spouse. Take it easy with the children in terms of discipline. For a while, stick with the rules your spouse has established during your absence. Immediately playing the "heavy" will not open up opportunities for you and the children to get to know one another again. It is not difficult to understand why some children are afraid of the returning parent if all they have to look forward to is "a changing of the guard." On the other hand, sometimes it is easy to spoil your children. If you have not seen them for a long period of time, or you are home for only short periods of time, you may find yourself not wanting to discipline them. You are probably eager to make up for the time you were unable to spend with them. This is certainly understandable. But do not put your spouse in the position of constantly playing the "heavy" while you have all the fun with the children. Do not be surprised if your spouse is a little envious of your travels. Your life may look very exciting compared to the job of "keeping the home fires burning." Surprise your spouse with a gift when you return from a new place. This way they can show off their "treasures" from different states or countries and cultures, and share in your experiences. Expect your spouse to have changed. Neither of you is the same person you were a few months ago, or even a few weeks ago. The main adjustment for military families after a separation is the change in roles. Your spouse has learned to cope alone as a matter of survival. Out of necessity, some of your roles have been taken over in order to compensate for your absence. Try not to be threatened if you find an independent person when you return home. The fact that your spouse can cope without you does not necessarily mean that he or she cares about you any less. SPOUSE Keep in mind that your spouse has been operating in a regimented environment with a daily routine. Transition to family life takes a while. In some instances, your spouse might be a rebellious against any kind of schedule or preplanned activity you have set up. Be patient! There might also be some trouble sleeping soundly throughout the night at first. It takes some time to make the transition from barracks-style living to home living, especially if your spouse has been standing rotating shifts or working irregular hours. Do not take it personally if you find your spouse day dreaming about work-related issues. Your spouse has been immersed in a totally work-related environment while away from home. It takes a while to let go of that world, even when a spouse is relieved to be away from it and home with the family. You might find that your spouse is either surprised or even hurt that you have been able to manage everything so well alone. Try not to get defensive. Everyone wants to feel needed. Reassure your partner that although you are capable of handling the household and family on your own, you need companionship and emotional support. Point out that it also makes life a lot easier when you have someone with whom you can share these responsibilities. CHILDREN Some children will keep their distances from the returning parent for a while. They may still have unresolved feelings of anger toward that individual for leaving them, and are not ready to allow that parent to be part of their lives yet. They may have to be "courted" for a while until they feel comfortable again. Other children will become "clingers." Each time the parent disappears from sight for a few moments, they think the adult has gone away from home again. As a result they tend to hold on for dear life and not let the parent out of their sight. Be patient. This will pass with time as they see you leave and return again. At reunion time Dad could be meeting his new infant son or daughter for the first time. This can be quite an emotional experience for everyone, including the infant. Parents, do not feel that you have to thrust a crying infant into the arms of the returning members. Do not feel overwhelming rejection if your infant will not come to your at first. Give the child some time. Infants are people too, and they need time to develop trust before they feel comfortable with a new adult in their lives. Plan to spend some time individually with each one of your children by doing some activity that is special to them. This allows the parent to get reacquainted with each child in a way that is most comfortable for that particular child. It also makes each child feel special and appreciated for their individuality. Expect your children to have changed, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes the changes are barely noticeable from day to day, but if you go away, you might discover upon your return that your toddler is walking, your fourth grader has learned the multiplication tables, and your teenage daughter has a new boyfriend. The Emotional Cycle of Deployment: A Military Family Perspective http://www.hooah4health.com/deployment/familymatters/emotionalcycle.htm#ch4 http://www.hooah4health.com/default.htm Bush, Vietnamese Prime Minister Focus on Mutual Security Concerns To: DEFENSE-PRESS-SERVICE-L@DTIC.MIL By Donna Miles American Forces Press Service WASHINGTON, June 21, 2005 - Today's meeting between President Bush and Vietnamese Prime Minister Phan Van Khai represents an important step forward as the two countries put the past behind them and build on common ground, the Pentagon's international security affairs chief said today. Assistant Secretary of Defense for International Security Affairs Peter Rodman said the meeting, during which Khai pledged to work with the United States to promote stability in the region, marks another progression in the two countries' evolving relationship. Khai became the highest-ranking Vietnamese official to visit the United States since the end of the Vietnam War 30 years ago and the normalization of relations between the two countries 10 years ago. During their visit this morning in the White House, Bush and Khai discussed security issues and a mutual desire to coordinate in the war on terror, the president said during a news conference following the meeting. Bush accepted Khai's invitation to visit Vietnam next year to participate in the Asia-Pacific Economic Conference. It would be the first presidential trip to Vietnam since President's Clinton's trip there 10 years ago. Bush thanked the prime minister for his government's willingness to continue to help find the remains of U.S. servicemembers still missing in Vietnam. "It's very comforting to many families here in America to understand that the government is providing information to help close a sad chapter in their lives," he said. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld was scheduled to meet with Khai later today. Rodman, who returned earlier this month from a two-day visit to Hanoi, called today's meetings another step forward in the two countries' relationship as they focus on common interests and concern. In Vietnam, Rodman met with Defense Minister Pham Van Tra and his vice minister, Nguyen Huy Hieu, to discuss bilateral military relations. He visited a military facility involved in bomb and land mine disposal techniques and met with senior defense and foreign relations officials. Despite their differences regarding government and human rights, both countries share an interest in maintaining security in Southeast Asia, Rodman said during an interview with the Pentagon Channel and the American Forces Press Service. He noted that with its "significant and capable" military, Vietnam is an important player in the region. "They're a factor in the security picture of Southeast Asia," he said. Vietnam is a country "struggling to join the rest of the world" and to tap into the economic boom that passed it by, Rodman said. In addition, as a member of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations, Vietnam "wants to be a part of intelligence sharing and cooperation" among the 10 participating nations, he said. Although it has not joined, Vietnam is being encouraged to become a part of Bush's Proliferation Security Initiative, Rodman said. The effort, which now includes more than 60 countries, focuses on stopping the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, their delivery systems and the materials used to make them worldwide. "There's a lot of multilateral cooperation developing among ASEAN (Association of Southeast Asian Nations)," Rodman said, "and we want Vietnam to be a part of that." In the meantime, the two countries will continue to develop their relationship "very gradually and in a way that both sides are comfortable with," Rodman said. "We're not pushing, and nothing dramatic is going to happen. But we expect to see more cooperation between the two countries." Biography: Peter Rodman [http://www.defenselink.mil/bios/rodman_bio.html] Related Site: State Department Background Notes on Vietnam [http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/bgn/4130.htm] _______________________________________________________ NOTE: View the original version of this web page on DefenseLINK, the official website of the U.S. Department of Defense, at http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Jun2005/20050621_1809.html. Exchange Services' 2005 Baby Catalog Now Available To better meet the needs of thousands of new or soon-to-be military moms and dads, the Army and Air Force Exchange Service has unveiled its 2005 Baby Catalog. The catalog contains listings for name brand furniture, car seats, strollers, play yards, baby safety and health products, toys, toddler beds, gifts and even a new line of jewelry sized just for baby. The new catalog is available for free at all main stores and online at the AAFES Web site.
�Year of Military Family� declared By Rick Maze - Staff writer Posted : Wednesday Mar 11, 2009 17:08:00 EDT A bipartisan resolution declaring 2009 the �Year of the Military Family� was passed by the House of Representatives on Wednesday on a unanimous vote after a flurry of speeches about how families are just as important to national security as uniformed service members. HConRes 64, approved by a 422-0 roll call vote, provides no new benefits, no boost in pay, no improvements in living or working conditions and does not create or expand upon any family support program. What is does is �urge� President Barack Obama to issue a proclamation designating 2009 as a year to hold ceremonies and events that point out the sacrifices made by the 1.8 million family members of active-duty troops and the 1.1 million family members of National Guard and Reserve troops. Rep. Ike Skelton, D-Mo., the House Armed Services Committee chairman and chief sponsor of the resolution, said families are sometimes overlooked when talking about sacrifices made during deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. �Over the last several years, military families have faced months of separation, some as long as 18 to 20 months,� he said. �With over a million children between the ages of birth and 23 years of age who have parents in uniform, there have been many missed birthdays, graduations, holidays, and a child�s first words and other major life accomplishments that are all too common as troops continue to experience back to back deployments.� Skelton said he expects such a proclamation to be issued, because Obama and first lady Michelle Obama already have made clear that military families will be a priority in this administration. Rep. Doug Lamborn, R-Colo., said support from families � including spouses, parents, children and siblings � is a big factor in recruiting and retaining service members. �Military families have an uncanny resilience,� he said. �They are some of the strongest citizens in this country.� NATO Striving to Build Professional NCO Corps To: DEFENSE-PRESS-SERVICE-L@DTIC.MIL By Kathleen T. Rhem American Forces Press Service WASHINGTON, May 9, 2006 - Just as noncommissioned officers and petty officers are the backbone of the U.S. military, they also are increasingly becoming the backbone of NATO, a top U.S. NCO said here today. Marine Sgt. Maj. Alford L. McMichael, senior noncommissioned officer for NATO's Allied Command for Operations, is at the forefront of that effort. He spoke during a conference of service senior enlisted advisors and combatant command senior enlisted leaders meeting at the Pentagon this week. McMichael is a former sergeant major of the Marine Corps. He assumed his current position in September 2003 and is the first senior enlisted advisor to the NATO operational commander. He began his briefing by describing some challenges facing NATO and an presenting overview of how the alliance has changed focus in the past few decades. For starters, decisions are not made with the concept of "majority rules" within NATO, but only by unanimity among the 26 member nations. "Everyone in the room, every nation, has to agree on any proposal," he said. In 1989, when the Cold War ended, many in the world questioned the necessity for such an alliance. "We had no enemy," McMichael said, "or at least no enemy with a return address." Ten years later, when NATO led operations to end ethnic cleansing in Kosovo, the tide of relevancy was turning for the Atlantic alliance, and member states began to realize they needed to get outside their comfort zone, McMichael said. The true turning point came with the November 2002 summit in Prague, Czech Republic. The sergeant major said that summit "changed NATO forever." Leaders of member nations recognized they needed to downsize -- of 3 million uniformed members of member states, only 30 percent were combat ready -- and globalize. The idea for the NATO Response Force also came out of that summit. McMichael today called that response force NATO's "golden jewel." He explained that the force basically fulfills the same role as a Marine expeditionary unit: able to stand up and deploy anywhere in the world within five days and then sustain itself for 30 days. Another significant change was a realization that NATO forces needed to build a professional NCO corps. Since McMichael was appointed to his position, he has worked to model NCO training programs on U.S. military NCO professional development programs. "It works for us, and it will work for them," he said. NATO countries are working together to develop a common standard for NCOs to accept responsibility and successfully execute any mission. NCOs from many NATO nations now receive training in management and leadership techniques to help those NCOs become "the single most effective combat multiplier in the NATO alliance," McMichael said. He said the seven nations that joined NATO in March 2004 are among the fastest to accept the idea of a professional NCO corps. "We went into it as a team" with those countries, he said. The sergeant major said he believes the true benefit of these efforts will become evident in future combined operations. "When your soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines see it on the battlefield, that's when it'll pay off," he said. "They won't be with someone on the battlefield with the same pay grade but with no understanding of their level of responsibility." Still, McMichael said, it's a challenge to ensure these efforts aren't "misconstrued as just another 'ugly American' idea being forced down their throats." Mobile teams for training and education include 32 instructors from 14 nations, he said. "Our biggest challenge in the future is not to make it appear that it's the U.S. way or no way," he said, but to bring the other member nations along willingly toward the common goal of a professional NCO corps. With NATO now sharing in responsibility for training Iraqi forces, McMichael was at the first Iraqi-forces graduation under the NATO Training Mission in Iraq. He said he was impressed with the Iraqi troops' dedication to their cause. "They were pumped up," he said. "You could see it in their eyes." Still, he added, he is a strong proponent for adding a strong NCO corps to the training plan. "We're training them without a Sergeant York," he said, without a sergeant to "put foot in butt and make sure their rifles are loaded." McMichael said he believes a development program for a strong NCO corps only improves combat effectiveness in a force. "We need to all speak a common language" to work together effectively, he said of allies working together. "We don't have time to be saying, ... 'Stay out of my (area of operations)' to each other." Biography: Sgt. Maj. Alford L. McMichael, USMC [http://www.nato.int/shape/bios/other/mcmichael.htm] Related Site: NATO [http://www.nato.int/] _______________________________________________________ NOTE: View the original version of this web page on DefenseLINK, the official website of the U.S. Department of Defense, at http://www.defenselink.mil/news/May2006/20060509_5074.html. ==================================================== Visit the Defense Department's Web site "America Supports You" at http://www.americasupportsyou.mil, that spotlights what Americans are doing in support of U.S. military men and women serving at home and abroad. ==================================================== Visit the Defense Department's Web site for the latest news and information about America's response to the war against terrorism: "Defend America" at http://www.DefendAmerica.mil. ==================================================== Unsubscribe from or Subscribe to this mailing list: http://www.defenselink.mil/news/subscribe.html ==================================================== April is Sexual Assault Awareness & Prevention Month [4/4/2006] ; Source: Army News Service By J.D. Leipold Army News Service WASHINGTON (April 3, 2006) � The Army, in conjunction with the observation of April�s National Sexual Assault Awareness Month, is highlighting its Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program. �We will use this opportunity to reaffirm our position that sexual assault will not be tolerated in any way, shape or form, and that sexual assault is a criminal offense which degrades mission readiness by devastating service members� ability to work effectively as a team,� said Ms. Carol Collins, Program Manager of the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program. LTC Carla Reed, former Program Branch Chief, recently returned from a tour of duty that studied this program in action, including in the OIF and OEF theaters. �As we took the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program�s policies and messages to the commanders and soldiers in the field, we conveyed the message that one sexual assault is too many, and that this crime has no place in the Army.� The Program was stood-up in September 2004, as part of the Army�s effort to eradicate sexual assault through training, prevention, education and awareness programs. In cases where prevention measures fail, victims should be assured that a system is in place to provide responsive, caring support, while holding offenders accountable. �Upon entry into the Army, Soldiers will be trained in sexual assault prevention and response, and within all professional military education courses throughout their careers,� Reed said. �We have requirements for annual awareness training within units, as well as during changes of station.� �With regard to responding to sexual assaults, the Army has a system in place whereby all those who provide support are integrated so they�re all talking to one another on behalf of the victim.� �The first resource available to victims is �victim advocacy,�� added Reed. �Service members within units, called �victim advocates,� can assist and support by explaining the process for accessing services, as well as escort the victim to talk to criminal investigators and to medical treatment appointments.� Army leaders are being trained about their responsibilities, and to ensure they are fostering organizational climates that encourage service members to treat each other with dignity and respect. Sexual assault is one of the most under-reported crimes in the U.S., and the same holds true within the military�s branches. �Many victims don�t feel free to report sexual assaults because they often think they�ve done something wrong. Often, they feel guilty about having been in the situation in which the assault occurred, so they choose not to report it. They also feel embarrassed or shame, or that their careers may be negatively impacted so they suffer in silence and try to handle the situation on their own,� Reed said. Within the Sexual Assault Prevention Response Program, our goal is to to provide a safe haven, and foster an environment that encourages more victims to come forward to seek the help they need and deserve. �Sexual assault is something the Department of Defense and the Army take very seriously. Our Army is a values-based institution; one in which one sexual assault is one too many,� said Reed.� Find out more about the Army�s SAPR Program. View the Featured Army Families Online Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention section for more. Disclaimer for External Links The appearance of external hyperlinks does not constitute endorsement by the United States Department of the Army or Department of Defense of the linked Web sites, or the information, products or services contained therein. This site provides external linkages as a convenience to our users, consistent with the Well-Being Liaison Office goal to provide accurate and up-to-date information resources for members of the Army Well-Being constituent communities � Soldiers (Active, National Guard and Reserve), Civilians, Retirees, Veterans and Families. All links are provided consistent with the mission of the Well-Being Liaison Office. Please let us know about existing external links which you believe are inappropriate and about specific additional external links which you believe should be included by clicking on our feedback link or via email at: ArmyFamily.link@hqda.army.mil Lowry Redevelopment Assists Denver's Economic Renaissance To: DEFENSE-PRESS-SERVICE-L@DTIC.MIL By Gerry J. Gilmore American Forces Press Service DENVER, June 21, 2005 - When Lowry Air Force Base, Colo., was selected to be shuttered as part of the 1991 Base Realignment and Closure Act, many recession-battered Denver residents thought the end had come to the "Mile High" city. Lowry, a military training installation with a 50-year history, was providing 7,000 much-needed jobs for Denver-area residents when it was closed in 1994, recalled Thomas O. Markham, executive director of the Lowry Redevelopment Authority that was formed by the cities of Denver and Aurora, Colo., to oversee redevelopment of the former base. At that time, Denver's tax base was eroding as residents were fleeing the city for greener suburban pastures, Markham noted, and the announcement of Lowry's closure just added to the area's malaise. The base had straddled the Denver-Aurora municipal line, with about 89 percent of Lowry located in Denver. Today, after weathering yet another downturn after the 1999-2000 dot-com and telecommunications busts, Denver is enjoying an economic renaissance, Markham said, thanks to residential and commercial redevelopment at Lowry and other city land-reuse projects that have enticed thousands of former suburbanites to move back to the city. Since 1994, residential and commercial redevelopment on the 1,800 acres of the former base has provided 3,000 homes for 6,500 new residents while creating about 6,000 jobs, Markham said, noting that Lowry redevelopment has generated a gross economic benefit of $4 billion for the Denver metropolitan area. "There is life after (BRAC) closure," asserted Markham, who also is president of "An Association of Defense Communities," a group that assists localities affected by BRAC. Other ongoing Denver-area redevelopment at the former Fitzsimons Army Medical Center, which was closed in 1999, and at the former Stapleton International Airport also have helped reenergize the Denver region's economy, Markham said. Redevelopment projects at Lowry, Fitzsimons and Stapleton "really provided the economic engines of construction and jobs," Markham said, noting they helped the Denver area regain vitality after experiencing punishing recessions and urban deterioration. Yet, while Markham described the Lowry redevelopment project as "hugely successful," he also noted that the process was strewn with "major challenges." Once a military installation is given final approval for closure under BRAC, the affected civilian community doesn't "have any choice but to gather around and try to make the best of it," Markham pointed out. Therefore, he said, it's important that the public and private sectors of BRAC-impacted communities quickly arrive at consensus on how to redevelop former federal land. "That is really important, because there's cooperation that's needed throughout," he said. Hilarie Portell, the public relations and marketing director for the Lowry Redevelopment Authority, concurred with Markham, noting that Denver and Aurora government and business officials provided equal representation on the land-use planning boards. "The planning process was very collaborative," she said. Two community colleges now call the former Air Force base home, Portell said. And, with its schools, parks and other amenities, including close proximity to downtown, Lowry today has the priciest residential zip code, 80230, in the Denver metropolitan area, she noted. While the development boasts apartments and condominiums priced for modest wage earners, Portell noted, the Lowry community also has homes costing $1 million. "The construction at Lowry, as well as the redevelopment of the Fitzsimons Army Medical Center, really helped keep the (Denver) metro economy afloat while we were getting through the recession," Portell pointed out. Related Site: Base Realignment and Closure [http://www.dod.mil/brac/] _______________________________________________________ NOTE: View the original version of this web page on DefenseLINK, the official website of the U.S. Department of Defense, at http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Jun2005/20050621_1808.html. Commissaries Plan May Case Lot Sale The sale offers shoppers the chance to buy bulk quantities of their favorite products at savings of up to 50 percent. The exact date and time for the case lot sale will differ from location to location. For more information, visit DeCA's Web site for a complete listing of dates and times for your commissary.
Stamp prices to go up 2-cents in May By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, Associated Press Writer Randolph E. Schmid, Associated Press Writer � Tue Feb 10, 4:21 pm ET WASHINGTON � The post office will get an extra 2-cents worth when you mail a letter starting in May. The U.S. Postal Service announced Tuesday that the price of a first-class stamp will rise to 44 cents on May 11. That gives plenty of time to stock up on Forever Stamps, which will continue to sell at the current 42-cent rate until the increase occurs. They will remain valid in the future regardless of rate hikes. "The Postal Service is not immune to rising costs which are affecting homes and businesses across America today," said Postmaster General John Potter. "Even with the increases, the Postal Service continues to offer some of the lowest postage prices in the world." Postage rates go up annually in May, with the new prices announced in February. The overall change is tied to the rate of inflation in the year before. While the new 44-cent rate covers the first ounce of first-class mail, the price for each additional ounce will remain unchanged at 17-cents. Postal officials estimate the increase will cost the average household $3-a-year. Buffeted by rising costs and declining mail volume, the Postal Service lost $2.8 billion last year and, unless the economy turns around, is headed toward much larger losses this year. The agency could have cited extraordinary circumstances and asked the independent Postal Regulatory Commission for larger increases, but officials felt that would only result in a greater decline in mail volume. The post office has been cutting costs, reducing work hours, and has asked Congress to ease requirements for advance funds for retiree benefits and to allow mail to be delivered five days a week instead of six. Other changes taking effect May 11: � The postcard stamp increases 1-cent to 28 cents. � The first ounce of a large envelope increases 5 cents to 88 cents. � The first ounce of a parcel increases 5 cents to $1.22. � New international postcard and letter prices are, for one ounce, 75 cents to Canada; 79 cents to Mexico; and 98 cents elsewhere. Most Postal Service shipping services prices were adjusted in January and will not change in May. ___ On the Net: U.S. Postal Service: http://www.usps.com At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"
Ansbach sophomore wins DoDEA Europe writing competition Mar 09, 2009 By By Ronald. H. Toland Jr. ANSBACH, Germany -- "How do veterans help the youth of today?" That was the theme of the 2008-2009 Veterans of Foreign Wars' Voice of Democracy, a scholarship contest for high school students in grades nine to 12 that provides more than $3 million in scholarships annually. And scholarship money is just what Luis Figueroa, a sophomore at the Ansbach Middle/High School, was after when he took pen to paper and composed his one-page essay that won first place in all of Europe for the Department of Defense Education System. "It was easy scholarship money -- college is really expensive," said Figueroa. He said his father's service to his country and U.S. history influenced his essay. "I made many references to my dad and what he did, and the history of America -- how it prospered, how veterans helped and how major wars made us an independent nation," said Figueroa. He will now move on to compete for the VFW's grand prize of $30,000. "I won $1,000 for the regional Europe competition and if I win the national level -- in Washington, D.C., April 4 -- then VFW will add to that $29,000," said Figueroa. The first-place winner, who competes with all the first-place VFW department winners, receives a $30,000 scholarship that is paid directly to the recipient's American university, college, or vocational or technical school, according to the VFW website. But Figueroa said that the money is not the only reason to write well. "Writing helps us communicate," said Figueroa. "It expresses ideas, and writing is one of the best ways to express ideas-it is all about imagination, expanding vocabulary, and focusing on and expressing details." It makes for a happy mom, too. "I am very proud of him," said his mother, Elsie. "I know that whatever he wants to do he can do it. He is a good writer and is a very bright student." She said that she urges him to submit for any competitions that can help him win scholarship money for college. "It all helps," she said. "He is the older one of three and we have to save for all of them." Figueroa will compete against 53 other winning entrants when he attends the national competition in Washington. He will then tour Pennsylvania with the VFW and then return to school in Ansbach for two weeks until the family changes duty stations this summer to Fort Stewart, Ga. With two more years of high school, Figueroa said he has time enough to ponder where he wants to attend college. "This is fairly cool--that I can succeed in many things. This is the first time I have entered and won a writing competition," he said. Created in 1947, the Voice of Democracy scholarship program is an audio-essay contest for high school students in grades nine to 12 that annually provides more than $3 million in scholarships. America Supports You: 'Family' Helps Those on Homefront To: DEFENSE-PRESS-SERVICE-L@DTIC.MIL By Sgt. Sara Wood, USA American Forces Press Service WASHINGTON, May 8, 2006 - As the mother of a Marine on his first deployment in 2003, Donna Clemons didn't know where to turn for support. She didn't know anyone else with family members in the military who would understand what she was going through, she said. When Clemons' son went on a second deployment in 2004, she found an online support group for military family members and through that group learned about a luncheon for Marine mothers in Tennessee, her home state. Clemons went to the luncheon and met other parents of Marines. Together, they decided to form a group to share experiences and support during their hard times. "We decided we needed support not only for moms, but for entire families," the Gallatin, Tenn., resident said in an interview. Clemons and the other Marine mothers founded Tennessee Marine Family, a group dedicated to supporting the family members of Marines and other servicemembers. The group started small, but as more people joined they decided to become a nonprofit organization. It now has more than 600 members from all over the United States and Canada, with family members in every branch of service, Clemons said. "We don't exclude anybody," she said. The monthly luncheons Tennessee Marine Family hosts for its members can draw anywhere from 30 to 125 people, and sometimes include speakers, Clemons said. Mostly, though, the lunches are a chance for the family members to be reminded that they are not alone while their loved ones are deployed, she said. "It's just a way for parents and family members to connect," she said. "A lot of the family members are really silent members until their child deploys, and then it's like, panic. I feel that I've been blessed with that in one sense - that I can be of so much support to others." In addition to the luncheons, the members of Tennessee Marine Family conduct package drives four times a year, provide financial assistance to the families of wounded Marines, hold fundraisers, and work with other nonprofit organizations providing help to veterans, Clemons said. "It keeps all of us very busy, very focused, and doesn't give us time to sit home and have that 'pity party,'" she said. "It's a way for all of us to be of service to other people." Tennessee Marine Family has 17 "Gold Star" families - those that have lost loved ones in military service - in its ranks, Clemons said. For these families, she said, the most important thing the group can do is remember their loved ones and the sacrifices they made. "The most painful thing for them is that people will forget, as time goes on," she said. "We do what we can do to make sure that those young men are remembered." At every luncheon, the group has a table dedicated to the fallen servicemembers, and last September they hosted a banquet with the theme "Never Forgotten," Clemons said. Clemons, whose son is on his third tour to Iraq and just re-enlisted, said she sees a busy future for Tennessee Marine Family, as servicemembers continue to deploy. The group has been reaching out to families across the country, encouraging them to form similar groups, she said. Groups like the Tennessee Marine Family will always be important, Clemons said, because they give military families a link to the only people who truly understand their experiences. "When you can say something to somebody about your Marine, and they're just as excited as you because they have a son that's a Marine, it's just so different than the 'average joe,'" she said. "Just knowing that other people understand your highs and your lows means more than anything that we can have as military parents and family members." Related Sites: Tennessee Marine Family [http://www.tnmarinefamily.com/index.htm] America Supports You [http://www.americasupportsyou.mil/] _______________________________________________________ NOTE: View the original version of this web page on DefenseLINK, the official website of the U.S. Department of Defense, at http://www.defenselink.mil/news/May2006/20060508_5059.html. ==================================================== Visit the Defense Department's Web site "America Supports You" at http://www.americasupportsyou.mil, that spotlights what Americans are doing in support of U.S. military men and women serving at home and abroad. ==================================================== Visit the Defense Department's Web site for the latest news and information about America's response to the war against terrorism: "Defend America" at http://www.DefendAmerica.mil. ==================================================== Unsubscribe from or Subscribe to this mailing list: http://www.defenselink.mil/news/subscribe.html ==================================================== The Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program reinforces the Army's commitment to eliminate incidents of sexual assault through a comprehensive policy that centers on awareness and prevention, training and education, victim advocacy, response, reporting, and accountability. Army policy promotes sensitive care and confidential reporting for victims of sexual assault and accountability for those who commit these crimes. The goals of the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program are to- Create a climate that minimizes sexual assault incidents, which impact Army personnel, Army civilians, and family members, and, if an incident should occur, ensure that victims and subjects are treated according to Army policy. Create a climate that encourages victims to report incidents of sexual assault without fear. Establish sexual assault prevention training and awareness programs to educate Soldiers. Ensure sensitive and comprehensive treatment to restore victims' health and well-being. Ensure leaders understand their roles and responsibilities regarding response to sexual assault victims, thoroughly investigate allegations of sexual assault, and take appropriate administrative and disciplinary action. Policy AR 600-20: Army Command Policy www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/AR 600-20_1 Feb 06.pdf Extracts From AR 600-20 AR 600-20 Chapter 8: Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/Chapter 8.doc AR 600-20 Appendix F: The Sexual Assault Review Board www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/Appendix F.doc AR 600-20 Appendix G: Army Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program Sexual Assault Victim Assistance www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/Appendix G.doc AR 600-20 Appendix H: Confidentiality/Restricted Reporting www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/Appendix H.doc AR 600-20 Appendix I: Essential Training Tasks for a Sexual Assault Response Capability www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/Appendix I.doc DoD Guidance, Regulations, and Memorandums DoD Directive 6495.01: Sexual Assault Prevention and Response (SAPR) Program http://www.sapr.mil/contents/references/d649501p.pdf Army Regulation 27-10: Rights of Crime Victims http://www.usapa.army.mil/pdffiles/r27_10.pdf MEDCOM Regulation 40-36: Medical Facility Management of Sexual Assault (Dec 2004) http://www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/R40-36.pdf Army Regulation 350-1: Army Training and Leader Development http://www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/AR 350-1_13 Jan 06.pdf Military Treatment Facility (MTF) Management of Reported Alleged Sexual Assault Cases - Payment For Exams and Kits http://www.sexualassault.army.mil/files/05-010 Sexual Assault Cases - Payment for Exam and Kits1.pdf More at...http://www.sexualassault.army.mil/ Army Goes Live With Web Registry For Child Care A virtual tour of an FCC home in the Web site offers parents, who may be reluctant to visit a series of homes in order to make a selection, pictures and information they need to know to make an important decision. For more information, visit ArmyFCC.com.
The Family Programs Six-Month Calendar of Events 19-20 Feb 09 Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) Summit, Alexandria, VA 17-18 Mar 09 Army Family Readiness Advisory Council (AFRAC), Alexandria, VA 19-25 Apr 09 Volunteer Week 8 May 09 Military Spouse Appreciation Day 10 Jun 09 Army Family Action Plan GOSC Meeting, Alexandria, VA
Military Vanpool is your one stop resource for information on vanpool opportunities at military installations all over the United States. Why Vanpool? � Save money on fuel costs. � Reduce wear and tear on your automobile. � Experience less stress associated with driving. � Vanpooling is excellent for building relationships. � Greatly reduces traffic congestion. � Benefits the environment. � Take advantage of the DOD Mass Transit Subsidy. Find a vanpool at your installation today! http://www.militaryvanpool.com/Services.html The website www.militaryvanpool.com is owned and operated by VPSI Inc. and is not affiliated with the U.S. Military or DOD. Did you know that the Department of Defense provides a tax free transit subsidy for all employees of up to $230 per month that can be used to pay for vanpooling? Click here to view the DOD transity subsidy policy. For the appropriate transity subsidy application, click on one of the links below. DOD inside the National Capital Region http://www.whs.mil/DFD/PSD%20Services/documents/dd2845-October2007_001.pdf Ouside of the National Capital Region - Army http://www.asafm.army.mil/rabp/masstrans/forms/apf/ma.pdf Outside of the National Capital Region - Navy http://www.fmo.navy.mil/docs/tip/2A_DON_TIP_ONCR_Application_1_April_08_fillable.pdf Outside of the National Capital Region - Air Force https://www2.hill.af.mil/rss/VanpoolApplication.pdf
TSP participants seek safe G Fund haven By Stephen Losey - Staff writer Posted : Tuesday Mar 17, 2009 9:48:42 EDT Thrift Savings Plan allocations to the G Fund � the safest of TSP�s five funds � hit record highs during February�s stock market declines. Service members had 53 percent of their savings in the G Fund, and federal civilians in the Federal Employees Retirement System had even more in that fund, 56 percent, the Federal Retirement Thrift Investment Board reported Monday. The G Fund, invested in government securities, typically yields small returns � 0.21 percent in February � but it does not decline. Many TSP participants have sheltered their investments in the G Fund over the last year as the stock market has steadily declined. Nearly $109 billion, or 57 percent, of TSP�s $191 billion balance is now invested in the G Fund. In comparison, 38 percent of TSP funds were invested in the G Fund in February 2008. Participants moved $2 billion to the G Fund from riskier funds in February, and the shift appears to be continuing in March. Tracey Ray, the board�s chief investment officer, said that participants have moved $1.8 billion into the G Fund so far this month. The TSP�s stock-based C, S and I funds� returns each dropped by more than 10 percent last month. �It was another bloody month,� Ray said. �You can�t really sugarcoat this � it was just terrible.� The declining stock market has also dragged down the L Funds, mixes of the TSP�s five stock, bond and government securities funds that vary based on when employees expect to start making withdrawals. The number of participants with L Funds declined in February for the second time in the fund�s four-year history, by about 5,000, leaving 580,600 in those funds. The only other L Fund decline was in November, 8,400 enrollees dropped out. The L Funds� declines lead some to see them as risky. For example, the TSP board wants to automatically enroll new federal employees and service members in the L Funds to encourage them to save for retirement. But last month, the Employee Thrift Advisory Council, a group of union and management association representatives that advises the TSP board, started leaning toward automatic enrollment in the G Fund because of the stock market�s poor performance. So far, March is showing better results, Ray said. As of Monday morning, the C Fund was up 3.1 percent and the S Fund was up 2 percent since the beginning of the month. The I Fund�s international stocks were down slightly.
House committee OKs Roth option for TSP By Stephen Losey - Staff writer Posted : Thursday Mar 19, 2009 14:56:43 EDT The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee approved legislation Wednesday that would create a Roth option for the TSP, which experts say would be a boon to service members who participate in the program. Under a Roth option, participants would pay taxes when they make contributions to their TSP retirement investment accounts. When they retire and withdraw those funds, they would not be taxed. That differs from the current tax-deferred TSP plan, where contributions are taxed at the time of withdrawal. The Federal Retirement Thrift Investment Board, which oversees the TSP program, said service members are most likely to benefit from a Roth option, since their current tax rates are likely to be lower than future tax rates. Civilian employees usually will pay lower taxes in the future, which the board says makes a Roth option less beneficial for them. The legislation also would automatically enroll new federal civilian employees � but not new service members � in the Thrift Savings Plan. Title IV of HR 1256, the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act, originally would have automatically enrolled new service members in TSP. But an amendment attached to the bill by Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., would leave it to the Pentagon to decide if troops should be automatically enrolled. Issa said it might not be fair to include service members since the Defense Department does not match their TSP contributions. Civilians under the Federal Employees Retirement System receive matching contributions from their agencies. The bill would automatically enroll new civilian employees in the government securities-backed G Fund, which does not decline in value and is widely viewed as the safest TSP fund. The bill recommends automatically enrolled employees invest 3 percent of their paychecks in TSP, though it allows the board that oversees the program to set the default percentage anywhere between 2 percent and 5 percent. Another approved Issa amendment would require the Pentagon to study how much matching service members� TSP contributions would cost and whether it would help recruitment and retention. Issa said the time has come to give service members matching TSP contributions, though it could cost billions of dollars. �Our men and women in uniform are treated disproportionately and poorly when it comes to TSP,� Issa said. Rep. Edolphus Towns, D-N.Y., the committee chairman, agreed. �We should provide top-notch retirement benefits to our uniformed military personnel,� Towns said.
