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Title: What Went Wrong
Author: Lizzie
E-mail: [email protected]
Rating: PG13, at a guess. Nothing worse than some frequent strong language.
Content: Angst. Strong language. Implied m/m but that�s to be expected :)
Disclaimer: They're not mine, and unless I wake up one morning having mysteriously become Vince McMahon, I doubt they ever will be. Damn, that's a scary thought.
Distribution: Not that you're likely to want it, but if you do, just tell me where.
Summary: Response to Kristina�s Blink 182-inspired challenge, with Hunter and Kurt. Hunter�s POV.
Notes: I�ve been looking for a good excuse to write Hunter/Kurt for a while now, and I�m a little out of practice so I really hope this doesn�t suck.

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What Went Wrong
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It�s been a week now since you fucked up my life, you, you fucking fuck. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Wanna explain that to me? �Cause I sure as hell have no fucking clue.

You�ve fucked me up. Completely. You�d probably say that I was fucked up before and you�re probably right, but this is just the fucking height of fucked up. Fuck, you�ve got me swearing a fucking blue streak and you know I only do that when I don�t know what else to do. Except you can�t hear me. �Cause right now all I�m doing is thinking to myself. Jesus, this is so fucked up.

And you�re sitting across from me in this diner in some God-forsaken little town in the middle of no-fucking-where and just munching on that salad like you don�t have a care in the world. How can you be so fucking calm when all I�m doing is sitting here and trying resist the urge to gouge your eyes out with my spoon? Just give me one good reason why I shouldn�t. Okay, so I�m bitter. But what did you expect?

Wanna know what makes it worse? Seeing you sitting there next to that jackass Jericho, knowing that the second he gets you back to the hotel he�ll be inside your pants and fucking you senseless. He�ll probably still have that smug-ass grin on his face too, Damnit. You know the one I mean. The one that says he�s got exactly what he wanted and he didn�t have to do a damn thing to get it. The one he gets right before he starts tossing out insults like he�s got someone to impress. I�d love to knock that damn grin off his goddamn face right now, but something tells me you�d all rather I didn�t.

Not that I ever really pay that much attention to what people want. Not anymore. I haven�t this past week. Did you expect me to? I�ve been in a bad fucking mood for a week and three days now, something Austin, both Hardys and your buddy Jericho have found out in the ring, and countless others have had to deal with out of it. But I guess they just figure I�ve gone back to the way I was before. Before what, none of them knows. But you know, don�t you Kurt.

Because you�re the one that changed me. I�m not gonna beat about the bush on this one � you changed me. I was a mean, angry, egotistical son of a bitch, and you changed me. You took all that and made me see that I could be so much more. I don�t even know why you bothered to be quite honest, �cause all I did for the first month you knew me was bitch and moan and make fun of you. Then you finally wore me down enough for me to agree to go to dinner with you, and even after we got together I was pretty much a complete bastard to you.

But slowly, a couple of months in, I started to realise something. I wasn�t being quite the arrogant son of a bitch I�d always been. I was being cheerful. I was tipping more than I�d tipped in my life. I was holding doors. I was smiling for no reason. I was pissed when I realised. I mean, I�ve made a career out of being the guy people hate. And I was being downright nice. Basically because you were nice to me. It was rubbing off. There was no way I wanted that.

The problem with that � I didn�t have a choice. Because I was still with you. And no matter how fucking badly I treated you, you were always there with that fucking cheerful smile and some compliment or other that�d just make me blush like a fucking schoolgirl and forgive you completely. You were always good at doing that. And I guess every time you did it, it wore away a little more of my resolve. I started to love you for it.

You actually made me love you. You wore me down until I had no choice. Everything you did was just so sweet and so nice and so good that in the end I really did have no choice at all. It was probably because you just stuck with me even though I treated you so fucking bad, even though I tried to do exactly the same thing to you as I had to everyone else I'd ever been with, and in spite of all that you made me happy. You actually made me happy. Me. I�m a famously unhappy person and you made me happy.

And the really screwy thing is, I started to like who I was when I was with you. We were good together. We found out we liked a lot of the same things, which for a start was pretty fucking disturbing, but after a while I got to like the idea. Because to be honest being me is pretty fucking lonely. I mean, if I don�t even like me, then unless I'm putting on an act how�s anyone else supposed to like me? But you did.

So what the fuck went wrong? I have no fucking clue.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate Jericho? Probably mentioned it a couple of times. He�s a smug son of a bitch. I can�t believe I ever bothered with him. Although I guess I know that he�s this way because that�s what I did to him, �cause the whole thing�s just a big front. He broke down far too easily to keep me interested. That was part of the old me, the one who�d play on insecurities, break someone down just for the hell of it. I got off on it. Before you.

So he�s kinda disturbing and I really wish I didn�t have to see him this often � he just reminds me of what I did to him and how wrong I know that was now. I don�t even want to have to think about it. And now I am thinking about it, that�s probably why you�re with him, �cause you know he�s not exactly way up on my Christmas list. And the look he�s giving you� God, I want to hit him. But I don�t want to give you the satisfaction of knowing you�ve got to me.

And what the fuck is with this radio station? Are they playing non-stop fucking sap or is it just my twisted imagination? No, I think they are. What the fuck is this, Sinead O-fucking-Connor? Oh God, it is. It�s one twenty and for some reason they think it�s good business in this place to be playing sappy love songs over the speakers? Great. Just� great. Just what I needed.

Except it�s not, is it. Because all it�s doing is reminding me that I�m so much fucking different. Look at me � I�m sitting here in a poor excuse for a restaurant trying not to cry looking at you because there�s a sad song on the radio. Oh God, that�s lame. When did I get so damn sensitive? Hmm, I guess I know the answer to that. Have I told you lately that I hate you?

Well, no. Because I don�t. Except I do. Does that make any sense? Well, no. Argh! You�re making me so fucking crazy and you don�t even know it.

�Kurt, can I talk to you for a minute?�

You frown then put down your fork and nod. �Sure�. But you don�t move.

�Uh, outside?� You nod again, a faint smile on your lips as Benoit shuffles out of the booth to let you out and Jericho gives you a vaguely concerned look from behind. I shove my dessert over to Jeff Hardy who gives me a huge beaming grin and tugs it over between him and his brother. And we step outside, out of the place with its depressingly cheerful staff and its depressingly depressing love songs. I don�t even know what we were doing there. There must�ve been ten or fifteen better places to eat. But no, the Hardys wanted homemade pie.

�So, what did you want to talk about?� you ask, straightening out your already perfectly crease-free shirt. And suddenly I have no idea what I wanted to say. Maybe I just wanted to get you out of there and away from Jericho. But I can almost feel him watching us from the window. Oh God, maybe this was a bad idea.

�I, uh� Kurt, I� Are you really fucking Jericho?�

You smile and cast a glance back toward the diner. �Yes, I am, but that�s not really the question you wanted to ask, is it?�

I shake my head. �No�.

�So ask me�.

�Kurt, why did you leave me?�

Oh God, you�re smiling again. How could you be smiling? What the hell is wrong with you?

�Because� You love me, don�t you?�

I swallow, hard. �Yeah. Yeah, Kurt, I do�.

�Then I�ve got what I wanted�.

�What you wanted?� I�m trying to keep my voice down but there are people walking past staring at us and I can�t say I care. �What the fuck are you talking about?�

You frown, tilt your head and look at me strangely. �Oh c�mon Hunter, you don�t seriously think I liked you, do you? What would a guy like me be doing with someone like you?�

�What? Kurt, what are you saying? You�ve fucked up my whole fucking life and you didn�t even want to be with me?�

You smile. But that�s not your smile. Oh God, that�s Jericho�s smile.

�You got what you deserved, Hunter�, you say with a nod. And you�re gone. You�re walking back inside, back to him.

And now I get it. Now I know what went wrong. This was supposed to be forever, supposed to be the love of my life. I really thought this was it, but I guess I was wrong. Because this was never about you and me. This was always about you and him. And now he�s finally managed to fuck me the way I fucked him. All I can do is bury my head in my hands a try not to cry, because I know you�re right. I do deserve it.

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End
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