By Nous

                         August 20, 2003

The only thing I like more than rain is the threat of rain.  When the
thunder rolls from somewhere out there to my small home in the middle
of nowhere, I feel warm inside.  Sometimes, I stand outside with arms
stretched out and my eyes closed and I inhale the energy.  It becomes
me.
I stare at my hands and wonder if this is all a dream, and if it is,
should I wake up?  Often I find myself stirred from my sleep in the
middle of the night wondering if the previous day was not a dream.  I
stare at the ceiling fan going around and around, and I see myself in
that.  The Greeks believed in the Wheel of Fortune.  And I believe in
nothing.  I believe in forever when I see it, and I see forever in my
ceiling fan, myself, spinning nonstop.
To believe in nothing and forever simultaneously is no contradiction.
It is not conflicting when one believes that nothingness is forever,
permanent, nonstop and immutable, always and for all time.  It is not
a contradiction when one believes that forever is nothingness.
The Wheel of Fortune spins.  The ceiling fan goes on and on. I sit in
the dark and think about that which has gone.  Staring at the ceiling
fan, whirring in the dark.  The Wheel of Fortune sings this sorrowful
song.
Forever is something that does not exist until one labels it.  Nothing
lasts forever, and so we say that forever is a real thing, because how
else could something lie in that state of being?
The only thing I like more than rain is the threat of rain.
When it comes, all is dispelled.