The Process of Love

The feeling is disconnection.
You cant do anything but think all day. You think about all the people you know. You think about people that dont know you, but you wish you knew. You think about people that you have seen walking by. You start to turn them over in your mind and find the flaws. But mostly you find those things which you always found attractive about the person. You find their beauty. And when you do that, the disconnection ends.

The feeling is distraction.
You now want to live a seemingly normal life, and you accept the fact that the world that you live in is all around you and you cant escape. You live with people and you even interact with them if it comes to that. You do your work without thinking. You do all things that come natural, but nothing out of the ordinary. Because all you have on your mind is beauty. And you cant ignore the thoughts of it, but you can hide them behind instinct.
Right foot, left foot - down the hall.
Lunch at 12, the plate is hot.
Type in figures for your boss.
Heading home at 8 o ' clock.

The feeling is vibration.
You shake compulsively and you cant sit still. You smile involuntarily. There is a cold feeling in your chest that is fear and anxiety and happiness. You pace back and forth, never knowing when the time is right. You know they will be coming soon and that is all you know. You picture them. Such beauty. You smile again. To have such beauty be your own. The thought brings more compulsive shaking.

The feeling is compassion.
You stare into the face of the one that you have obsessed over since you laid eyes on them. The one you know you love. The one with the beauty that you cant ignore. The one who completes you. The one who relieves the anxiety and fear and leaves the happiness for you to hold. The one whose face you see all day in your thoughts and all night in your dreams. The one you knew you couldnt have until now. Until you show that special person of the greatest beauty that you love them. Until you hold them in a wonderful embrace you have been dying to feel. Until you finish raping them.

And then the feeling is disconnection.