By Nous

                        September 29, 2k2

My "Building Healthy Relationships" class is something of a joke. It's,
in essence, a channel for the voices of demagogues looking to collect,
if not your mind, then your heart through overused new age jargon. The
whole "accept yourself and others will accept you as well", self-esteem
for dummies class. The leaders (yes, we call them leaders) are those
types that, while teaching the truths of the Qu'ran to college students
as a career, are also yoga instructors on the side. And then there's 
this class.  Building Healthy Relationships.  
What's funny about these classes, is it seems that those with already
normal, healthy relationships are the ones that attend.
The first part of the class, led by Brooke, a nice woman who's face is
set in a permanent smile and has hands like a carpenter, is about 
defining yourself by using the opinions of those around you regarding
your place in society, and the way you see yourself within.  It is
reminiscent of my kindergarten class, and the leaders (mainly Brooke)
speak to those attending the class the way an adult would speak to a 
child.  
"We are all children - growing, changing."  Could that smile be any 
more prominent?  I feel like I'm sinking into her teeth.  
We all wear name tags and there's much to be said for that.  For me, 
though, you can tell what a person will be like by the way they sign
their name (which is an ironic thing to say after having been lectured
on stereotypes).  
We were given paper bags.  We were to cut pictures out of magazines
and paste them onto the outer part of the bag.  The pictures on the
outside were supposed to reflect the way others saw you.  You did the
same with the inside (the inside being the way you saw yourself).
The group was then seperated into the "girls section" and the "guys 
section".  I thought this was odd, considering that the leaders were 
all openly homosexual.  In fact, most of the attendees were either 
bisexual or tough guy athletes.  This made for interesting viewing
when, as a break, everyone went to a gym and played basketball. Nothing
adds tension to a homoerotic activity like a game of "bisexuals" versus
"straights".  
Having been denied the opportunity to play foosball, the only sport I 
can play without getting angry, I sat down at a table of girls (yes,
bisexuals) as they ate pretzels (some eating salads)  and talked about 
their bags.  I asked one if I could see what was in her bag, since she
was being quiet and, I assumed, felt like an outcast.  She looked at me
and drew back.  "What will you give me if I let you?" 
I was caught off-guard.  "Uh...a dollar..?"
She agreed and I could only give her the money and pretend to really be
interested at the contents of the bag.  
I learned nothing, but it's the type of nothing one can apply to 
everyday life and achieve results.  It's Nothing.  The almighty Nothing
that is part of the human existence. That kind of "tips for tricking 
people into liking you" nothing.
Thank you leaders.  You've taught me what it means to be human.