Porlock infestations By Cedric Porlocks are shaggy creatures that walk on two cloven-hoofed feet and feeds on grass, standing around two feet high when fully grown. Its small arms end in four fingers. These creatures guard horses and are often hiding in stables. Recently a sudden 'outbreak' of these creatures has almost flooded the stables of southern Ireland. Muggle farmers have been sighting Porlocks for a few weeks now and reports tell us that the sightings are not about to stop. So massive is the number of Porlocks now that the Ministry has been forced to act fast and send teams of Obliviators to modify the memories of some of the farmers and come up with a plausible explanation for the muggles, something which at the beginning seemed unimportant to the MOM. A second unit has been dispatched to find the source of this sudden expansion in Porlock numbers. Yesterday, several barrels of whiskey was found in a small lake where there also was a high number of Porlocks (a new Porlock-finder-device has been invented in all hast to speed up the investigations). This has lead the Chief of investigation, Charles Wannaclue, to suspect the whiskey as the cause of the many Porlocks. "It seems that whiskey is very much to the liking of these beasts," Mr. Wannaclue told a reporter with a smile. "However we do not se many Porlocks near the lake anymore so maybe they have drunk all of it by now�if this is indeed the answer to the riddle." Read more about the Porlock's problem in the next edition of the Witch Weekly. |
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