This was based on a convo a friend and I had one day. Ain't it scary?
(Raven is sitting in the ramble room, reading "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" No one else is around because she kicked them all out so she could read in peace)
Raven: Aww... Bill Weasley sounds like such a hottie... EEE! They just mentioned Oliver Wood! *20 minutes pass* Woo! Lupin was mentioned!
(45 minutes pass and she's still alone and reading)
Raven: No! Not Cedric! I liked him... he was hot too... *grabs some kleenex and dabs her eyes* First Oliver Wood graduates, then Lupin leaves, now Cedric...
at least I still have Bill Weasley... who's hardly ever mentioned... damnit...
(Just then there's a knock at the front door)
Raven: Who the hell...? They have some nerve to disturb my reading. *gets up mumbling and heads to the door*
(She opens the door and there stands a young man, in his early 20's, dressed in decently baggy jeans, and a poofy winter coat with a button pinned on that says "I Heart Waffles")
Raven: Umm... hi... may I help you? Dare I ask what the Waffle thing is about?
Waffle Guy: You are waffles perhaps?
Raven: *blink blink*
Waffle Guy: Waffles is us all... metaphorically speaking. We the people are Waffles.
Raven: Did Sephiroth put you up to this?
Waffle Guy: I don't know any Sephiroths... But watch what I say... Waffles is the wave of the future.
Raven: Yeah... I think I left something in the uhh oven... o_o *starts to leave*
Waffle Guy: Waffles... what we all are... Are you Waffles? Am I Waffles? Are we Waffles?
Raven: Umm... Waffle boy, where are you from?
Waffle Guy: North Carolina. Why?
Raven: Remind me not to go there... and remind me not to drink the water... I think there's
something in it...
Waffle Guy: Yes... but it will flow through the rivers of the states and come into Canada... and soon you shall sip the water of truth... then your deluded soul shall see Waffles. AND YOU WILL SEE THE TRUTH!!!!
Raven: Dude, I know a good therapist that could help you...
Waffle Guy: Are you Waffles? Ask yourself this...
Raven: *deciding to have some fun with the crazy* I'm not Waffles... I'm... Pancakes.
Raven: o_o;; Oops... Man, I attract the weirdos...
Waffle Guy: You should come to Waffles. See the light my child.
Raven: And what exactly will Waffles offer me? Or something like that...
Waffle Guy: *thinks a minute* Eternal life amongst food things... with syrup. ^_^
Raven: hmm... enticing... But... what kind of syrup? Some of it is just too rich for me.
Waffle Guy: *panicking* Lemme look in the "Waffles Worship" Handbook... o_o; *runs to his car*
Raven: After waiting a couple minutes* Must be a big handbook... Oh well. *closes the door and goes back to her reading*
(20 minutes later there's a knock at the door again)
Raven: So better not be Waffle boy again...
(She opens the door and finds Waffle Guy standing there)
Raven: Now what? Did you find my answers? Want to harass me some more?
Waffle Guy: Umm... no... just wanted to say sorry.
Raven: Sorry? For what? Disturbing my reading? Interrupting the only quiet time I get around here? Or pushing a strange beyond belief religion on me?
Waffle Guy: *blinks* Umm... mostly just the fake cult thing that I was trying to push on you to make you join so I could take your money and run... but I guess sorry for the other things too.
Raven: At least you're an honest money grubbing con-artist...
Waffle Guy: So does that put me back in your good books again?
Raven: Were you ever in my good books?
Waffle Guy: I dunno... I'd like to be. *smile smile*
Raven: Uh huh... most guys do. Especially when they need something...
Waffle Guy: I'm not trying to think of a new con to get money from you. I just think you're hot. So, wanna hook up?
Raven: Umm... no.
Waffle Guy: *blink blink* Why not?
Raven: I don't even know your name. Besides, I'm seeing a total hottie that could kick your ass in a heart beat if he knew you were hitting on me.
Waffle Guy: That's what all girls say when they're interested in a guy and they wanna see their reaction.
Raven: Umm... usually, yes. But in this case, it's true.
(As luck would have it, Dauragon, Sephiroth, Rufus, Reno, Irvine, and Kou walk up the street and up her driveway)
Raven: Speak of the devil... Waffle guy, I'd like you to meet my guys that would do anything for me if I was in danger of any sort. Well, except Sephiroth. He's not always in a helpful mood.
Waffle Guy: *shaking a bit* Uhh... yeah... well... here's my number incase you change your mind... *he runs off*
Raven: Freak.
Reno: Was that guy harassing you, Raven?
Raven: Just a little. Nothing I couldn't handle.
Dauragon: He must die.
Raven: No no. It's ok. He's gone now.
Irvine: Didn't he give you his number?
Raven: Yeah... not like I'm gonna call him. I have you guys.
Dauragon: Tonight, he dies.
Raven: Daurie!
Dauragon: *cringes* Do not call me that.
Raven: You didn't seem to mind last night...
Dauragon: ...That was different...
Kou: *snickering* Daurie...
Dauragon: Call me that again, and you will die.
Raven: Dauragon C Mikado! I will not have you going around threatening all the hotties!
Sephiroth: Finally. Someone else who's getting that wonderful speech. So much better to be on the outskirts of it.
Raven: *finally finished her ranting* I think you need to come upstairs with me where we can finish this convo in private.
Dauragon: What are we waiting for then? *grabs her and drags her upstairs*
Reno: Someone's looking forward to getting another long lecture...
Rufus: *smacks his forehead* You truly are an idiot.
Reno: What?
Irvine: Dude, think about it... she and her new hottie of the moment went upstairs... where her bedroom is... where the door locks for privacy... I
don't' expect to see until tomorrow.
Reno: Oh... *it sinks in* OH! Lucky bastard... I do something stupid and I get a death threat or she makes me sit in jail all night...
Rufus: Sadly, she always feels bad and bails you out... with my money! Hey!
Reno: Yeah, thanks, Rufus. I owe ya. *he, Irvine, and Kou walk inside*
Rufus: Lousy good for nothing... *continues cursing out Reno and walks inside too*
Sephiroth: *picks up the Waffles pamphlet that Waffle guy dropped on his way out* Hmm... Waffles... sounds interesting... I think I'll give them a call...
