The Great Debate Crystal and I wrote this one together. It was inspired from a convo we had a couple days ago about Trowa and Van.
(In the Ramble room One week after the Edmonton mall disaster.... Van is sitting with Crystal reading to her. Reno and Irvine as usual are at the bar while Rufus stands near by muttering something about Turks drinking on duty. Squall is twitching in the corner with Laguna rambling on to him. Raven and Trowa had just walked into the room)
Van: Next is Brilliant, adjective Date: circa 1681
1 : very bright : GLITTERING 2 a : STRIKING, DISTINCTIVE b : distinguished by unusual mental keenness or alertness
Crystal: Wow Van, that's so amazing... Don't stop reading now.
Trowa and Raven: *Blink Blink*
Raven: What the hell are they doing?
Irvine: Better not to ask. Been reading that dictionary before we got here.
Reno: It's almost creepy.
Raven: Sorry I asked.
Trowa: You won't make me do that will you?
Raven: No, I prefer old Treize speeches....Life is like an endless waltz.. *_*
Trowa: -_-;;
Reno: Umm Raven not to interrupt your drooling but you might want to go save Squall. Laguna's starting to annoy me and I'm a carefree drunk.
Rufus: *Muttering* A carefree drunk who is not going to get paid this week.
Irvine: Nah, don't bother I think he's doing fine. No worries..... A little longer and his sanity will be gone and I can take his place as number one Seed!!
Everyone: *Blink Blink*
Irvine: Did I say that last part out loud? >.>;
Raven: Ooookay let's go see Squally.
*Raven walks over to Squall and Laguna who are sitting on the couch on the other side of the room*
Laguna: So anyway as I was saying son, after that sorceress was in space they made me the President of Esthar. It really is a great job, but I'd give up to know you.
Squall: Whatever... *Sees Raven and jumps for her*
Raven: Nice to see you too Squally.
Laguna: Hey hey hey Raven! I don't know if Squall told you yet, but not only am I his father but I'm also the President of Esthar!
Raven: *Phony smile* Really I had no idea....Wow look at the time don't you have to get back and be a president somewhere or something.
Laguna: *Looks at watch* Oh no, Ward and Kiros were here to pick me up and hour ago but Squall and I were having so much fun I didn't notice. *Squall shudders* Well until next week son.*Laguna grabs Squall and tries to hug him as Squall tries to dodge him* Love you.
Squall: Whatever...
(Laguna leaves)
Squall: He's finally gone! *Swings gunblade around in triumph*
Raven: You might not want to celebrate so soon Squally.
Squall: He's not back is he...
Rinoa: *runs up to Squall* Hiya, How'd your visit with Laguna go?
Squall: -_-;;
Rinoa: Guess what.
Reno: You're moving away?
Crystal: You realized Angelo is smarter than you?
Raven: You learned that spandex is sooo last season?
Squall: ........
Rinoa: You're all wrong sillies. I just signed Squall up for the Bishounen contest. He's going to win for sure.
Squall: Someone shoot me now....
Irvine: Just a second there buddy. Just let me get the safety off.
Raven: Irvy no! Bad Irvine Bad!
Irvine: -_-;
Reno: Ha Ha Man, you've been told....
Irvine: I was just trying to be helpful.
Rufus: With friends like you, Squall doesn't need enemies.
Raven: What were you saying about a Bishounen contest Rhino?
Rinoa: You actually want to know? This is so exciting. You just sign up your
Bishounen and then you get all the stuff you need know for the contest tomorrow. You even win money....Wait...
You're not going to enter that Trowa person in are you? Not that it matters my Squall is way more Kawaii.
Squall: *puts his hand to his head*
Raven: Ha ha ha. I can prove once and for all that mine is by far the hottest Bishounen. *Evil Laughter*
Trowa: Honey, It's not whether I win or lose, it only matters what you think.
Raven: Yeah yeah whatever. I have to go sign you up.
Trowa: But But..
Irvine: Give it up man. You'll never win against her.
Crystal: If you sign up Trowa I'm signing up my Van Fanel.
*Crystal and Raven leave to sign up for the Bishounen contest*
Van: How Ironic the next word in the dictionary is Competition...
Everyone: *Sweatdrops*
*Twenty Minutes Later*
*Crystal And Raven enter the Ramble room arguing. Irvine and Reno are still there drinking. Rufus has joined them in their drinking because he just got his credit card bill from the Mall trip. >.<*
Raven: I don't know what you're thinking signing up it's a waste of time. Trowa will win hands down.
Crystal: You wish. Trowa is nothing next to Van.
*Irvine and Reno spin around to watch them*
Irvine: This could get good.
Reno: mmmm hhhmmmm ^_~
Crystal: Mine has cute floppy hair, it's so Bishounen quality.
Raven: Trowa has an original spiked hair.
Crystal: Yeah, That could poke someone's eye out.
Raven: Tch. At least mine doesn't need a sword to fight.
Crystal: No instead he uses a machine gun. Big improvement there.
Raven: Hey he can use that little army knife!
Crystal: It's just a miniature sword. Foo!
Irvine: We should charge money for this.
Reno: We could probably make enough for a nights worth of drinking! *High fives Irvine*
Irvine: But that would mean we'd have to stop drinking now and work.
Reno: Screw that idea then.
Crystal: Mine has colour in his wardrobe.
Raven: Look at his shirt it's six sizes to big and what size are his pants XS
Crystal: What are you talking about? Trowa has spandex pants too. And as for Van's shirt would you want to buy an expensive shirt if
every time your wings came out it gets torn to shreds?
Raven: At least I can go out into public with mine. I don't have to hide wings.
Crystal: *Blink Blink* Have you never seen Escaflowne? It's not like his wings are out all the time and he has to hide them under a trench coat.
Raven: Well mine doesn't have an evil older brother.
Crystal: But he's cute.
Raven: ahhh shoot. He is and he's evil too. Damn.
Irvine: Isn't he the one with the Mullet?
Raven: Shush you. I could drug him so he passes out and chop the Mullet off.
Reno: She makes a point.
Rufus: What is the point to any of this. I'm the president of Shinra why don't they fight over me?
Crystal: Hey. I thought I told you to cut out that I'm president thing. Didn't you see Laguna earlier? Is that what you want?
Rufus: *Shudders*
Raven: Ha! I got a good one. Trowa's nimble and acrobatic.
Crystal: So, Van can fly. He's angelic.
Raven: Trowa has a better body.
Crystal: Van's skinny too.
Raven: Too skinny. Trowa has muscle Van is scrawny.
Crystal: Well mine has a better Mecha. His is a guymelaf
Raven: Trowa has a Gundam.
Crystal: He has heavy arms.... He runs out of ammo and he's a sitting target.
Raven: At least it doesn't have a pointless cape.
Crystal: Does it matter? It can turn into a dragon.
Raven: umm... So....Trowa's can do flips and in Endless waltz it has a cool clown mask.
Crystal: You don't even like Clowns.
Raven: There is an exception to every rule!!
Irvine: Pass the popcorn Reno.
Reno: Sure thing. You know I say five more minutes we have an all out cat fight.
Irvine: Have that video camera ready.
Reno: Oh Yeah! Hey Rufus want to get in on this.
Rufus: Where's Rude when I need him?
Crystal: At least I won't be thrown in jail for dating Van. Can you say jailbait?
Raven: Hey, He only has to be over 16.
Crystal: Yeah Raven, but how old is he.
Raven: ummm..*mumbles some jumbled number*
Crystal: Uh huh.
Raven: Oh shut up! Mine gets sympathy points for having a tortured past.
Crystal: So Mine's a king. King Van Fanel of Fanelia.
Raven: Ummmm....Damn! Mine doesn't have a name.
Crystal: Awww Nanashi
*Moment silence. Irvine and Reno are on the edge of their stools in
anticipation*
Crystal: Van's still better.
Raven: Trowa has the better voice.
Crystal: That's cheap. They have the same voice.
Raven: No they don't Trowa's is sexier!
Crystal: Mine Smiles and laughs more!
Raven: That means it's overdone. When Trowa does it's an enjoyable treat.
Crystal: Isn't he a clown, isn't he supposed to bring merriment to others.
Raven: He's tortured and has knives thrown at him. Would you be smiling?
Crystal: Maybe King Van can invite your clown Trowa to his court for entertainment.
Raven: That's it. You goin' Down!
*Irvine and Reno High five. Raven Leaps at Crystal who tries to dodge. They fall over and roll around on the floor trying to make the other declare their Bishounen the winner*
Irvine: This is Great!
Rufus: Maybe I will have some popcorn.
Reno: Yeah! You go girls!
Raven: Say it Crystal! Trowa's the Best!
Crystal: Never! Van's the better!
*Trowa and Van walk in*
Van: What's going on here?
*Trowa Goes all flippy like and ends by Raven and tries to pull her off*
Raven: Let me at her! Where's my deathscythe?
*Van Spreads his wings and uses them to shield Crystal as he pulls her away from Raven on the war path*
Crystal: Oh Van you saved me!....Oh no I just sounded like Hitomi....
Reno: What are you two doing? You're stopping a good show.
Irvine: Yeah dudes. We would have sent you a copy.
Rufus: They probably would have charged you.
Reno: Like you wouldn't? You took the cost for our Turk outfits out of our first paycheck.
Rufus: *Shrugs*
Trowa: Is this what you two do when we are not here?
Van: It's almost flattering in a weird twisted sort of way.
Trowa: But it is still awful, you shouldn't have to resort to violence over us. We do not fight over which one of you are better. I know Raven is the better, and so does Van.
Van and Crystal: What?
Raven: Awww, Trowa. You're so right. We don't need to argue the judges will decide for us.
Trowa: umm Raven. I think you missed the point...
Raven: Come on let us go get ready for tomorrow.
*Next Day at the Bishounen contest! Backstage everyone is primping their Bishounen. Hairspray,
lint brushes... Squall, Van and Trowa are there with Rinoa, Crystal and Raven fussing over them. Quistis, Selphie and Tifa have also showed up for "Moral" support*
Raven: I didn't expect to see you three here.
Selphie: You know us, were just here to cheer on... *Turns head to watch Yue walk by* I mean we've come to support... *Drools as Trunks practices his sword techniques* To support... Oh hell I give up we're here to drool over the guys... Hey Eagle wait for me.*Tifa Quistis and Selphie run over to the other Bishounen.*
Rinoa: Well that was nice of them to come out and support my Squall.
Crystal: Are you deaf or just stupid? They're here to drool the other guys. They couldn't care less about us.
Rinoa: ooohhh. Well it was nice of them to come out anyway.
Squall and Crystal: -_-;;;
*three announcers appear on stage*
Trowa: Isn't that... No it can't be... Quatre, Heero and Wufei? What are they doing here?
Crystal: What? this is an outrage. Raven you had Trowa invite his three gundam buddies to be announcers so that they can sway the judges and Trowa can win. Injustice...Curse you Wufei!
Raven: I did no such thing. Trowa doesn't need any help. I can't help it who the announcers are.
Quatre: Hi everybody *Waves* Welcome to the 1st-
Wufei: -And hopefully last.
Quatre: Wufei! Welcome to the first annual Bishounen contest!! *cheers*
Heero: *with no emotion* and we are all excited to be here. The competition looks fierce.
Wufei: you mean the competition is weak! I refused to enter because it would be disgraceful for me to enter such a weak competition.
Crystal: Doesn't he mean no one would sign him up.
Everyone backstage: *snickers*
Quatre: Anyway first up will be one of my good friends. Trowa!! *Cheers*
Trowa: -_-;
*After two hours of intense competition the judges have decided on their winner.*
Quatre: Wow! wasn't that talent competition amazing. I never knew So many people knew so much hurtful magic and fighting skills.
Wufei: *bandaging up his arm* They are still weak. And just for clarification marks were taken off for attacking the announcers.
All the Bishounen competitors: Damn!
Heero: *still no emotion* The suspense is killing me. May we please give all the contestants a round of applause before opening the envelope *Everyone but Heero and Wufei clap*
Quatre: *Opens envelope* Wow! This is sooo exciting! Let me see here in third place is *Drum
roll out of nowhere* Darien from Sailor Moon!
Crystal: Yeah. We still have a chance Van. You were way better than Darien. All he did was throw roses around and give out cheesy advice.
Wufei: In second place, as if it matters because this is stupid *Drum
roll out of nowhere* Touya/Tory from Card Captors.
Heero: *no emotions* the suspense is so thick you would need my Beam Cannon to blast through it.
Raven: Was that Heero's attempt at Humour?
Trowa: Yeah, he's been trying to be more human.
Heero: And the winner is *Drum roll out of nowhere* Lantis from Magic Knights. *Throws Lantis the Trophy* Mission Comp-
Crystal: Hey! What the hell is this! They're all the same guy. You couldn't tell them apart if they wore name tags. They're all tall, with
black hair and all they do in life is protect people. You could substitute one for the other and nobody would know. They should be disqualified or something!
Judges: *Blink, Nod, hand up a new envelope*
Crystal: Ha. Now Van should win.
Heero: *Grabs Trophy back from Lantis* It seems we now have a new top three. Quatre.
Lantis, Tory and Darien: We were so close *Sulk back stage*
Quatre: Alright! Well that was an upset no one saw coming. Well here are the new top three winners. In third place *Drum
roll out of nowhere* is Zechs! from Gundam Wing! *Claps*
Wufei: Once again in second place in this weak
competition is *Drum roll out of nowhere* WTF is with this weak drum roll out of nowhere? Couldn't they hire a drummer? Cheap Weak people. Anyway second place is Yue From Card Captors.
Crystal: Alright Van are you ready to win? It's a done deal. All Yue did was fly around and use magic while you... flew around, wielded a sword and piloted your Guymelaf. Plus you're a King.
Van: I'm starting to feel used.
Squall: Get used to it...
Heero: *No emotion* Once again we have arrived at first place and hopefully there will be no problems. In first place is *No drum roll* Where's my Drum roll? *A very faint drum roll out of nowhere* Is Brock from Pokemon! *Hands Brock the Trophy* Mission *shoots Crystal the Yuy death glare* Complete.
Crystal: O_O
Raven: What! Open your eyes judges! He has no eyes! *Looks over at the judges table. They are all Officer Jennys and Nurse Joys.* What! This was rigged. They all know each other! This wasn't a competition it was Injustice!! Arrggh I Hate Wufei and his two word Vocabulary.
Trowa: Ummm... Calm down, Honey. It's not rigged. Remember Brock didn't even place before the three look-a-likes were disqualified.
Raven: Whatever...
Squall: My Line...
Crystal: Well at least Van didn't lose to Trowa!
Raven: yeah... He lost to Brock.
Everyone: -_-;;;
The End
