(It's 2 weeks later, {one week after Raven's trip to Costa De Sol with Trowa for all those who can't keep track of time} Reno, Irvine, Seph, Seifer, Rufus, Zell, Crystal, Vincent, Squall, and Rinoa are all lounging in the den when Raven bursts in with Rude right behind her carrying four huge bags. Rude drops the bags with a heavy thud, and flops to the floor)
Raven: Rude! I told you to be careful with my luggage! You should be happy I'm a light packer.
Rude: ...
Raven: *looks around the room* Why aren't you guys packed yet? We leave in an hour!
Seph: Woman, what are you on about?
Raven: Hello! The trip to the Edmonton Mall I told you we were all going on. You know, the one I told you about three weeks ago?
Reno: Rave, that trip is on Friday, it's only Tuesday.
Rufus: You lazy drunk! It is Friday!
Reno: Oh, that sucks. What happened to Wednesday and Thursday?
Seph: You were probably passed out in some alley...
Seifer: Who all's going on this little outing?
Raven: Little outing? It's gonna take three days by car to get there, then another three days to do the mall. It's hardy little.
Crystal: Three days in a mall!? Will you ever end this torture you keep inflicting on me?
Raven: Keep complaining and see what happens...
Seph: So what half-wits and I stuck in a vehicle with for three days?
Raven: Who said you were going?
Seph: I should be so lucky if I wasn't... But you seem to drag me everywhere with you.
Raven: You're right. But I know you don't mind, Sephy-sama. ^_^
Irvine: Hey, are those Gundam jerks coming?
Rufus: *still bitter* Of course they're coming... they're friends of Raven's boyfriend, Trowa.
Irvine and Reno: Woo... can't wait...
Raven: Are we done chatting? Good. Now go get packed.
Vincent: Raven, who all are going? This might help us on who should pack.
Raven: Smart, as always, Vinnie. Ok. Reno, Irvine, Rufus, Sephy, Squall, Annoyia, Zell, Crystal, Seifer, Rude, Vincent, Trowa, Heero, and... Wufei. Duo, Zechs, and Treize couldn't make it. *pouts*
Rinoa: You invited me? Are you feeling ok?
Raven: I only invited you because for some odd reason Squall likes having you around and Crys and I like having Squall around.
Rinoa: You two are trying to move in on my man! You're as bad as Quistis! Squall, don't you have anything to say about this?
Squall: Whatever...
Zell: *jumping up and down* See, Seifer! You were wrong! She has to like me or I wouldn't be going.
Raven: Actually... you're coming because I don't trust you enough to leave you alone for a week and if you didn't come, you'd whine how Squall left you behind. And I really don't want to hear your voice more than I have to.
Seifer: Look who's wrong now, Chicken-wuss.
Zell: What did you say? *flips out*
Crys: Oh shut up. You know you are one. You need Squall with you 24/7 or you get worried and/or scared.
Zell: Squall! Did you hear what she said to me?
Squall: ...
Crystal: *rolls her eyes* Oh brother... Anyway, Raven,
there's 15 of us going...
Raven: Shades... the van only fits 12... Hmm... Zell, Seifer, and...
Zell: What?! I thought... but your reasons...
Seifer: Why do I get left behind?
Raven: Zell, I told you, I don't like you. So no loss, whatever the reasons. And Seifer, I'm sorry, but you can beat on Zell whenever he gets out of control while I'm gone.
Seifer: Sweet!
Vincent: Raven, I'll volunteer myself to stay behind. I don't think people will react kindly towards my shame. *glances at his claw*
Raven: *hugs Vincent* You're so sweet, thank you. I'll buy you something special. Rude! Add it to my shopping list!
Rude: Yes, Raven... *looks over to Reno* She's as bad as Rufus, man.
Reno: *shrugs* I don't see it, man.
Rude: You wouldn't...
Rufus: Hey... when did she get so much control over my Turks?
Raven: You said I could use them whenever I wanted.
Rufus: And when did this alleged verbal agreement take place?
Raven: *shrugs* About two months ago when you were staying late at the office and I-
Rufus: Oh right! I forgot about that! o_o;
Raven: You forgot about what I did with-
Rufus: NO! Never! I mean I forgot about what I may or may not have promised that night.
Raven: You'd be surprised at what you gave me.
Rufus: -_-;;
(Everyone just stares at the two)
Crys and Seph: You slut.
Raven: *blinks* eheheh... umm... Let's get packing!
(47 minutes later everyone is packed and loaded in the van. Everyone has two bags except Raven who has four which Rude was forced to carry, plus his own. They were seated as follows: In the back row: Rude, Squall, Rinoa, Wufei, the middle row: Crystal, Rufus, Heero, in the front row: Trowa, Raven. Sephiroth, in the passenger seat is Irvine, and driving is Reno! o_o!! We drew straws...)
Seph: Why is the drunk driving? Do you wish us dead, woman?
Raven: Not my fault he drew the long straw... Besides, I'm sure
he's a great driver. Especially since he's a top notch Turk.
Seph: And she's back to her happy little delusional world...
Rufus: Top notch? Only when he feels like it... lazy good for nothing...
Reno: Hey! I can hear you!
Rufus: So?
Reno: Do you want me to turn this van around and head home?
Irvine: Uhh... we haven't even left the driveway yet, man.
Reno: ...I knew that...
Seph: If we make it to Edmonton in one piece, I'll be surprised...
Wufei: This is an injustice! I should be driving! Look at how well I piloted Nataku.
Raven: You complained that you were too weak to pilot Nataku for half the show! And I don't like you, therefore you don't get a say in who drives!
Trowa: You need to calm down. I don't want you to get all stressed out and ruin your trip to the mall.
Raven: *hugs Trowa tightly* You're always thinking of my well being. I love you, Trowie.
Seph: Oh, gag me.
Raven: *thwaps Seph* Shush you!
Seph: Ow! Woman, that hurt!
Wufei: haha! You are weak if the weak woman hurt you.
Seph: I am not weak! I am the Planet! She just caught me off guard!
Crystal: This is going to be a long trip... and we
haven't even left yet...
Raven: Reno-chan, I think we should get going.
Reno: Roger! *turns to Irvine* You ready my trusty navigator?
Irvine: You know it, man!
(Reno turns the van on, shifts gears, and just as he's about to pull forward, Laguna comes running to the van)
Laguna: Hey hey hey! Where are you guys going? Is my son with you?
(Squall slowly slides down in his seat while Laguna peers through the window)
Laguna: There you are, son!
Squall: *twitches* Don't call me that!
Laguna: Come give your daddy a hug before you go.
Squall: *twitches uncontrollably* Floor it Reno! For the love of Shiva, floor it!
(Reno slams on the gas and they take off leaving tire tracks on the cement)
Laguna: *shrugs* I guess he didn't hear me.
(Back in the van...)
Rinoa: Squall! That was mean. Your father just wanted a hug.
Squall: Don't ever say those words again.
Crystal: I don't see you jumping at the chance to hug your father, Annoyia.
Seph: I like Squall's attitude towards his father. Need I remind you of Hojo?
Everyone: *shudders*
Raven: Ok, no more father talk.
(7 hours have passed... Rinoa is singing "If You're Happy and You Know It" for the fourth time)
Rinoa: If you're happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if you're hap-
(Heero spins around and points his gun at Rinoa's head)
Heero: I will kill you.
Squall: I know she sucks at singing, but... Raven, control him!
Raven: *shrugs* Wouldn't be a loss to me. Will anyone else miss her?
Everyone: No.
Wufei: I might.
Everyone: Ew!
Raven: *sighs* Heero, put the gun away. Annoyia, stop singing. If she sings again, *shrugs* kill her.
Heero: Mission: Accepted.
(4 hours later...)
Crystal: *finishing her book* I have nothing to read!
Raven: Rude! Get the books from bag #2 and give them to Crys.
Rude: Yes, Raven.
(He digs through the pile of bags, finds bag #2, and pulls out five books)
Crys: Woohoo! Thanks, Raven.
Raven: Anytime, little sis.
(5 hours later...)
(Raven is snuggled up to Trowa, sleeping, Rufus looks at them with disgust)
Rufus: Do I have to watch them snuggle?
Irvine: If we all have to, then you do too.
Rufus: But I'm the President of ShinRa!
(Crystal smacks him on the shoulder and hits him on the head with her book)
Crystal: What did I tell you?!
Rufus: OW! *rubs his head* Ok, I'll cut back.
(Reno, who's been falling asleep at the wheel for the past hour, pulls over)
Reno: Here looks like a good place to rest.
Crystal: *blinks* But we're in the middle of nowhere, with no hotels, and surrounded by cows.
Irvine: Aren't you, like, in army cadets or something? This
shouldn't matter to you.
Crystal: Good point. If anyone snores, they're outside!
Sephiroth: She's getting as bad as her sister...
(After some complaining about lack of space, they all drifted to sleep)
(8 hours later everyone was slowly waking up, and Reno drove them to the nearest town to get breakfast)
(2 hours later, they were back on the road)
(7 hours later... they reach a fork in the road)
Reno: Which way do I take, man?
Irvine: I... I don't know... There's so much pressure! *he starts to sob*
Raven: How do you guys know? You've never been here.
Heero: You've never been either.
Raven: eheh, so? At least I'm from this world! Go left, Reno.
Reno: Alrighty.
Heero: You'll be sorry...
(3 hours later...)
Reno: Umm... Does this look familiar to anyone?
Raven: I told ya, I've never been here... so, I dunno.
Irvine: I think we're going the wrong way...
Seph: So we're lost? Does that surprise you? I mean, you took Raven's advice. The girl couldn't find her way out of a paper bag if she was using a map.
Heero: We told you.
Raven: *frowns* I guess I shouldn't doubt the knowledge of a Gundam pilot anymore... at least I tried...
Trowa: *holds her close* It's ok. We're just temporarily misplaced. We'll be back in the right direction soon.
(An hour later they found the right direction.)
(4 hours later... all hell breaks loose...)
Rinoa: *lightly humming*
Heero: *spins around* I told you I would kill you.
Raven: Heero! No bloodshed right now, please. How about the radio? CD?
Irvine: *flips on the radio* Wicked! Kid Rock's Cowboy!
Seph: Typical...
Raven: Irvy, that song is so over done. Next.
(Next is U2)
Raven/Crys/Reno/Irvine: Ew.
(Irvine switches it)
Seph/Rufus/Heero/Wufei: Hey! I liked that!
Raven: Too bad.
(Mandy Moore, Candy)
Wufei: *twitches* Weak woman.
Seph: I agree.
Crystal: I like it.
Seph: You would.
Raven: Ok, no more radio. How about CDs. Umm... Britney Spears?
Rufus: Wait. You don't have the full FF7 soundtrack, but you have FF8 and 9? You don't even like 9!
Seph: Injustice! Ack. Damn you Wufei! You have me saying it.
Wufei: *smirks*
Raven: Well... it's hard to find... I didn't get into FF until 7 was already on the PC...
All the FF7 Guys: -_-;
Raven: At least the Reunion has all my fave songs...
Rinoa: How about we listen to nsync! I bought their new album, Celebrity.
Everyone: O_O!!
Raven: *turning red* Reno, stop the van.
(He does, and Raven turns around. Crys, Rufus, and Heero duck out of the way)
Irvine: Rave, babe, stay calm. I don't think she, like, knows the rules.
Reno: Dude, I think we should stay out of this one.
Raven: What did you say, Crackwhore?
Rinoa: I... I... I suggested nsync, is there anything wrong with wanting to listen to them?
(Raven goes to lunge at Rinoa but Trowa grabs her and holds her back)
Raven: Lemme go! She must die! Where's my death scythe?! Rude! Find my death scythe!
Trowa: Calm down, sweetie. She's not all there to begin with. We can't expect her to have good taste in music.
Raven: That's no excuse, Trowa. Annoyia, get out.
Rinoa: *blinks* What? It's the middle of nowhere. And those cows are looking at us funny.
Raven: Does it look like I care? Get out!
(Rinoa pouts and begs Squall to go with him but he has a bit more common sense than that to turn against Raven. In the end Rinoa is shoved out and Raven demands Reno to leave)
(20 minutes later)
Crystal: You know, I don't like her much, but, that was a bit harsh.
Rufus: Don't you feel the least bit guilty?
Raven: *snaps* Don't you feel the least bit guilty about dropping the plate on Sector 7?
Rufus: eheh, no comment.
Trowa: I think she's learned her lesson. Besides, she's now terrified of you, which means you won't see her that often.
Raven: *sighs* I guess... Alright. Reno, turn around and pick her up.
(22 minutes later they pull back up to Rinoa, who's sitting in the side of the road, surrounded by cows)
Raven: Reno, use your electro-rod and scare the cows off, please.
Rufus: You do know that thing only takes like 30HP, right? It's harmless.
Raven: I know, It makes him feel important though.
(Reno chases after the cows poking at the cows who just stand there and stare at him. Finally they get annoyed and leave)
Raven: Rinoa, after much persuasion, I've decided to let you back in. BUT! *takes her nsync CD and snaps it in half* Never again, Annoyia, never again.
(They drive for another 2 hours, then rest for the night. 7 hours later they're on the road again)
Seph: Are we there yet?
Reno: No.
(30 minutes later...)
Seph: Are we there yet?
Reno: No.
(40 minutes later...)
Seph: Are we there yet?
Raven: Do you see a huge mall?
Seph: Nooo...
Raven: Then we're not there yet.
(After another 2 hours of this, they drive into Edmonton. 20 minutes later, they're parking the van in the mall parking lot)
Seph: Praise Jenova, we're here!
Reno: And in one piece might I add.
Rufus: Barely. I don't think I'm likely to forget that heard of cattle running for their lives in that field, four hours ago.
Irvine: I don't think they'll forget that either.
Raven: *her eyes glaze over* Finally, my shopping dream will become reality.
