And the Winner Is...
(Irvine, Reno, Rufus, Seph, Vincent, Squall, and Rinoa are all lounging around the den... Irvine and Reno are playing cards and drinking, Squall and Rinoa are cuddling on the couch all lovey-dovey, and the other three are fighting over what to watch.)
Rufus: I don't care if it's airing once. We're not watching the 21 hours of 210 Ways To Kill With A Masamune!
Sephiroth: But it got great reviews!
Rufus: By whom? Seifer and Kuja?
Seph: Vincent will watch it, won't you?
Vincent: I think it is a bit much, Sephiroth.
(Raven walks in looking a bit down. She looks at Squall and Rinoa still going at it, and sighs, then flops down in the chair in the corner.)
Irvine: Hey sexy. We still on for tonight? You know, we can leave Reno behind and just have a private party of our own. *smiles and winks at her.*
Raven: No thanks Irvine. As tempting as that is, I'm just not in the mood for any partying tonight. You and Reno have fun though.
Reno: Dude, she didn't call you 'Irvy' She didn't even attempt to flirt back.
Irvine: I know man. You think she's sick? Hung over?
(Reno and Irvine continue with their theories while Rufus moves over to Raven.)
Rufus: You're looking down.
Raven: *sarcastically* Really? And I thought I was doing so well at hiding it...
Rufus: *beams* Yeah, well, when you're the President of ShinRa, you pick up on things quicker than these fools. *points to Irvine and Reno*
Raven: *smiles a bit then quickly stops herself* You're right, I am feeling down. It's just... I don't know...
(Rinoa, eavesdropping as always, joins the convo)
Rinoa: Why don't you tell us what's wrong, maybe we can help.
Raven: I doubt it, Rinoa. But thanks for the offer.
Rinoa: *blink blink* You really are depressed over something. You didn't yell at me to mind my own business, or call me Annoyia or Crackwhore.
Raven: *thinks a second* You know, I decided I can never be that depressed, Annoyia. Now take your sexy boyfriend and leave. Who let you in anyway? Don't think just because Squall can come whenever he wants means you're allowed.
Rinoa: Now that's the Raven I know. Come on, Squall, let's go. Maybe we should go say hi to your father.
Squall: *shrugs* Whatever... O_O! Wait! Not Laguna!
(Rinoa leaves dragging a reluctant Squall behind her.)
(All the guys who are left stop what they're doing and look over at Raven.)
Raven: What? Do I have something on my face? Lipstick smudge?
Reno: You'd look hot even if it was a make-up emergency. But you know that's not why we're all staring...
Vincent: Yes, Raven, do tell us what bothers you.
Raven: *sighs* All right. Well, Christmas is only 20 days away...
Irvine: And you don't know what to buy us?
Seph: Shut up Cowboy! Let the girl talk.
Raven: ...and I've been feeling a bit... lonely lately. Especially when I see happy couples cuddling like Squall and Rinoa. I'M NOT JEALOUS OF THE CRACKWHORE EITHER!!
Vincent: We never thought otherwise.
Irvine: What's to be jealous of? She's annoying, big mouthed, and you're so much sexier.
Rufus: I have to agree with him on that one. But why are you so lonely? You have all of us.
Reno: Yeah. And I haven't heard you complain about that yet.
Raven: *quickly* NO! You guys are the greatest! And I do love you all, it's just I kind of crave the one on one attention... the flowers, the poems, little gifts of love, the late night phone calls wishing me sweet dreams, the walks hand in hand leading to nowhere in particular... *sighs*
Irvine: I recite poems all the time. *smiles proudly*
Reno: Only when you're trying to pick-up and get an easy score, man.
Irvine: *frowns* I know... but it does work. *he and Reno high five* But I still have a soft spot that's sincere... somewhere...
Seph: The booze probably killed it...
(Rufus hugs Raven tightly, who slowly hugs back and rests her head on his shoulder)
Raven: I think I'm gonna go to my room, listen to some music, reflect on life...
Reno and Irvine: *jump up and yell at the same time* I'LL GO WITH YOU!!
Raven: Heh, maybe later
I'll hook up with my partying hotties. Right now, I just want to be alone.
(Raven gets up, kisses them all on the cheek and leaves.)
Reno: *sits back down with a gleam in his eye* So she wants poems and gifts, eh? Hmm...
Irvine: Man, you're not... NO WAY! I'm gonna write her better poems!
Seph: This might be entertaining.
Vincent: You're going to write poems too?
Seph: No. Watching the village drunks write poems.
(45minutes later, Irvine, Reno, Rufus, Seph, Vincent, Zell, Cloud, and Seifer are in the den either thinking of ideas to win over Raven, or just observing.)
Vincent: I really think this is a bad idea.
Seph: You would. Now stop complaining and cut me some hearts and flowers.
Vincent: *sighs and lifts his claw* 1) How am I supposed to cut things, and 2) I thought you were a spectator.
Seph: *sees the claw* Oh, right. *pouts* But I've never made hearts and flowers before... And I got bored from watching these pathetic attempts at love and knew I could beat them all.
Vincent: *blinks* You... want to.. win Raven?
Seph: *shrugs* Not really. But it'll prove I'm the best man.
Vincent: Oh dear... -_-;;
(Zell's sitting on the floor when he jumps up)
Zell: Alright! I'm done! *shows off his lopsided pink heart with some sloppy words scribbled on it*
Reno: Dude, you do know Raven HATES pink with a passion.
Zell: But it goes so well with her skin tone.
Everyone: *blink blink*
Reno: You are SO gay.
Irvine: Makes you wonder why Raven hates him too, especially if he's yaoi.
Zell: *voice trembling a bit* She... hates me?
Seifer: she hardly talks to you, tries to avoid you at all costs, and never invites you anywhere. What do you think, Chicken-wuss?
Zell: *flipping out* What did you call me?!
(Those two go at it some more until Zell gets upset and goes to find Squall)
(On the other side if the room, Irvine and Reno have finished their poem.)
Reno: Man, we rock!
Irvine: *high fives Reno* That we certainly do!
Cloud: *looks at them oddly* Umm... if she wants a monogamous relationship... don't you think you should've each written a poem... not a joint one?
Irvine and Reno: *look at each other, then to the paper, then to Cloud, then back to each other* Oh damn. x_x;;
(Rufus, who's been sitting in the corner, watching the room, hangs up his PHS, and stands up)
Rufus: You guys are pathetic. Be yourselves. She'll know what's you and what's not. For example, Sephiroth isn't exactly a heart and flower guy.
Cloud: What are you planning on doing, Rufus?
Rufus: *swooshes his hair back* Why, be myself of course.
Reno: You mean you're going to bribe her with expensive things.
Rufus: More or less.
(Rufus walks out of the room leaving the others to think)
Seifer: I think I have an idea as to who's going to win her over...
(Rufus lightly knocks on Raven's bedroom door, she yells to him it's open and a minute later he's sitting on the edge of her bed waiting for her to finish her call.)
Raven: *on the phone* It's been fun talking to you again, especially without that jerk around. But I gotta go, I have company... Ok, I will... Ciao. *she hangs up the phone* Hey Rufus!
Rufus: You seem to be doing a lot better. I came over with a gift to cheer you up, but it seems the mystery caller beat me. Who was on the phone?
Raven: Gift!? OH! Lemme see! And it was no one you know... just a friend... o_o;;
Rufus: A guy or girl friend?
Raven: Does it really matter?
Rufus: ...I suppose it doesn't matter... and I came by to tell you that I arranged a little getaway for you and one lucky friend to use my private jet and stay at Costa De Sol for a week.
Raven: Rufus! You're so sweet! Not at all like in the game.
Rufus: Oh no, I am mean. Just some people bring out the good in me. *flashes his million dollar smile*
Raven: *hugs Rufus tightly* Thank you so much. Now I have to decide on who to take...
Rufus: I'll leave you alone to decide, but the flight leaves tomorrow morning.
(he leaves and after a few minutes Raven picks up the phone again and dials)
Raven: Hey, It's me again... Whatcha doing for the next week?
(Back to the guys in the den...)
(Rufus walks in smiling from ear to ear and sits down in a chair)
Rufus: Reno, get me a latte.
Reno: I'm a Turk! Not a waiter! I'm supposed to kidnap people, and kill people, NOT get lattes!
(Everyone except Rufus stare at Reno)
Reno: *looks around nervously* Heh, heh, just kidding about what Turks do of course...
Rufus: Reno... I can hire and fire you at my whim...
Reno: Big deal, fire me, I don't care, you're a lousy boss.
Rufus: You are killing my good mood, Reno! RUDE!!!!!
(15 seconds later, Rude comes running in, totally out of breath)
Rude: Yes sir?
Rufus: Rude... that took too long.
Rude: *frowns*
Rufus: Where were you?
Rude: At your office in Midgar, polishing your shoes like you asked me to.
Rufus: Ah, right. Well, in any case, I want a latte.
Rude: .....
Rufus: Rude! I want it now!
Rude: *sighs* Yes, sir.
(Rude runs off and a few minutes later returns with the latte)
Rufus: Wonderful. You may go.
(Rude glares at Reno, who just shrugs at him, then walks out the room mumbling things unfit for any lady to hear.)
Seph: Well, Shinra, you gonna tell us what got you beaming so much? Did you get laid?
Rufus: *frowns* No... not this time... But that should change soon.
Seph: Ok, out with it. What did you give her?
Rufus: I gave her a week vacation for two in Costa De Sol AND she gets to use my private jet.
Reno: Dayum... So much for the poem... how are we supposed to top that?
Rufus: You useless drunk! If you didn't spend all your pay checks on alcohol, you might be able to buy her nice things too.
Reno: You hardly even pay me!
Rufus: This is true.
(An hour later, Crystal and Raven walk in, talking about swim wear)