5 Guys + Raven + Boredom = Trouble
(Raven's sitting in the middle of the couch watching tv. Curling to be precise. She's thoroughly engrossed in the match, yelling at the teams and drooling over the hot young guy on team Alberta who played for Team Canada in the Olympics *_* Where was I? Oh yeah. Dauragon, Seph, Hunter, Reno, and Irvine all come trudging in)
Seph: Out of the way, woman! The game is on.
Raven: I know. Alberta vs Ontario. It's a good match so far.
Dauragon: Umm. No. He meant the game, as in hockey.
Raven: Too bad. My realm, my mansion, my ramble room, my tv. *she sticks her tongue out at them* Besides, when did you guys start watching sports?
Hunter: Eh? We've got nothing better to do. So we thought we'd try the male bonding thing over sports.
Irvine: *sitting on the right side of Raven and putting his arm around her* I personally don't care what we watch, as long as the seating arrangements stay the same.
(Dauragon comes over, removes Irvine's arm from around Raven and sits on the left of her. Raven curls up against him)
Raven: Thank you for not ripping his arm off.
Dauragon: Whatever.
Reno: Dude, have you been hanging out with Squall?
Dauragon: .......
Seph: Ok. Back to the issue at hand. Turn to the game, woman!
Raven: No, Sephy-sama!
Hunter: But, Raven, we want to do our male bonding!
Raven: You guys can be all macho and bond and all that while watching curling.
Reno: Well, it is a sport...
Hunter: But it's curling...
(They all sit down, not that it matters, but as follows: Dauragon, Raven, and Irvine on one couch, Hunter and Reno on the other, and Seph is in the recliner. Fawkes has sleeked in and is lying on the floor near Seph)
Irvine: Are those brooms?
Raven: Yep.
Reno: What are they doing?
Raven: Sweeping.
Seph: Oh god. I should've known you'd be watching a sport that deals with cleaning.
(The phone rings and Raven makes a beeline for it)
Raven: *looking at the caller ID before answering it* Hi, Jenn... just watching curling... it's not that bad once you get into it... ok, hold on. *she puts Jenn on hold* Guys, I'm gonna talk to Jenn, you watch curling. I'll be back in a bit, I hope. Curling better be on when I get back!
(She takes Jenn off hold and leaves the room talking on the cordless phone)
Hunter: Who's up for a different sport?
Irvine: I dunno. Rave said not to turn it.
Seph: You are such a coward. She won't know. Besides, she's talking to Jenn. This could take over an hour.
Reno: You know, I don't even like watching sports.
Dauragon: You always go to bars to watch the game though.
Reno: Eh? Just another excuse to get drunk in public. *high fives Irvine*
Seph: Hey, they're whipping things at other things and the guys with brooms are being chased by it.
(They all turn their attention back to the tv where a team member is sliding a stone down the rink into the "house" where it hits another stone which ricochets off another stone)
Reno: This doesn't seem so bad.
Irvine: Yeah. I'll get the chips.
Seph: We know you and Reno have the beer part covered already.
(An hour later, Raven's off the phone and comes back into the room)
Raven: Hey guys! Is curling still- oh... my... god...
Dauragon: Hun, could you keep it down. We're trying to watch this match.
(Raven stands in the doorway, unable to move as she stares at the guys. Irvine and Reno are wearing foam hats in the shape of the stones that the players throw, even Fawkes is wearing a little one. Seph, Dauragon, and Hunter have little banner flags and are waving them in the air. Hunter's a bit less enthusiastic)
Seph: What are they thinking? He should throw the stone against the red one to the left which will hit his other yellow stone closer to the button.
Dauragon: That's a good plan, Sephiroth, but I think he should hit the red stone on a 45° angle which will knick the other red one which will hopefully clear the house of the red stones.
Raven: *blink blink* You guys are really into it... you know more about the game than I do. And I've even played it once.
Hunter: You're Canadian, of course you've played it before.
Raven: You're just upset because Canada invented all the cool sports.
Hunter: Yeah... that's it...
Raven: I know! You're upset because you actually like curling now.
Hunter: Hardly. *mumbling* Even if I did like it, I wouldn't admit it to you.
Dauragon: Would you two shut up! It's the final stone.
Raven: Sorry. Wait. Did you just tell me to shut up?
Dauragon: I did. But it was filled with love.
Raven: Oh. Ok. ^_^
Hunter: *mockingly* Was it filled with love for me too?
Dauragon: No.
Raven: Hunter, stop hitting on my boyfriend.
Hunter: Wha?
Seph: That was a great throw!
Reno: Go yellow!
Irvine: Woo! Yellow wins!
Dauragon: That's Ontario, morons.
Raven: Yay, Ontario! Aww... that means the hottie on Alberta lost.
Dauragon: What a shame.
Reno: You think there's any bars having victory drinks?
Hunter: Good luck finding a bar that's showing curling.
Raven: Get over it, Hunter. Curling's not that bad. Especially after the Olympics. People respect it more.
Seph: This poor underappreciated sport. *takes his masamune out* I will make sure it gets the respect it deserves.
Raven: No, Sephy-sama! Put the masamune away!
Seph: Tcht. Fine. Take away all my fun.
Irvine: Why do you call Sephiroth that?
Raven: Because it sounds cute. ^_^
Irvine: But you're calling him Lord.
Seph: Like you all should be.
Raven: Does it really matter what I call him, Irvy?
Irvine: I guess not. *pouts* but Irvy-sama would be nice.
Raven: I just don't think it flows nicely.
Irvine: But you called me that before when we were in bed...
Dauragon: *glares at Irvine*
Raven: *waves the comment off dismissively* In the heat of the moment you never know what's going to come out.
Seph: Besides, she probably calls everyone lord while in bed.
Reno: I don't think she calls Dauragon that. I bet he calls her mistress though.
Dauragon: I most certainly do not. *mumbling under his breath* I call her my sexy goddess of love...
Hunter: Uhh... right... let's exploit Raven's sex life later.
Raven: Thank you, Hunter. Always a true-
Hunter: Like when I have a pen and paper so I can take notes.
Raven: *falls over*
Dauragon: Why do you want to take notes?!
Hunter: So I can tease her about it.
Raven: -_-;;
Fawkes: *laughs*
Seph: I'm all for teasing Raven, hell, it should be a national past time and Olympic sport like curling, but this is boring.
Reno: I agree with the Planet Wannabe. This blows.
Irvine: Like Rav-
Raven: Don't even start in on me again.
Irvine: I was just-
(Raven places a finger on Irvine's lips)
Raven: Hush. See that look on Dauragon's face? Do you really want to say more?
(Irvine looks over at Dauragon and sees murderous intentions written all over his face. Irvine quickly shakes his head no)
Raven: Good boy.
Dauragon: Any ideas as to what we should do?
Seph: Yeah, woman. You always have some twisted idea in your head.
Hunter: That usually get her hurt.
Seph: So? That's part of the amusement I get out of going on these outings.
Raven: *frowns* You guys are so mean to me. Maybe I'll go find someone else to hang around with today. Where's... Zell?
Irvine: Last I saw, he was tagging along with Squall and Quistis on their romantic evening away from Garden.
Raven: Oh. Maybe I'll go rescue them and hang out with Zell.
Dauragon: Uhh... sweetheart, you don't like Zell. Why would you want to voluntarily be around him?
Raven: Hmm. Good point. Momentary lapse of good
judgment. I'll go find Rufus then.
Hunter: There's another lapse of judgment.
Raven: Hunter! Leave Rufus alone. He's not even here to defend himself.
Hunter: Like he could even if he was. He's a wimp and you stick up for him all the time anyway.
Reno: Hey, where is Rufus? He's almost always here. Did Hunter put him on the roof again?
Hunter: Sadly, not this time.
Raven: *shrugs* I don't know where he is. Oh! I have an idea on how to get rid of our boredom.
Seph: Here it comes... what body part will she hurt this time?
Raven: Let's go to a karaoke bar!
Guys: *blink blink*
Seph: Like hell, woman!
Hunter: I think she's lost it.
Reno: Awesome! I love karaoke!
Irvine: Yeah! Cool!
Hunter: All three of them have lost it.
Dauragon: No good can come of this.
Raven: Oh, come on! It'll be fun!
Seph: Listening to a bunch of people who can't sing up on stage making fools of themselves isn't what I call... wait, actually it is. I'm in.
Raven: Yay! That just leaves Hunter.
Hunter: And Dauragon. He hasn't agreed to it.
Raven: Of course he has. He knows I like it and want to go, so he'll go.
Dauragon: ..........
Hunter: What happened to you, man? You are so whipped now.
Dauragon: *glares at Hunter* What's that, Hunter? You want to go too and sing first? How sportsman like of you.
Hunter: ........
(Twenty minutes later they've all piled into the van, minus Fawkes who Raven would not let come on this outing, and are on their way to the bar)
Raven: Oh! I have another idea! I know y'all will like it too. Let's go curling!
Hunter: No.
Raven: But you guys all like it.
Hunter: Still no.
Raven: But-
Dauragon: I much rather see Hunter and Sephiroth making fools of themselves while singing.
Hunter: Maybe we should go curling...
Raven: Nah. karaoke it is. Just look at Irvine and Reno. They're already practicing.
Seph: Actually, I think that's just drunken nonsense singing.
Raven: -_-;
(They finally arrive at the bar and pile through the main entrance. They stop and listen to the guy on stage singing. They can't see him because some tall guy is in the way)
Dauragon: This guy is pretty good.
Irvine: A lot of famous singers and songwriters get started in places like this. He could be the next big thing.
Hunter: I wonder who he is...
Raven: Who cares. Let's go sign up. ^_^
(Raven scampers over to the dj to write down the songs she wants to sing. Irvine and Reno follow suit while Dauragon, Hunter, and Seph find a booth and sit down. Raven sits down next to Dauragon a few minutes later)
Dauragon: How many songs did you put in this time?
Raven: That's not really important. Btw, I signed us up for a duet. ^_^
Dauragon: .......
Raven: What?
Dauragon: I refuse to sing any song in public.
Raven: Please? *she gives him puppy dog eyes*
Dauragon: Fine. What song are you forcing me to sing?
Seph: If it's 'I Got You Babe' the masamune is coming out.
Hunter: You'd kill Raven?
Seph: No, myself.
Raven: *glares at Sephiroth* We're singing 'Come What May' from Moulin Rouge.
Seph: That movie sucks.
Raven: You haven't seen it!
Seph: Neither have you!
Raven: So? It's still a beautiful song.
Seph: What is it with women and mushy love songs?
Raven: ugh. What song are you singing?
Seph: I'm not.
Raven: Yes, you are. So is Hunter.
Hunter: *shrugs* Might as well. Nothing better to do.
Raven: *blink blink* You actually agreed?
Hunter: Sure. Can't let you have all the fun and hog the stage.
Seph: Don't even bother begging some more, woman, I'll sing a damn song. Just don't be such a girl and make a huge deal over it.
Raven: Thankies, Sephy-sama!
Hunter: What song are you going to sing, Daurie?
Dauragon: Don't call me that. I'm not singing a song. Raven's lucky I'm doing a duet with her.
Raven: I'm happy you're doing that much for me. ^_^ *kisses Dauragon*
Hunter: I'm basically forced into a song and he gets a kiss for compromising. Maybe I should sleep with her as well so I can get these kind of deals...
Raven/Dauragon: What was that?
Hunter: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
(Hunter and Sephiroth go over to the dj to hand in their requests. When they return Irvine and Reno have joined them at the booth)
Raven: What are you two singing?
Irvine: You'll see. I think you'll like it.
Reno: It's something you haven't heard for a while.
(Raven's about to start guessing what song Reno and Irvine are going to sing when the DJ announces the next singer)
DJ: Next up we have Sephiroth... whoa, there's a name you don't here everyday. Hippy parents?
Seph: Yeah... something like that...
DJ: Right on. He'll be singing... well, it doesn't say. Dude, what are you singing?
Seph: *whips out a cd* My favourite song. Which also happens to be my theme song.
Voice: Oh gawd... do we have to listen to that noise? I don't think my delicate ears can take it.
Seph: I know that voice...
Raven: It's Kuja! *she runs over and gives him a hug* How are ya, hun?
Seph: Excuse me! Girl chat later. I'm about to sing.
Kuja: Fine. Let's get this over with.
(Seph goes up on stage he grabs the mic and waits for the music to start. When he does he doesn't start singing, he doesn't even move. The song still has the original lyrics in it to which Seph starts to grin when the say his name)
Seph: *with music still playing* I shall become one with the planet!
Raven: Oh no...
Hunter: Maybe we should stop him.
Raven: Ya think?
(Raven goes over to the dj stand and hits the stop button)
Seph: Hey! Woman, what are you doing?!
Raven: Sephiroth, just get off the stage.
(Seph reluctantly leaves the stage)
DJ: O...k... Next up is Hunter singing some Sinatra.
Raven: Sinatra? You?
Hunter: Don't look so shocked. You of all people should know I have an eclectic taste in music. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a song to sing.
(Hunter jumps up on stage and the music to 'I've Got the World on a String' starts playing. He starts singing right on cue, not even looking at the teleprompter)
Reno: He's damn good.
Irvine: Eh? That's nothing to how we're going to sound during our song. *high fives Reno*
(A few minutes later Hunter has finished and people are cheering for him. He returns to the booth and nonchalantly sits down)
DJ: Lemme just reach into the basket and pick our next
performer... *he reaches in and pulls out a paper* Raven! Come on up. Raven will be singing 'Whole Again' by Atomic Kitten.
Raven: Woo! I love this song!
Seph: Obviously. You did pick it to sing.
(Raven gets up on stage and smiles at everyone. She waves at the gang at the table and blows Dauragon a kiss. Irvine and Reno both think it's blown at them and blow her kisses back. Dauragon smacks them both across the head. The music starts and Raven starts singing)
Raven: *singing* If you see me walking down the street, staring at the sky and dragging my two feet, you just pass me by, it still makes me cry, but you can make me whole again...
Hunter: *slightly cringing* I've heard worse...
Seph: *also slightly cringing* I've heard better...
Irvine: It's probably just the wrong key for her. I'm sure she'll improve at the chorus...
Reno: Only if we're lucky.
Raven: *singing* Looking back on when we first met, I cannot escape and I cannot forget, Baby you're the one, you still turn me on, you can make me whole again...
Irvine: See, this is much better.
Seph: If you say so.
(After she's done the song, Raven stands on the
stage holding the mic and smiling)
Hunter: You can get off the stage now.
Raven: Nah. I'm good here.
*looking at Raven oddly* Right... next up we have... *he reaches into the basket and pulls out another piece of paper* Raven! Again? Oh well. It's her lucky day. To get to sing two of her songs. This time around she's singing 'As Long As You Love Me' by Backstreet Boys. Sorry, hun, we don't have that one. I don't know what happened to it but-
Raven: That's ok! I have it! *she runs to the booth, rifles through her purse and pulls out a cd. She runs to the DJ, hands it to him and jumps back on stage* Song 4 please.
(The song starts and Raven starts singing along happily)
Hunter: Does she always carry cds with her?
Dauragon: Only when going to karaoke or long car trips.
Reno: I wonder what else she has in her purse...
Kuja: *slapping Reno's hand away* You never go into a woman's purse.
Irvine: Is that another one of those womanly rules?
Kuja: It is.
Seph: He would know...
Hunter: Besides that whole betraying Raven's confidence thing, do you know what you could accidentally stumble upon? *he gets all serious looking*
Reno: *starting to panic* No, man. What? Tell me!
Hunter: You could come across womanly items like tampons!
Reno: *quickly removing his hand away from the purse and sliding it away from him* OMG! I'm never going through another woman's purse again!
Seph: *covering his ears* How can you guys stand this noise?
Irvine: What are you talking about?
Seph: Have I been the only one listening to Raven?
(They all stop talking and listen to Raven)
Raven: *singing* I tried to hide it so that no one knows, but I guess it shows, when you look into my eyes. What you did and where you coming from, I don't caaaaaaAAAAAaaaare, as long as you love me baby...
(They all cringe in pain then look at Dauragon)
Reno: Oh god, that is awful.
Hunter: How can you put up with that, Dauragon?
Irvine: I wouldn't mind putting up with it if it meant I was in bed next to Raven at night. *pouts*
Kuja: Oh get over it already! It's been what, 5 months since she hooked up with Dauragon and left you bootyless. If you keep dwelling on the past and obsessing over her, you're going to become a stalker and have a restraining order against you.
(Kuja goes on lecturing Irvine, while Dauragon, who thankfully didn't hear Irvine and his whining, sits with a fake smile plastered on his face and watches Raven sing)
Hunter: If you tell me you like her singing and are enjoying yourself, I will know for sure you are whipped and afraid of her.
Dauragon: I'm not whipped. Nor am I afraid of her. Alright, sometimes she can be a bit frightening... but that's not the point. The point is she likes to sing and is enjoying herself, therefore I am supporting her.
Hunter: uh-huh.