Don't Tread Water That's Over Your Head
I've used some Fushigi Yuugi in this ramble, so if you wanna know what the chars look like, go to the Guide to find out. ^_^
(It's Tuesday afternoon and, as always, people are lounging around the ramble room. Irvine, Reno, and Kou are watching tv, Sephiroth and Fawkes are annoying Vincent who's trying to read, Rufus and Crystal are glued to the comp playing 'The Sims', Rinoa and Squall are cuddling in the corner, Squall does not look thrilled, neither does Quistis who's in the kitchen
vehemently chopping carrots, Dauragon's sitting in a cozy recliner talking on his cell phone with Raven curled up in his lap reading a magazine, Rude is playing chess with van, and Kuja is standing in front of a mirror)
Vincent: *fighting with Fawkes for the book* Sephiroth, will you kindly call Fawkes off?
Seph: he just wants to read and be well educated too.
Vincent: He's eating the book.
Fawkes: *laughs with pages in his mouth*
Seph: He's a very sensory learner. Not only does he like to see it, he likes to taste it as well.
Vincent: Oh dear...
Seph: What were you reading anyway?
Vincent: One of Raven's Shannara books. *sighs* The elves she loves dearly were just eaten by a hyena...
Seph: *pales* Not good.
Fawkes: *laughs hysterically*
Seph: Shut up! You're the one who ate it!
Fawkes: *pales as well and shrinks out of the room*
Crystal: *eyes glued to the screen still* Quistis, are those carrot sticks ready yet?
Quistis: *looking down at the itty bitty carrot remains* oops... umm... almost! Damn Annoyia ruins everything she touches... even indirectly. *pulls some more carrots out of the bag and starts again*
Rinoa: Oh, Squall! I love spending the day in your arms.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Don't you love spending it with me too?
Squall: Can you loosen your grip? Breathing's becoming a bit more difficult...
Irvine: Score! The Leafs score! They are so going to win. I'm going to be rich!
Reno: Uhh... dude, I put your bet down for the Wings to win...
Irvine: What?! But they... I want... No!
Kou: How much did he bet?
Reno: Only $75.
Irvine: Only?! Dude, that's a week of beer money!
Reno: That's nothing compared to what I lost when Team Canada beat Team USA.
Kou: Canada kicks ass in hockey! *he and Irvine high five*
Reno: Guys... that hurts... That wound is still sore.
Irvine: It was a week ago! get over it! Wait, did you place my bet on the Wings as payback because you're still bitter?
Reno: What? Me? Never. *shifty eyes* Another beer anyone?
Rufus: Ha! My Rufus Sim was just promoted to mayor of Simville!
Crystal: I want a recount...
Dauragon: *hanging up his cell phone* Any nice shoes in the magazine, hun?
Raven: Mmmhmm... *tosses the magazine aside* I want a heated, inground, indoor pool!
Everyone: *blink blink*
Seph: Well that was out of nowhere.
Fawkes: *laughs from the other room*
Van: Even when he's not in the room, Fawkes still laughs.
Rinoa: What do you need a pool for? It's the dead of winter.
Crystal: It's not the dead of winter. It's almost spring, Crackwhore. I will give you some credit by saying it is frickin freezing.
Raven: That it is. That's why I want a heated, inground, INDOOR pool.
Rufus: Who will be paying for this?
Rude: I bet I'll have to build it...
Raven: Don't be silly. The pool builder guys are.
Dauragon: Stop panicking, Rufus. If raven wants a pool, then she shall have it, and I will pay for it.
Raven: yay! *hugs Dauragon* Thank you so much! Too celebrate, I'm thinking a pool party the day the pool is finished is in order.
Kuja: Wonderful. I can show off my new bikini.
Everyone: *blinks*
Rufus: You're a guy.
Kuja: A very beautiful one at that.
Irvine: *sighs* I guess I'll ask my question again. Are you inviting any girls?
Raven: Actually, I...
Irvine/Reno/Kou: *cross their fingers*
Raven: I am.
Irvine/Reno/Kou: *fall over then jump to their feet* You are?!/There is a god!/I love you!
Crystal: Who the hell are you inviting? You more or less hate all anime girls.
Raven: My little secret. I will say this, Fushigi
Yuugi.
Quistis: So Tamahome's coming back?
Rufus: Wonderful! He and I can discuss money some more.
Sephiroth: yeah... That'll keep him coming back...
Raven: I'm going to call the pool people. Then we can go shopping for a new bikini, Daurie!
Dauragon: More shopping? It never ends...
Reno: Not until your bank account ends, bro.
Dauragon: -_-;
(Raven drags Dauragon out, while Rinoa and Squall have started to make out, which Quistis of course sees)
Quistis: I think I'll go... to another room to... wind the grandfather clock...
Squall: *pulling away from Rinoa* I'll go help you.
(They leave and Quistis is grinning)
Vincent: How odd.
Van: What? That it takes two people to wind a clock?
Vincent: No. We don't have a grandfather clock.
Rinoa: What are you insinuating, Vincent? That Squall and Quistis went to
make out?
Vincent: I have said nothing of the sort.
Kuja: He hasn't, and probably won't, but I will. Isn't it obvious, honey?
Rinoa: Squall would never do that to me! He is the most trustworthy and loyal man I know. And Quistis is, well, Quistis.
Kuja: Yeah, keep telling yourself that. I'm going to go try my bikini on again and stare at myself in a mirror. *he leaves*
Kou: Come on guys, let's go to the gym and tone up a bit before the party. Gotta keep the ladies happy.
Irvine: Ugh. That requires moving from the couch and a lot of work.
Reno: I'm happy here. Besides, I'm cut. I don't need to work out.
Kou: Whatever. You both could use some help.
(After some more whining and kicking, Kou convinces Irvine and Reno to go to the gym with him)
(The next few days the ramble room is filled with construction sounds. The pool room has been built and the actual pool is now being dug. Crystal's sitting on the couch, alone, watching tv when raven comes in wearing a shiny silver bikini top and a black sarong)
Crystal: Another swimsuit?
Raven: Uh-huh. I can't decide what to wear for this Saturday.
Crystal: This Saturday?
Raven: The hottie pool guy said they'll be done Saturday.
Crystal: Cool.
Raven: *looks around* Where's Van?
Crystal: *shrugs* He's around.
Raven: Why aren't you with him, clinging?
Crystal: I think we're drifting apart...
Raven: Oh. Why do you think that?
Crystal: He bought me poofy sleeves and I don't think he liked being Sir Durendal.
Raven: I think you guys will work things out. Now, I have to go try on another suit. Ciao. *she leaves*
Crystal: She's so comforting... -_-;
(Finally Saturday has arrived. Basically all the ramble room regulars are standing around outside the pool room looking impatient as Raven bounces around
excitedly inside)
Hunter: Why are we all still out here? Raven's inside. I say we can be too.
Rufus: I don't think that's a good idea.
Hunter: Shut it, Shinra.
(Hunter grabs hold of the doorknob and gets a nasty electrical shock that causes him to jump back)
Hunter: What the hell?
Rufus: That's why I said it wasn't a good idea. Some have already attempted it.
(Seifer, Zell, Kou, Rinoa, and Seph all hold up bandaged hands)
Hunter: Thanks for the warning, guys...
Fawkes: *laughs*
Reno: *beaming* I told you my electro-rod was powerful.
Vincent: Why is your weapon the item keeping us out when you're out here with us?
Reno: Raven asked to borrow it. You know me, I can't refuse a gorgeous chick.
Irvine: Yeah! *he and Reno high five*
Reno/Irvine: Ow! My arm!
Quistis: What's wrong with them?
Kou: They're a bit sore from working out the past four days.
(Raven finally stops bouncing, comes to the door, removes the rod, and opens the door)
Raven: Hey guys! Welcome to the new edition to the ramble room!
Seph: It's about time you opened the damn door.
Raven: Shush! You're ruining the moment.
Sion: Can we go swimming yet?
Raven: Don't you start too. First the rules. *everyone groans* no hyenas in the pool, no blood shed in the pool or on the deck, no drowning people, and I think that's it.
Seph: Why do I feel all those rules were directed at me?
Irvine: Where are the chicks you promised?
Raven: They'll be here later. Ok, everyone into the pool!
(Everyone whips off their towels and jumps in. Kuja
daintily sticks his toes in then quickly pulls them out again)
Kuja: That water is freezing!
Everyone: *blink blink*
Crystal: But the pool's heated to *checks the thermometer* 89�
Kuja: I prefer 90�
Everyone: *falls over*
(Everyone's having fun in the water, except Kuja who refuses to go in the water until it's 90�, when there's a knock at the door. Raven runs for it, and all the single guys jump up and strike their most flattering pose)
Raven: Hi guys! I'm so glad you could make it!
Person 1: It's a pleasure, ya know!
Raven: You're always so chipper, Chichiri. Hey, where's Tamahome?
Person 2: Do we care?
Raven: Yes we do, Nakago. Btw, you're looking extremely sexy today.
Nakago: I know.
Person 3: HEY! What about me!?
Raven: Oh, Tasuki, you know I think you're always sexy.
Person 4: *pouts*
Nakago: Quit pouting, Soi. That is no way for a celestial warrior of Seiryuu to act.
Soi: *clings to Nakago* But, Lord Nakago, only I can call you sexy and show love towards you that is true.
Nakago: Not now, Soi.
Raven: Nuriko? I thought you gave up on dressing as a woman.
Nuriko: But I look so beautiful!
Raven: O...k... Amiboshi, Suboshi, always an esthetically pleasing pleasure.
Amiboshi: *blushing* Thank you, Raven.
Suboshi: Yeah, yeah. Why isn't Yui-sama here?
Raven: *shrugs* Her invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.
Chichiri: But you called us, ya know.
Amiboshi: Brother, let us have a day of fun. You can obsess over Yui later.
Suboshi: But, brother-
Nakago: Suboshi, that's enough. You are being disrespectful to our lovely host.
Suboshi: Sorry, Lord Nakago.
Raven: I wish I had that power. Let's go inside and meet the others.
(They all wander into the pool room to find the guys holding dorky poses)
Raven: What the hell kind of look were you guys going for?
Reno: Impressive.
Raven, Well, you missed.
(All the guys fall over then straighten up again for the intros)
Raven: The blonde hottie general is Nakago. He's a baddie. *_*
Van: He looks like Dauragon.
(Everyone looks over at Dauragon who's glaring at his look a like that has caused his Raven to go starry eyed)
Raven: Next are the twins, Amiboshi, and Suboshi. Look at this, this is cool!
(She grabs Amiboshi's arm and writes on it with her finger. Both twins wince in pain as the words appear on Suboshi)
Amiboshi: Ow! Raven, you promised you wouldn't do that in front of the others.
Suboshi: Don't any of you even try that!
Raven: eheheh... moving along... Chichiri is the blue haired monk.
Chichiri: Great description, ya know.
Seph: Why are you always smiling?
Chichiri: Something wrong with this face? I have another, ya know.
(He pops off his smiling mask/face to reveal another one exactly the same underneath)
Everyone: AHH!
Crystal: *snickers* That never gets old, Chichiri.
Chichiri: ^_^
Raven: Guys, this is for you. Please welcome, Soi.
Soi: Hello.
Rufus: She's beautiful. *_*
Sion: She's probably out of your league.
Raven: Next up, Nuriko.
Kou: *cat calls*
Nuriko: *blushes* Oh, you're too kind.
Raven: Finally, my fave Suzaku... Tasuki!
(Everyone stares at the empty spot Raven's pointing at)
Raven: Tasuki! Get your cute ass red-headed self here!
Tasuki's Voice: No! I like it over here... behind this palm tree. Is this tree fake?
Raven: Tasuki! Leave my plants alone! Don't make me tell everyone you're afraid of the water and can't swim!
Tasuki: *comes flying out at her* HEY! You just told them! I'm a mountain bandit! I didn't grow up with water around me!
Raven: Sorry, hun. You know I still love you. But I knew that would get you out here. Ok, everyone, mingle and swim!
Rinoa: Where's Tamahome?
Chichiri: He's coming later, ya know.
Nuriko: Is Tama-kins out making money again? I thought we fixed that problem.
(A little while later, everyone is mingling and surprisingly getting along. We know that won't last long. This is a Raven party after all. Rufus, Irvine, Reno, and Kou have surrounded Soi)
Rufus: What is it that you do?
Soi: I sleep with men to increase their life-force.
Irvine/Reno/Kou: SCORE! *high five*
Rufus: That's so selfless and generous of you. *_*
Reno: Uh-oh. Not good. Rufus us using non-money grubbing words. If we leave now, no one will get hurt.
Kou: *blinks* Ok... I wanted to go talk to Nuriko anyway.
(He leaves, Irvine and Reno not far behind)
(Rinoa's hanging all over Squall like the cling-on she is, while Squall watches Quistis do a perfect dive. She climbs out of the pool, wraps a towel around her waist and goes to the bathroom to fix her makeup)
Squall: You want another drink?
Rinoa: Yes, please! You're so good to me, Squall. ^_^
(Squall heads to the kitchen but detours to the bathroom where Quistis is putting on her lipstick. About ten minutes later Squall returns with two glasses, followed by Quistis who's fixing her hair)
Squall: Here. *hands Rinoa a glass*
Rinoa: Thank you! Squall, is that lipstick smudged on your lips?
Squall: *shrugs* I don't know. Probably since you kiss me.
Rinoa: I don't wear that colour.
Squall: Whatever.
Rinoa: Is there something you want to tell me?
Squall: Uhh... that Nuriko girl cornered me, kissed me, then I said I was already taken. o_o;
Rinoa: I'll kill her!
Squall: NO! I mean, it was just a misunderstanding. It's ok.
Rinoa: Ok...
(Tamahome walks in with a girl with brown hair clinging to his leg, and a blonde girl following behind)
Tamahome: Miaka... walking is difficult with you attached to me leg.
Miaka: I don't care. I want to be close to you.
Tamahome: You do know you weren't invited.
Miaka: Again, I don't care. I have to keep my eye on you.
Tamahome: -_-; Why is Yui here?
Miaka: She's my best friend. Of course I'm going to bring her with me.
Tamahome: Raven's not going to like this.
Irvine: Dude! Did you just see the blonde that walked in?
Reno: Yep. Good luck with her, man.
Irvine: I don't need luck, I'm the ladies' man.
Kou: Hi, Nuriko, right?
Nuriko: Right. And you are?
Kou: I'm Kou. You know, we could just go to bed together and get it out of the way...
Nuriko: *blink blink* Uhh... You're not my type.
Kou: Not your type? Oh man... you're a lesbian, aren't you?
Nuriko: *blinks again* I'm a man, idiot.
Kou: AHH! *falls over* A man?!
Nuriko: That's right.
Kou: OMG! I just hit on a man! Ugh!
(Kou runs out screaming)
Nuriko: Well, that was rude.
(Tamahome and Miaka are now holding hands by the fake {-_-;} palm tree, gazing at each other lovingly, and doing that name thing that goes on for an hour)
Miaka: Tamahome.
Tamahome: Miaka.
Miaka: Tamahome.
Tamahome: Miaka.
Miaka: Tamahome.
Raven: Miaka? WTF are you doing here? I didn't invite you. Tamahome!
Tamahome: Don't look at me, you know how she is.
Raven: And you know how I am, especially when you two do that name thing. Miaka, out! You'll survive one night without Tamahome. Shoo!
(Tamahome hears snickering coming from behind the palm tree and goes around it to come face to face with Tasuki)
Tamahome: Hey there.
Tasuki: Hi! ^_^;
Tamahome: Still afraid of the water?
Tasuki: Of course not!
Tamahome: Really? Then you won't mind if I do this!
(Tamahome picks up Tasuki, runs to the pool edge, and threatens to toss the now kicking and screaming Tasuki in, or at least threatening was all he was originally going to do. Kuja had just opened his pocket mirror which caught the light which
shown right into Tamahome's eyes, which caused him to jump, which caused him to trip on the pool's edge, and fall in with Tasuki)
Kuja: Oops. *goes back to his mirror*
Chichiri: Tasuki's drowning, ya know!
(Everyone crowds around the pool. After splashing and choking Tasuki realized he was in the shallow end and stood up)
Tasuki: Nothing to see here... I'm ok.
Raven: *runs to Tasuki and hugs him* Are you alright? I was so worried.