(The theme song and opening start. Along with the old footage the new scenes from the last show are added in. There's Zell being squished by the snake, Raven jumping on her chair, Seph and the hyena laughing, Zell being punched by the kangaroo, and Irvine with the monkey clinging to him. As the song fades out Raven looks up from her notes and smiles. She's sitting in her cozy purple chair but it's in front of a gas fireplace with a home library feel to it)
Raven: Hi, if I have any viewers left, I welcome you. *sighs* Today, I thought we would take it easy and relax by the fire... *mumbles* cheap electric thing... and read some letters from you, my lovely and adoring home audience. We may even take a caller or two. Before we go to commercial, you may have noticed the lack of applause. That's not because my show sucks and no one would come. *yelling backstage* Shut up Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: *from backstage* I didn't say anything! That loudly...
Raven: You were thinking it, and I know I don't want to hear it. Anyway, no audience because it's only letters, the studio audience would go crazy sitting here for an hour.
Sephiroth: *from backstage still* Like the home audience wants an hour of letters...
Raven: Sephiroth! We'll be right back.
(We fade to commercial as Raven gets up, throws a book off camera somewhere, which hits Seph in the back of the head. We return with Raven once again sitting in her chair and smiling. There's a mailbag on the floor next to her)
Raven: Welcome back. Let's begin with a letter. *reaches into the bag, grabs a letter and starts to read aloud* 'Dear Raven, What ever happened to Odin in FF8? ~Sarah' That's a good question, and one I often wondered myself. So I sent a team of trained professionals out to find the answer.
Sephiroth: *yep, backstage* Professional? Your staff? *snorts*
Raven: Sephiroth! I'm trying to do a civilized show here! If you're going to insult me, you might as well do it to my face. Get out here.
Sephiroth: No thanks. It's safer back here.
Fawkes: *laughs*
Raven: Yeah, keep telling yourself that, and get Fawkes off the set. Anyway, to answer the question... After Seifer sliced Odin in half *glares* Odin went into early retirement. Early? What exactly is early retirement to a Guardian Force that's been around for ages? Where was I? Oh yes, When we tried to contact Odin for a comment, we were unable to reach him. We did, however, find Diablos. After an hour of crying and begging for their lives... my staff are such wimps... Diablos informed us that Odin is living comfortably in the Limbo that is the GF Void. No further detail was given, but one comment was added, "Seifer, watch your back." ^_^
Seifer: *backstage* What does that mean? *looks behind his back all paranoid* There's nothing there.
Raven: *hand to forehead* Baka... Next letter... 'Dear Raven, how's Selphie doing after that terrible snake bite? I was so worried! ~Selphie's biggest fan' You'll all be glad to know Selphie is recovering nicely... too bad... it might've been calmer around here... AND! No lawsuits were filed against me, thanks for the concern,
ungrateful little Selphie lover...
Dauragon: *backstage* Raven, hun, you're on live television. Try to watch what you say.
Raven: Yeah yeah. Next letter... 'Dear Raven, Why do you insist on always going on strange and suicidal adventures? You know you can't snowboard after all. It did lead to pain. ~Anonymous' *pissed off* Where the bloody hell is that red-clad ass-erm jerk?! Hunter!!
(We fade to commercial as Raven throws the letter on the ground, jumps up, and runs backstage looking for Hunter. We return to find Raven sitting n her chair with Dauragon kneeling in front of her, talking, and calming her down. He kisses her before getting up and going backstage again)
Raven: *still a bit on edge* Welcome back. Let's see the next letter. 'Dear Raven, what's your obsession with baddies?' What's with the obsession of my obsession of baddies? *sighs* Evil is sexy, alright? Case closed. Leave it at that.
Reno: *backstage* And baddies kick ass!
Irvine: *backstage* Yea! *high fives a confused Reno*
Reno: Dude, you're a good guy.
Irvine: Oh yeah... *pouts* Raven doesn't like me anymore...
Raven: *hand to head* Oh god... Irvine! I love you still. Long haired bishounen are a good thing. *muttering* damn low self-esteem bishies... I think we'll do one more letter. 'Raven, why do you hate Zell?' What is this? Pick on Raven day? I'm not answering. *tosses aside the letter*
Seifer: *backstage* She hates him cuz he's a chicken-wuss!
Raven: Seifer! Shush! Let's go to the phones. Hello, caller?
Caller: *staticy* ...Raven... show is... the time... question... how... *cuts out*
Raven: I'd like to say the caller has a bad connection, but I'm assuming it's our fault. Why can't I have working equipment and a
competent staff? I sometimes think my show would run smoother from my basement... I think this concludes today's show.
Dauragon: *backstage* You still have a caller on the line and ten minutes left.
Raven: I don't care. Play a music video to kill time. I'm going home. I'm Raven Lynliss, and this was almost a peaceful episode of FFLive.
(The theme song starts and Raven slouches in her chair. Dauragon comes out and hugs her. Hunter peaks his head into the set which Raven sees. She pushes Dauragon aside and chases after Hunter who takes off. Dauragon shakes his head and slumps into the cozy purple chair as we fade out)
