(The theme songs along with the montage opening. It hasn't improved much. Still the same footage as before with Raven clutching her head, Zell's backflip, Raven wearing Irvine's hat, and Rufus and Reno arguing thrown in. The song and footage fade and we see Raven in her cozy purple chair holding an ice pack to her head. When she sees she's on, she tosses the pack and smiles)
Raven: Hi. I'm Raven, and this is FFLive. Today is the final part in our three part fashion frenzy. Today will be a bit different. I gave a mic and camera crew to some of the FF guys who will go around to various places and ask random people what they think of their
outfits and show pics of other FF's. Sounds simple. Sounds painless. Sounds too good to be true... Let's hook up with our first correspondent, Kuja. (Yes, I like Kuja, ok? He and Vivi are the only chars from FF9 I like) Kuja? Can you hear me?
Kuja: I can darling. And might I add I love that lipstick on you.
Raven: Thanks, Kuja. How goes the interviewing?
Kuja: Not well. No one is up to my standards.
Raven: Standards?
Kuja: Yes. I can only tolerate looking at ugly people for so long. Therefore I will only talk to those that meet my standards.
Raven: Kuja, that could take days, we only have an hour.
Kuja: Alright. Since you have good fashion sense, I'll oblige. *An older man walks by* Excuse me, sir. Could I ask you a question? What do you think of my clothes?
Old man: What? No, I don't want a rose. *he leaves*
Kuja: Ok... *a mom and her nine year old daughter walk by* Hello, I was wondering if you could give your opinion on my outfit.
Mom: It's skanky and you would not be wearing that if you were my daughter. *grabs her daughter and leaves*
Raven: I see Kuja's not having much luck right now. We'll check back in later. Reno, how are you doing?
(Reno's at a bar, holding the mic in one hand and a beer bottle in the other)
Reno: I'm peachy keen, Rave.
Raven: How goes the interviewing?
Reno: Interviewing? Oh, yeah... umm... just got started. *bar tender walks by* Hey, how does my outfit look?
Bartender: You look like a lazy, good for nothing, drunken business man.
Reno: Right on! *an older lady in her 40s walks by* Excuse me, what do you think of me?
Lady: You disgust me. Tuck in your shirt. Do the buttons up. Ever hear of an iron?
Reno: Ouch. *a gorgeous 20 something walks by* Hey sexy, how do I look?
Sexy girl: Hot. I love the goggles. *she giggles*
Raven: Reno! This is not the time to pick up chicks! Btw, those aren't real.
Reno: So? Real or not, they still give the same enjoyment to me.
(We fade to commercial as Raven continues yelling at Reno. When we return the cheesy applause is going and Reno's not on the screen anymore)
Raven: Welcome back. We'll get back to Reno later. Let's hop over to Quistis. Quistis?
Quistis: Hi Raven.
Raven: How goes things?
Quistis: Surprisingly well. Women of all ages have loved my outfit, but mixed reactions when I show pictures of LuLu, Selphie, and Aeris. Comments like, dignified and slutty for LuLu, fun and slutty for Selphie, and cute, slutty and red and pink so don't go together for Aeris.
Raven: Interesting. So far you're the only correspondent to have any success and you made it to the photo round. Let's sit back and watch you get the guy opinion.
(A man in his late 30's walks by)
Quistis: Excuse me, hi. I was wondering if I could get your opinion on my outfit.
Man: You look very sexy. *spots her whip on her hip* You know, daddy's been a bad boy lately...
Quistis: Yeah... that's just wrong. Move along now.
(He leaves and a 12 year old boy comes by)
Quistis: How do you like my outfit?
Boy: It's nice. I don't like the pink though. *sees the whip* Is that real? *Quistis nods* Are you a dominatrix? Will you whip me? How much do you cost?
Quistis: Uhh... I am not a dominatrix... o_o; As to whipping you, look me up when you turn 18.
(He leaves and a hottie 21 year old walks by)
Quistis: Hi. I was wondering what you think of my outfit.
Hottie: It's great. Very flattering, and leaves just enough to the imagination. *sees the whip* You know, you can
whip me anytime...
Quistis: *smiles* I just might take you up on that offer. One sec. Raven, I'm done. See ya.
Raven: Bye... he was a hottie... Let's check in on Sephiroth.
(Sephiroth's standing in a mall, not looking amused)
Sephiroth: I hate you.
Raven: o_o Why?
Sephiroth: Little kids everywhere. One stomped my foot when I asked him about my outfit.
Raven: Aww... poor Sephy-sama. Why don't you try again.
Sephiroth: Fine. *The 40ish year old lady from the bar walks by* What do you think of my outfit?
Lady: It's impractical. Your outfit is all leather. You'd die of heat stroke in the summer sun. You also look like a hoodlum. And cut your hair.
(She leaves and Kuja's old man comes by)
Sephiroth: What do you think of my clothes?
Old man: No, I don't want a rose. Why do you people keep asking me?
(A 19ish year old girl comes by)
Sephiroth: Do you like my outfit?
Girl: I like it. Leather and silver hair is very sexy.
(She gets all clingy and Seph spends the next three minutes trying to pry her off. A little boy comes by a minute later)
Sephiroth: What do you think of my outfit?
Boy: *makes a face* Ewwwww...
Sephiroth: *takes out his masamune* What did you say?
Boy: AHHHH!!! Mommy!!
Raven: Sephiroth! Put that away, and run! I'm not bailing you out.
(You hear the mom yelling and police whistles and Seph takes off)
Raven: *sighs* Let's go back to Reno.
(Reno is sitting on a stool, propped up by the bar)
Reno: *talking into the beer bottle* Hey Raven, baby.
Raven: Reno, are you drunk already?
Reno: *tries to take a drink from the mic* Not at all.
Raven: *hand to her head* Kuja, how goes it?
Kuja: People still aren't up to my standards.
Raven: Kuja!
Kuja: Alright... *a group of ladies walk by* Excuse me, what do you think of my outfit?
Lady1: That's disgraceful. Women shouldn't wear such things.
Lady2: Are you a prostitute?
Lady3: Britney Spears wears more than you!
Kuja: They all think I'm a woman.
Raven: That outfit is a bit confusing, dear.
(A few men walk by)
Man1: *whistles* Looking good!
Man2: Are you a man? *Kuja nods* Where ever did you find that outfit?
Kuja: I made it.
Man2: I love it!
(Man1 slowly backs away and leaves disgusted that he whistled at a man. Man2 and Kuja start chatting about patterns and material)
Raven: Clutching her head* My headache is coming back... *sighs* Well this thankfully concludes fashion frenzy... I'm Raven Lynliss, and if any of you need bail money don't look at me... and this is FFLive.
(The theme starts to play and Raven reaches behind her chair, grabs the ice pack, and lies down on the couch with the ice pack on her head)
Ok, so that kinda sucked. Not exactly what I had in mind, but I had ideas for other things, and I rushed through this to get to the next project. Sorry. But all talk shows have an episode (or the entire premise) that suck. So sue me.
