When The Girls Are Away, The Guys Will- Raven: Oh No.
(It's a lazy Sunday around the Arena and Football is on, the
sound system blasting through the house. The women are nowhere to be found, but most of the guys are about. The Miami Dolphins QB is booking for the end zone, closely tailed by two of the Green Bay Packers. The Packers dive into each other, missing the QB and letting him get the game-winning touchdown. Hunter, Reno, Irvine, Kou, and Sion cheer, and Rufus, and Seifer groan. Dauragon, Seph, and Rude sit quietly and shake their heads. Fawkes laughs. Reno throws his beer can in the air, hitting the ceiling and knocking out the TV and
sound system. Everyone blinks.)
Hunter: Reno...Damn it...Who to fix it...Seifer!
Seifer: Oh no! Use the Cowboy Slut! Use Him! *His pleas go to waste, and before he knows it, he's been thrown through the ceiling.* Hey, I'm stuck!!!
Fawkes: *Laughs*
Rufus: *Laughs at Seifer* Hey, Daurie, you should be up there!
Dauragon: And you should have a chain embedded in your skull. I just can't get away with it when Rave's here. *he swings his chain as a demented grin spreads across his face* You have a 5 second head start.
Rufus: What-Oh.
(Rufus sprints off like a marathoner, with Dauragon in hot pursuit, chain swinging. They make several rounds about the room, and eventually they go past the small palm-like tree planted in the corner. Dauragon's swinging chain wraps around the palm, swinging it forward after Dauragon, doing a complete flip, and flipping Dauragon as well so that his head goes straight into the pot. Now upside down, Dauragon fires off every curse he knows. Rufus starts laughing and backpedals behind the TV, tripping over the cords and getting caught in them. He screams like a woman and begins struggling.)
Rufus: Turks! Help Me!
Fawkes: *Laughs Hysterically*
Rude: Did you hear something, Reno?
Reno: Nope. *Gulps his beer.*
Rude: Didn't think so. *Smiles.*
Irvine: Hey, We're outta beer...
Kou: Then we'll get more.
Irvine: But we don't have money!
Kou: You and Reno forget that I have a steady job that pays well.
Reno: Hell yes. Lead the way.
(The Three make their way for the laundry area downstairs, where Hunter put in a giant walk-in fridge. Kou opens the giant vault-like door and the entire back wall is stocked from top to bottom with booze. The three do a jumping white guy high-five, and slip on a large soapy puddle of water on the floor. They slide in three directions, with Reno crashing and flipping over backwards into the laundry sink, Kou going straight over into the washer, and Irvine bulleting into the dryer.)
Kou: Ow...
Hunter *From upstairs* What in god's name was that?!
(Hunter bounds over the stair guardrail, only to have his belt loop over one of the posts. He sits there hanging rather helplessly, and Rufus, from his point, begins to laugh.)
Sion: *Blinking at Hunter* How do you people do these things? *He looks at Rufus and starts to laugh.*
Rufus: I'll kill you! I swear! Just give me a shotgun, a helicopter, and body armor!
(Rufus furiously struggles and sparks fly from a few plugs, onto Sion's shirt, which lights up into flames.)
Sion: O_O! AGH! HEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
(Rude runs for the kitchen sink, grabbing the
little sink sprayer thingy, and tries to run towards Sion, but finds his hand is stuck to the counter in front of the sink. Sion screams some more, and then a glass full of water comes flying out of the kitchen, breaking over Sion's head, knocking him and the flames out. Rude shrugs and goes about getting his hand unstuck)
(Fawkes laughs, and Sephiroth looks around and shakes his head, eyes wide, and flips through TV channels quietly for about an hour, until Raven and Quistis come in the door. Quistis faints upon sight and Raven takes a deep, deep, breath.)
Raven: What the...? What did you guys do?! *looking at Sion* I mean, the shirtless hottie on the floor's not a bad touch, but my beautiful blonde boyfriend upside down in a pot?! What the hell happened? And who's in the ceiling?!
Rude: .... *Busy trying to pry hand off.*
Seifer: Hi Rave!
Raven: Oh, god...
Aeris: *From downstairs* WHY IS CLOUD HANGING FROM THE CEILING FAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Hunter: Dunno, hun!
Raven: *Hugs Seph.* You have no idea how comforting it is that one of you can stay out of trouble while we're gone. Even if it is you and Fawkes.
Fawkes: *Proud Laugh*
Seph: *Flips through channels, his eyes still as big as dinner plates. He nods.*
Reno: *From Downstairs* Hey Aeris! Can ya give me a lift outta here?
Aeris: *From Downstairs, again* Girls, you will not believe this. The Trio is stuck in the Sink, the Washer, and the Dryer.
Raven: *Hand to her head* If I hadn't already seen upstairs, I might not...
Hunter: We're not THAT bad!
Fawkes: *Rolls off the couch laughing.*
Raven: What he said.
Seph: *Worried glance and flip through channels.*
Raven: Now why has Daurie been so quiet?
Hunter: He probably passed out. He's been like that for a while. *Hunter unhooks his belt and falls on the stairs in front of Aeris* Hey, Babe.
Aeris: *Blink.*
Raven: o_o *she races for the pot and pulls Dauragon out* Dauragon! Speak to me!
Dauragon: Oh, for christ's sake, woman...I'm awake...
(Raven kisses Dauragon, and when she breaks away, she makes a funny look. Dauragon looks at her quizzically, and she blinks.)
Raven: I have dirt...on my lips...
Rufus: Ha!
Dauragon: I'm free, Rufus. You're not.
Rufus: Ha...Um...damn it. Turks!
(Reno, coming up the stairs drinking a beer and totally ignores Rufus. Rude shrugs and continues attempting to pry his hand off the counter.)
Sion: *Waking up* What the hell...? Where I am...? Who took my shirt...?
Seph: No. Not another Cloud. Please, not another Cloud.
Sion: Huh...?
(Seph dives over the couch to attempt killing Sion, but he is speared out of mid-air courtesy of Hunter.)
Hunter: Good timing?
Raven: Terrific. You know, I still haven't been told what happened. And will someone PLEASE get Seifer out of the ceiling?
