(It's a warm Saturday afternoon at the Arena and everyone is enjoying some R&R time, without an adventure, for now. Hunter, Zell, Cid, Barret, Rude, and Tseng are enjoying the new workout machines moved into the Gym part of the Arena. Raven is sitting next to the pool reading, and Red is sitting next to her, sleeping. Aeris, and Quistis are swimming, (the pool was already here, but just recently filled) and everyone else is about the Arena, doing other usual things. Of most note, Kou, Reno, and Irvine are sitting in the backyard tanning, and shooting people with super soakers.)
Cid: *On the treadmill, cigarette in mouth as usual* $#(@&$*@$#@(@&$@*#@$ *cough-choke* #$@$#@#(#@$&@#$*@((!!!! *collapses.*
Barret: *Lifting weights and panting* goddamn kids...You little punks just wait til' you're in your mid-thirties!
Zell: *hammering the heavy bag at the rate of several thousand punches a minute* Thirties ain't that old, big man!
Hunter: *maxing out the rowing machine* True. Someone *grunt* might wanna check on Cid.
Rude: *shrugs, drops the hundred pound weight he was holding, and pokes Cid in the side.*
Cid: *groan*
Rude: *gives a thumbs-up.*
Aeris: *resurfacing after a picture-perfect swan dive* The water's wonderful, Raven!
Raven: *not paying the slightest bit of attention* That's too bad.
(Aeris sighs and dives under for a few laps, and Quistis swims up to the pool's edge and squirts Raven with a squirt pistol she stole from Reno.)
Raven: *jumping* ACK! COLD!
Quistis: Hm?
(Quistis shakes the Water pistol and finds that there are ice cubes rattling around in it. Kou, Reno, and Irvine have all fallen from their chairs in a laughing fit, and Raven covers her chest with a towel. Aeris climbs out of the pool, Grabs her staff, and gives the three a solid whacking.)
(Heidegger and Palmer drive past the Arena wearing safari clothing. They're also both laughing, causing the excessively large truck to almost buckle.)
Heidegger: Gya Haa Haa! Chocobo!
Aeris: Oh dear...
Kou/Reno/Irvine: *shielding heads* What?
(Aeris has already gone inside, and she's screaming at Raven and Quistis)
Aeris: Heidegger and Palmer are hunting chocobos!!! We have to stop them! Quisty, can you call Seph, Vincent, Dauragon, Sion, and Squall?
Quistis: Yeah, I'll handle it... *She climbs out of the pool*
Aeris: *turning to Kou, Reno, and Irvine, who are staring at Quistis. *she taps her foot for a moment, then whacks all three upside the head.* Go bring Raven out of her trance. I'll fetch everyone from the weight room.
Kou/Reno/Irvine: Ow... Gotcha!
(The three run over to Raven and start flexing, dancing around and the such. Raven is broken from her book reading trance, but just ends up right in another.)
Aeris: *Stumbling into the weight room* Guys! Heidegger and Palmer are going chocobo hunting! We have to stop them! *holding her nose* But shower first, okay guys?
Aeris: *gasps, then runs over and starts kicking Cid in the side* How Dare You!!!!!!
(Hunter, Rude, and Zell shrug, and Barret looks on, afraid Aeris will hurt him too. Rude and Zell head for guest rooms, and Hunter heads for his own. Rude reappears Just after Hunter finishes a short make-out session with Aeris.)
Hunter: Rude... you're back out in 2 minutes? How the hell do you do that?
Rude: *Shrugs.*
Aeris: And he even smells good. *turns to Hunter* which is more than can be said for you, buddy. Move it! Come on! *shoves Hunter out the door*
Rude: *Scratches head.*
Zell: OW! The shower's too hot!
Rude: *Shakes head.*
-Later-
(Dauragon and Raven are making out in a corner (This is becoming a common spectacle), Sephiroth and Vincent are standing next to each other, Sion is sitting on the couch talking to Tseng, Rude and Zell are talking about boxing tactics, and as per usual, Quistis has surrounded herself with Kou, Reno, and Irvine. Hunter is talking to Squall about something random, and for once, Rinoa is not with Squall.)
Red: I wish to know as to why I was awoken. I was having an enjoyable dream.
Aeris: *walking in, she whistles loudly* Here's the rundown!
Heidegger and Palmer have gone chocobo hunting! We have to stop them! We also need to make up a lot of time, So I say we carpool in Rude's pickup and have Sephy drive. Is everyone okay with that?
Rude: *Shrugs* Won't hurt the car.
Sephiroth: *Grins* I don't think I've ever done 120 in a pickup before...
(They all hustle out the car, and Sephiroth and Vincent climb in the front, and everyone else piles in the back.)
Raven: So how the hell did you get away from Annoyia, Squall?
Squall: *grinning* I told her I was going to the football game. *He looks in the direction of Quistis, Kou, Reno, and Irvine, and stops smiling*
Raven: Good idea, Squall. *she raises a brow toward Squall, seeing his reaction to the situation he looked at.*
Hunter: *talking to Rude and Zell* You know, you guys would make great professional wrestlers.
Zell: Huh? Really? Cool.
Rude: *Nods.*
Zell: So how d'ya figure, anyways?
Hunter: Easy. Physical enough, ya know. And you're fairly good freestyle wrestler, Zell. As for Rude, It's wouldn't particularly matter whether he was good at wrestling, because he's got the size to do anything to anybody.
Rude: *cracks neck and smirks.*
Vincent: *opening the little back window* We have caught up to them.
Sephiroth: HAHAHAHAHA! I just passed 130!
Vincent: Oh dear.
(Heidegger and Palmer turn off into the forest, and Seph slams on the brakes and follows them. Once inside the forest,
Heidegger and Palmer squeeze through the truck doors and laugh. Everyone piles out after them, and Zell is the first to reach the two. He jumps on Palmer's back and locks a chokehold on him, and Palmer begins to cough and choke, and passes out, falling on Zell.)
Zell: Ow...
Aeris: Sh*t!
(Everyone gasps)
Aeris: What?
Hunter: The word, dear... the word.
Aeris: What did I say?!
(Hunter whispers to Aeris and she faints.)
Hunter: Damn.
Kou/Reno/Irvine: My turn/Here we go/Let's rock!!!
(Kou is the first, and he leaps straight over Heidegger, kicking him in the head several times as he goes. After landing, he throws every kick in the book at
Heidegger, and eventually falls over exhausted.
Heidegger: Gya? *keeps walking.*
(Reno is next and he runs up behind Heidegger, shock rod at max power. He starts zapping
Heidegger, and stands there for a minute before he gets feedback, and falls over twitching.)
Heidegger: *Sniffs* Roast? *keeps walking.*
(Irvine is last and has run around Heidegger, and is about 75 feet away. He starts plugging
Heidegger with the Exeter, but nothing happens and he runs out of ammo. Before he reloads,
Heidegger is upon him and has trampled Irvine into the ground.)
Irvine: Ow...
Heidegger: Gya Haa Haa!
(Raven looks around, surprised the other guys haven't attacked yet, particularly Hunter.)
Raven: Guys?
Dauragon: I will not lend myself to such a task.
Red: I believe we need a plan.
Sephiroth: I'll get hi- wait, where the hell is my Masamune?!
Vincent: You mean you left it at home, Angel? *sigh* What shall we do with you?
Squall: If you guys think I'm gonna trash him, think again.
Hunter: We didn't think so, actually. Even the Lionheart probably wouldn't work. *chucks his kendo stick.* which means that has a snowball's chance in hell of working.
Sion: Can I go home now?
Rude: *Shakes head.*
Tseng: Why don't we set traps?
Hunter: Good idea.
Tseng: I know. So here's the plan...
(Tseng explains and everyone gets [or is dragged] back in the car and they drive a ways ahead of
Heidegger, and build a pit. Heidegger and a now awoken Palmer come walking along just as everyone has hidden, and they fall in the pit. However, the force of the impact shakes the dirt loose, and the pit turns into a crater.
Heidegger and Palmer walk out unscathed and laughing.)
Tseng: *Caught under a fallen tree* Ow... Help...
Red: That's one more out of commission. Perhaps I should try.
(Red attacks Palmer, sinking his teeth into Palmer's leg. However, the fat rebounds and Red's jaw is forced open hard. Red comes back whimpering, and he lies down and puts his paws over his head.
Hunter: *Pats Red.* You tried, man.
Sion: So why haven't we been able to stop them yet? They're just two fat guys.
Rude: *Shrugs.*
Vincent: I do not believe I can be of much help. Bullets do not bite, and I will not transform...
Sephiroth: and I don't have the Masamune...
Rude: *shrugs and walks over to Heidegger, makes fists, and lays a solid uppercut on the fat man.*
Heidegger: Gya...? *Falls over.*
(Sion and Hunter race over to Palmer, and dropkick him in the head from either side.)
Palmer: Huh...? *Falls over too.*
Dauragon: You three could have done that all along and you didn't? We wasted all this time out here for that!? *Swings chain.*
(Hunter, Rude, and Sion shrug.)
Dauragon: I WILL KILL YOU!!!! *Rushes toward them.*
Raven: Daurie, STOP!
Dauragon: *cringes.* NOT THAT NAME!
Raven: You know you really don't mind it. Now stop bothering them and let's just go.
Rude: One more thing. *He throws [yes, physically throws]
Heidegger and Palmer in the back of their truck and pushes it off a cliff.*
(Everyone blinks, then runs and gets in the car.)
Zell: Remind me not to make you mad, Rude... Ow... Ribs...
Tseng: You think you're hurting... christ...
(They all head back to the Arena to treat their various ouchies, and then head home to rest. They saved the chocobos, and got rid of
Heidegger and Palmer [or so we would hope]. That's the end of this adventure, and hopefully we'll be seeing another one soon. Buh-bye!)
