Humour

A constable nabbed four boys and charged them for gambling in a public place. He asked the first, "What were you up to?"
"Nothing Sir," replied the boy. "I just happened to be passing this way." "And you?" he asked the second boy.
"Sir, I was waiting for the bus."
The policeman turned to the third boy. "Sir, I don't even know how to play cards, how could I gamble on them?"
The constable let the boys go but caught the fourth boy who had the pack of cards with him. "Then it must be you who was gambling."
"No, sir, there was no one I could gamble with," he replied.

A woman sued her husband for deserting her.She had thirteen children aged 1 to 13. The judge asked her,"When did your husband desert you?" She replied, "Twelve years ago."
The judge was astrounded.He asked, "Then how do you have all these children?" The woman replied coyly. "Well, my husband kept coming back to say that he was sorry."

There was a man with lots of money in his bank. He was sticken with cancer and the doctors gave him just six months on earth. He had no relations and was eager to take his life's savings with him to enable him to live well in the next world. He consulted his friends and asked them how he could fullfill his wish. They told him it could not be done. But a lawyer said it was very simple. If the dying man transferred all his assets to the lawyer, he (the lawyer) would make out a cheque for the full amount and send it to him as soon as he died. This is exactly what he did. As soon as the man died, the lawyer made out a cheque in the name of the deceased's payee account. It was cremated with the corpse.

A proud father was very upset with his son's report card. The boy had been given a zero for english spelling. He confronted the teacher and demanded an explanation. She calmly asked the boy to write the word "coffee" on the blackboard. The boy wrote out kauphy. "You can see for yourself how bad his spelling is", said the teacher very triumphantly.

The boy's father refused to give in. "He has atleast got the number of letters right; six in each case. You could have given him some credit for that."

A JOKE doing the rounds of Delhi's diplomatic cocktail circuit, though slightly over the line of propriety, deserves to be told because it illustrates the kind of feelings that obtain between Indians and Pakistanis. It is said that the President of the erstvile Soviet Union was celebrating his silver jubilee. As head of State he desired that all countries acredited to it should present him with the best of its products. First came the American ambassador with a brand new Cadillac. The president graciously accepted the gift. It was followed by the British ambassador presenting the latest model of Rolls Royce. The president was delighted and desired that his thanks be conveyed to Queen Elizabeth II. The next was the ambassador of Israel. He had brought a new variety of elongated lemon developed in his country. The President was furious and ordered the lemon to be put up the Israeli's posterior. Then came the Indian ambassador. He presented a luscious Alphonso mango. The President was not amused and ordered the fruit to be stuffed up the Indian's behind. Having been subjected to the painful insult, the Israeli and the Indian ambassadors met in the lobby of the Kremlin Palace. The Israeli looked woebegone. The Indian was wreathed in smiles.

The Israeli asked the Indian, "How can you manage to look so happy after what has been done to you?"

The Indian ambassador replied, "You've no idea what is in store for the ambassador of Pakistan. He has brought the largest water-melon developed in his country.