Through his Mind's Eye

He watched from his thron-like armchair how Draco Malfoy, with a trembling hand, pointed his wand at the wandmaker Ollivander. “Crucio!“ the boy said weakley.

Nothing whatsoever happened.

Some of the assembled wizards laughed. It was arrogant laughter, full of despice for the Malfoy boy.

He watched him intensely. The boy was pale, afraid.

“You’ve got to mean it, Draco,“ Voldemort said softly. “Have another try.“

Draco Malfoy closed his eyes, then looked at Ollivander. The wandmaker was lying on the floor, clearly afraid. “Crucio!“ Draco said louder. A few sparks from the tip of his wand, but that was all.

“Lucius, your son is a disgrace,“ Voldemort hissed.

“Milord,“ Lucius said, clearly worried, “he’s young...“

“...and pretty,“ Macnair threw in, “as I suggested earlier, Milord, he could be of other use...“

“Yes, I remember, Walden...“ Voldemort said delightedly. “Use him!“

Macnair stepped forward and Draco, with panic written on his face, pointed his wand at him. “Don’t...“ he whispered.

Macnair halted in his step and mustered the boy. Then he turned his head, looking surprised to the left. An old trick, but the boy fell for it, gazed to where Macnair was looking. Quickly Macnair drew his wand, shouted “Expelliarmus!“ The boy lost his wand, Macnair caught it, then threw it aside. Quickly he crossed the floor between them. Draco instinctively took a step back, but Macnair’s fist collided with his face. Draco stumbled, and Macnair pushed him to the floor, then knelt down on the boy and started tearing his black silk robes.

Voldemort leaned forward in his chair. In his fascination he didn’t see Lucius moving until he was right next to Macnair, pointing his wand at his temple. “Leave my boy alone!“ he growled enraged.

Excellent! Voldemort pointed his wand at him, shouted “Expelliarmus!“ Lucius was thrown back by the impact of the spell, would have fallen if Severus had not caught him. Voldemort caught Lucius’s wand, twirling it in his fingers.

“Go on, Walden!“ he said coldly.

Macnair tore on the struggling boy’s robes, ripping the silk apart. White skin and a slender body slowly came into view.

“NO!“ Lucius roared and wanted to step forward, but Severus held him back with all his might. Voldemort felt a jolt go right to his groin. To make Lucius watch... or better, make him choose.

“If you don’t want your son to be raped by Macnair,“ Voldemort said softly, “we can sent for your wife instead... guess she’s in the Drawing Room...“

Lucius stared at him, horrified. “No,“ he groaned, “take me... not my wife, not my son....“

“Your wife OR your son, the choice is yours...“ Voldemort answered. Lucius’s face was pale as ashes, but he didn’t say a word. “Your son, then,“ Voldemort decided.

Macnair had been waiting with his fist in Draco’s robes. Now he turned to the boy. Draco tried to crawl away, but by doing so he also enlarged the crack in his robes. With a jerk Macnair pulled his hand back. Draco was only wearing dark green underwear now. Slytherin colours.

With despair on his face Draco made a fist and tried to beat Macnair, but he parried the hit with one hand, with the other he punched Draco’s face. Blood spattered. More beating followed.

Voldemort let his gaze travel over the assembled Death Eaters. Most of them were watching in rapt fascination. Severus still held Lucius back, his face unfathomable. Lucius’s eyes never left his son, tears streaming down his cheeks. Ollivander, who was still lying on the floor where they had thrown him, was watching, too, with a mingled look of disgust, fear and fasciation.

Draco was not fighting anymore when Macnair pulled off his underwear. He was rolled onto his flat stomach. Voldemort admired for a moment the beautiful back and the round halfglobes of his bottom. Definitively a pretty young man. Voldemort let out a hissing sigh. It was perfect. It was one thing to see something beautiful, but to see beauty crushed... It was a joy much worthier.

Macnair opened his robes and pulled out his erect cock. Then he kicked Draco’s legs apart, pulled him close at the hips and slammed in.

Draco screamed. His screams echoed from the walls when Macnair moved in and out in a fast, forceful rhythm. Voldemort took a sip of his wine while he watched. Finally Macnair came with a grunt, withdrew and stood up, wiping his bloodsmeared cock on Draco’s cast aside robes.

Glowing faces watched as Draco Malfoy curled up on the floor, crying.

“Who’s next,“ Voldemort pondered. His gaze wandered to Severus, who was still holding Lucius back. “Severus?“

Severus sneered, face twisted with disgust. “I prefer women,“ he spat.

Voldemort pondered on forcing him to do it, but Severus was doing such a good job lately... he decided against it. His gaze fell on Bellatrix, who was looking pleadingly at him.

“Bellatrix,“ he decided, “do your worst.“

“Thank you, Milord!“ she said, eyes glowing, then she quickly stepped forward and knelt down next to Draco. Gently she wiped a lock of blonde, sweaty hair out of his face. “Hush,“ she made, softly caressing her nephews shoulders, arms... Draco whimpered, but leaned into the touch at first. “Shhh,“ her hands wandered down his body, chest, stomach, reaching his groin.

Draco now realised what she was doing and tried to move away, but persistently she moved downwards, reached his flaccid cock.

“No!“ Draco moaned, half sitting up, and slapped her hand away. With a sweet smile she drew her wand and pointed it at his face. “Immobilus!“ she said.

Draco sank back to the floor, unable to move. Bellatrix pushed his legs apart and moved between them, then took hold of his cock again. Bellatrix knew how to touch a man’s cock, how to set his nerve endings on fire. There was horror on Draco’s face when his cock hardened under her nimble fingers. When it was sufficiently hard, she moved to sit on him, her skirt spread out on either side. Her face was enraptured when she impaled herself on him, when she started moving.

The Immobilus wore off after awhile. Draco made a fist and punched Bellatrix hard into the face. It didn’t seem to bother her much; with a mad giggle she came. Slowly she stood up, pointing her wand at him. “Crucio!“ she said sweetly.

Draco grew rigid and screamed in pain. Bellatrix watched him in fascination for a while, then let her wand sink. “That’s for hitting me,“ she said.

Voldemort let his gaze travel over the Death Eaters again. Severus was still holding Lucius back, but it didn’t seem neccessary anymore. Defeatledly, Lucius was standing still, crying openly. There were still Thorfinn, Yaxley, Dolohov, Wormtail... all of them looking eagerly at Voldemort.

Poor Draco, he’d have to endure a bit more...

“Thorfinn,“ Voldemort said. Next would be Yaxley, then Dolohov, and Wormtail last. And Voldemort was sure, the next time Draco would be able to cast an Unforgiveable...

Voldemort watched as Draco tried to crawl away from Thorfinn. The huge blonde man crouched down and pulled Draco close. His large, muscular hands roamed his struggling body. Rudely he pulled an arm behind Draco’s back to immobilise him, so he could probe and touch... Abdomen, cock, balls and that pretty bottom... Though already seventeen Draco looked obscenely small and young in the large man’s arms.


Harry woke up, bathed in sweat. He quickly switched on the light, looking around. He was in his bedroom in Privet Drive. In three days the Order of the Phoenix would pick him up from his uncle’s home.

Harry pulled his knees to his chest, his heart was beating rapidly. What a nightmare... If it had been a nightmare... Please, let this be a nightmare... not a vision.

But Harry couldn’t help thinking that what he had seen was probably happening right now... that Draco indeed was gangraped. Harry shuddered. He wouldn’t even wish this to happen to his worst enemy.


More than a year later

Harry leaned back in his chair. He was back at Hogwarts... The war was over and because he had missed the last school year, he was repeating it. As were Ron, Hermione, Neville and some students who had been hiding during Voldemort’s reign because they were Muggle-born.

Draco Malfoy was repeating the year as well. Of course, he had been a Death Eater. He had been acquitted, partly because Lucius had paid a fortune to the Ministry to keep his family out of jail, partly because Harry had given evidence on his behalf.

Draco had been very quiet during the last couple of days, as if trying not to draw any attention towards himself.

Harry watched him out of the corner of his eyes when Slughorn bustled into the classroom. “Harry, m’boy!“ Slughorn said.

Harry turned his head to listen to him.

“Now, first day of the year... Of course we’re all so glad...“

Another “We are so happy you saved the wizarding world“-speech. Harry was so fed up with them. But he smiled politely and pretended to be listening.


Harry was walking with Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny and Luna to the lake, discussing an essay they had to do for Transfiguration. The mood was relaxed, not even Hermione seemed to worry about their marks.

Harry’s smile froze when he saw Draco Malfoy leaning against a rock. Some Gryffindors were rounding him up, pointing their wands at him.

“What’s scum like you doing at Hogwarts anyway?“ the word-leader, a tall boy called Thunderbolt snarled.

Harry and his friends stopped, watching for a second.

Malfoy had his eyes downcast and was not trying to defend himself. He looked almost cataconic.

“Not so brave without his bodyguards,“ another boy said laughing.

Crabbe was dead and Goyle in prison. Draco was alone.

Thunderbolt smiled unpleasantly: “Conjunc... “

“Expelliarmus!“ both Harry and Hermione called before Thunderbolt could finish.

Thunderbolt was blasted off his feet, his wand flew high through the air and was caught by Harry. The other Gryffindors looked surprised at him.

“Leave him alone,“ Harry called.

“He was a Death Eater,“ Romilda Vane said.

“And he was acquitted because I gave evidence on his behalf.“ Harry replied.

The Gryffindor kids – all of them were a year younger than Harry – looked indecisive at him. Harry noticed that his friends all had their wands drawn.

“Malfoy’s not worth it,“ Romilda Vane said, “let’s go.“

The Gryffindors all left.

“Blimey!“ Ron said, “I never thought I’d ever defend Draco Malfoy from my own house.“

Draco was still standing at the rock, with an apathetic look on his face. “Thank you,“ he murmured, then turned around and walked away. Harry gazed thoughtfully after him. Malfoy seemed to be deeply depressed.


A few days later when Harry went through a corridor he saw Draco Malfoy again. This time he was threatened by Thunderbolt alone. Thunderbolt had him pressed against a wall, his wand pointing at his throat, hissing insults at him. Also this time Draco did nothing to defend himself, just looked apathetically.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave him alone?“ Harry said.

Thunderbolt glared at him. “Why the fuck do you defend him? He’s a Death Eater! He and his kind killed and tortured so many of our people!“

Following an instinct, Harry asked: “Who died?“

Thunderbolt took a step back, looking distressed. “My brother...“ he said.

Harry dimly remembered Florindel Thunderbolt, a boy of Percy’s age. “I see,“ Harry said, “but he won’t come back to life if you bully Malfoy.“

Thunderbolt looked insecurely at him, stammering “but... he...“

“When Ron, Hermione and I were caught by Death Eaters they asked Draco to identify us, so that they didn’t call Voldemort in vain. He pretended not to recognise us.“

Thunderbolt unwillingly took a step back, hissing at Malfoy, “you’re still scum!“, then walked away.

Harry turned to Draco, who was still standing at the wall. “Thanks,“ he murmured then started walking in the opposite direction of Thunderbolt. Harry followed him. The corridors were quite empty as most of the students had gone to Hogsmeade this saturday. “Why don’t you fight back?“ he asked.

“What use would that be?“ Draco asked. His voice sounded empty, full of resignation.

“What use...?“ Harry asked, non-plussed. “You can’t just let them do whatever...“

“They are more than I am,“ Draco said, “I’d have no chance anyway. So if I don’t fight them, maybe they stop sooner...“

Harry carefully looked around. They were alone in the corridor. Nevertheless he lowered his voice when he asked: “Did the Death Eaters stop raping you when you stopped fighting?“

Draco’s head jerked up, for the first time he looked alive: “What do you know about it?“

“I had a connection to Voldemort’s mind.“ Harry said. “Sometimes I saw what he saw... I had hoped it was a nightmare.“

Suddenly ashen in the face, Draco Malfoy stumbled back. He was breathing heavily. “If you tell anyone...“ he whispered.

“I won’t,“ Harry answered. “Though it might be good if you see a therapist specialized on traumata...“

“A what?“ Draco asked.

Oh, right, maybe they didn’t have therapists in the wizarding world. A shame, actually. “Nevermind,“ Harry said. He felt strangely helpless: what should he say to Draco now? “I’m sorry,“ he said, carefully taking a step closer.

Draco retreated until he was at the wall. There was fear written on his face.

Harry frowned. “I’m not here to hurt you.“

Draco looked aside. He was shaking slightly. “Why not?“ he whispered. “Everyone likes to do that.“

“I didn’t see Snape hurting you,“ Harry replied.

Draco shuddered. “Yeah, Snape was the only one who refused to...“ then he looked at Harry, “they didn’t beat me anymore when I stopped fighting. It was over much quicker with Yaxley, Dolohov, Wormtail... hope that answers your question.“ With that he pulled himself up and ran away.

Harry didn’t follow. Draco probably was not in the mood to talk now.


As far as Harry could see, Thunderbolt left Draco alone now. Harry kept watching Draco, in the Great Hall, during the lessons. Draco still seemed withdrawn, hardly saying a word.

“What’s up, Harry?“ Ginny asked one saturday morning during breakfast.

Harry noticed that he’d been watching the Slytherin table again. Slightly shaking his head, he said: “Nothing, I was just wondering about Malfoy... he seems depressed...“

“Why are you so worried about him?“ Ginny asked.

Yeah why? Harry could hardly tell her what he had seen. He shuddered when he remembered how Macnair had beaten the hell out of him before the rape, how Lucius Malfoy had been forced to watch...

Ginny looked at him with worry.

“It’s just... through my connection with Voldemort’s mind I’ve seen how he was tortured,“ Harry said under his breath, “because he was not able to cast an Unforgiveable.“

Ginny nodded in understanding. “Talk to him, then, after breakfast.“

“I doubt that he will want to talk to me.“ Harry said.

“Who else should he talk to?“ Ginny asked.

Harry cast a glance at the Slytherin table. Draco was sitting isolated, with much space between him and his neighbours.

Harry waited until Draco left the Great Hall then followed. Draco took on his expensive fur-lined Coat and went outside. Harry saw him walking towards the lake. Slowly Harry walked behind him, keeping a few yards distance. It was snowing slightly, white flakes dancing down upon them.

Harry finally reached Draco at the lake, where he was staring at the frozen surface. “What do you want?“ he asked softly without turning around.

Harry felt foolish, when he said. “Um, I wanted to check whether you’re al right.“

“Why?“ Draco asked.

“Because I’m worried!“ Harry called with a hint of impatience. Draco glanced at him, his face not betraying any emotion. “Really,“ Harry said, “I preferred it when you were nasty.“

For the first time in months he saw a hint of a smile on Draco’s lips. “I’m sorry to disappoint you.“

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment, then Harry said: “If you need someone to talk to... I anyway know what happened.“

“Talk...“ Draco repeated as if it was something he had never before considered.

Harry felt awkward. “Of course, you’ve probably already been talking about it at home...“

Draco shook his head. “We never mentioned it again.“

Harry was suprised. “Not once?“

Draco shook his head again. “Dad carried me into my room, Severus did some healing spells and brought me a few potions against the pain. I don’t even know whether they told Mum.“

“They pretended nothing ever happened?“ Harry asked.

Draco nodded. “It was easy at first to... not to forget, but not to think about it. I was busy with surviving, after all. But then, when his reign was over...“ Suddenly he looked at Harry as if he saw him for the first time. “I don’t know why I’m talking to you at all!“

Harry shrugged and watched Draco Malfoy go away. He didn’t have a clue what he could do or say to help Draco. If he could at all...


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