Disclaimer: They all belong to JK Rowling, I just borrowed them. They certainly
will be glad when I bring them back, because I'm a very sick person
Pairing: SS/LM
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Warnings: BDSM, auto-aggression
Category: Darkfic, Drama/Angst, lightened up with a healthy amount of Humour
Thanks a lot to hainuwele for beta-reading this giant!
Summary: Snape's time at university, when he meets Lucius Malfoy, Lord
Voldemort and other nice fellows
Highway to Hell, Chapter Fifteen: Redemption
By Ratwoman
[email protected]
>>Do not go gently into this dark night
Rave, rage against the dying of the light<<
Dylon Thomas, Dying of the Light
Severus woke early. Leaning on his elbows, he watched Lucius sleep. His silver
hair was spread out over the pillow. Severus loved Lucius's hair; unlike his own
it was smooth and soft like silk. Lucius was frowning slightly; who knew what he
was dreaming about, what troubles were hunting him.
Severus sighed and sat up. He had come to the decision to go to his uncle this
morning and ask him to forward the information he could give to the Aurors. That
was about all he could do. Of course, he would keep secret the names of his
friends. No one would know from him that Lucius was a Death Eater.
Lucius had been delighted by Severus's spontaneous visit last night. Severus had
forgotten to conceal his fresh cuts, but Lucius had licked the wounds clean.
Severus shuddered thinking about the hours he had spent in Lucius's bed. Lucius
was so intense-
Severus rose and went into the bathroom to take a shower. He left without waking
Lucius.
***
Severus Apparated in Diagon Alley, looking for number 112. He found soon that it
was the building at the edge to Knockturn Alley, a bit shabbier than most houses
in Diagon Alley. A shield at the house said that the lawyer's offices were on
the first floor.
Severus climbed up the stairs until he reached a wooden door with a shield
saying: //Nicolas Norton, Lawyer, Specialist for Misuse of Magic//
His heart beating in his throat, Severus knocked.
"Come in!" a female voice called.
Severus entered. A red-haired secretary with huge glasses was sitting at a desk.
"Can I speak to Mr. Norton?" Severus asked.
"Do you have an appointment?" the secretary said in a high-pitched voice.
"Um, no." Severus said.
The secretary looked sternly at him. "He is a very busy man. But I can give you
an appointment for... Thursday in a week."
"I can't wait that long!" Severus called out.
"What is it about?" the secretary asked.
"I'm his nephew."
The secretary looked doubtfully at him. "As far as I know, he does not have a
nephew."
Merlin, should he fail because of a secretary?
"I need to talk to him, now!" he said decidedly.
"No," the secretary just said, "he is in a meeting."
Severus looked at the door behind the secretary's desk. That must be his uncle's
office.
"I will wait here until the meeting is over." he said.
"I can't guarantee that he will have any time for you then." the secretary said,
but Severus waited stoically. For half an hour, for one hour... It must have
been a heated discussion behind that door, because from time to time he heard
his uncle shouting.
Finally the door opened and a small fat wizard got out. Obviously he was content
with the results, because he was smiling as he left.
"I'm going in now." Severus said, and ignoring the secretary's protests he
rushed in.
"I don't want to be disturbed!" his uncle hissed, bent over some papers.
Severus cleared his throat. He did not even know how to address his uncle.
Nicolas? Uncle? What a madness to ask help from someone he hardly knew!
Severus was about to turn and leave when his uncle looked up. "Oh, Severus!" he
said with surprise. "Sit down!" He gestured to the secretary to close the door
behind him.
His uncle's office was rather small, but elegant, with an ebony desk and several
armchairs for his clients, and books up to the ceiling. Flames crackled in the
fireplace
Severus sat down uncomfortably. His uncle watched him with interest, then asked:
"You don't look as if you were coming for a simple family visit."
Severus blushed slightly, then said: "You said I could call if I have a
problem."
"Yes, I said that." Nicolas Norton replied.
Now, how should he explain that huge problem? "What is your opinion about the
Dark Lord?"
"He's a lunatic." Nicolas Norton answered. "Why?"
Severus rolled up his sleeve to show his Dark Mark. Now it was done, now Nicolas
would either turn him over to the Aurors, tell him that he couldn't help him, or
offer his assistance.
Nicolas did nothing for a moment, just stared at the Dark Mark. Then, jumping
up, he exploded: "WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
HOW COULD YOU... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!"
For the first few moments Severus thought that Nicolas would call the Aurors any
second. Or that at least his secretary would investigate the noise. But maybe
she was used to him shouting a lot.
Nicolas calmed down after shouting for a while, then, recollecting himself, he
said, as if he had never had that outbreak: "Am I right to suppose that you want
out and that you came to me in hope for help?"
Severus nodded his head.
Nicolas sat down with knit brows: "As I see it, you have two possibilities:
first, you turn yourself over to the Aurors, make a confession and then hope
that they will be able to protect you from Voldemort."
Severus smirked. "Sounds for me as if you are not convinced of that
possibility."
Nicolas smiled briefly, then said, "Possibility number two: have you ever heard
of the Order of the Phoenix?"
Severus indeed had heard rumours about a mysterious Order of the Phoenix who was
opposing Voldemort, but no one knew who its members were. Some rumours said
Dumbledore was their leader, but even that was not certain.
"I heard about them." Severus answered.
"The Order always needs spies," Nicolas said, "but if Voldemort finds out..."
Then he would die a slow, cruel death. Was Severus willing to risk that? If it
would help to stop Voldemort, yes. "But how can I find the Order if I don't even
know where to search?" Severus asked.
Nicolas smirked.
"You... are a member of the Order?"
"Not exactly," Nicolas answered. "I just pass them information if I hear
something... as you've seen, my office is close to Knockturn Alley."
Severus sighed in relief. "Tell them you found a new spy."
Nicolas rose to his feet, but then said: "Are you sure? It's very dangerous!"
Severus nodded his head. Nicolas walked to the fireplace and threw green powder
into the flames. "Albus Dumbledore!" he said, "I need a word with you."
The rumours were true! Severus was not enthusiastic. Dumbledore had always
favoured the Gryffindors at school, especially Potter and Black.
Dumbledore's smiling face appeared in the flames. "Yes, Nicolas?" he asked
merrily.
"Can you come to London? Today?" Nicolas asked.
Dumbledore's expression became more serious. "Four o'clock." he said.
Nicolas confirmed the time and Dumbledore's face vanished.
Opening the door, he asked his secretary: "Do I have any appointments for four
o'clock?"
"Mrs Pinch, because of the Muggle Artefact..."
"Cancel it!"
***
After some starting difficulties, his talk with his uncle had worked out better
than he had expected. Severus could not undo his mistakes, but at least there
was a way he could secretly fight Voldemort. A way to redeem for killing Mill
and others.
A few hours later, Severus returned to his uncle's office almost trembling with
excitement. Nicolas was just bidding farewell to a client, but Dumbledore was
not there yet, so Severus waited with Nicolas in his office.
He still hardly knew anything about his uncle and vice versa. Nicolas looked
curiously at him, then said: "Had your decision of becoming a Death Eater
something to do with protesting against your father?" he finally asked.
"Partly," Severus answered evasively.
Nicolas was about to answer something when the door opened and the secretary
announced Dumbledore.
The Headmaster of Hogwarts entered the office, looking curiously from Nicolas to
Severus. "Hello Severus!" he said, "did you fare well after school?"
"Not really." Severus answered.
Dumbledore frowned slightly and sat down, looking questioningly at him, then at
Nicolas.
"You told me you needed a spy." Nicolas said, "Here's one."
Dumbledore looked really worried now. "You're a Death Eater?"
Severus looked embarrassed to the floor, unwilling to see the disappointment in
Dumbledore's eyes.
Dumbledore took a deep breath, then asked: "Why did you do that?"
Severus buried his head in his hands. "Do I really have to tell you the whole
story?"
"Yes," Dumbledore said without mercy.
Severus started with his childhood, how he had grown up in the shadow of his
dead father, of the pictures on the walls. Dumbledore was obviously truly
shocked to hear how obsessed his mother had been with Validus Snape and how
Severus had been crushed by the expectations put into him.
At first it was difficult to talk about it, but after a while Severus felt
relieved by letting it all out.
Then he told him that, at first unknown to him, his housemates were all Death
Eaters. He told Dumbledore that he had been introduced to the Dark Lord, and how
fascinated he had been. He told him about the murders both of wizards and of
Muggles. Dumbledore watched him closely, but Severus could see no judgement in
his face.
Except for Mill he avoided to mention any names. Mill's name rang a bell,
because Dumbledore asked if she was the girl that had been found dead a few days
ago.
"Yes," Severus hissed. "The Lord ordered us to kill her because she had refused
to murder some children." Looking up, he added: "She was a friend to me, and I
don't have many of them."
Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "So after her death you decided to turn
against Voldemort?"
Severus flinched slightly at the mention of the name. "Actually, her death was
only the last straw. I started doubting with the first killings."
Dumbledore sighed and looked sadly at Severus, then said: "It is true that we
need spies, and you are in a good position to gather information. But I must be
sure that you know the risks..."
"Stop telling me about the risks and dangers!" Severus snarled. "I know them
better than you!"
"Fine, then, we have our spy." Dumbledore looked relieved.
"Under one condition." Severus said, following a sudden inspiration.
Dumbledore looked at him in surprise.
"If the Dark Lord is defeated, I want the Malfoys to be spared from
retribution."
"The Malfoys?" Dumbledore asked, knitting his brow in confusion. "Friends of
yours?"
"My family." Severus answered.
Dumbledore looked searchingly at him. "Fair enough." he finally said. "If
Voldemort is overthrown I will use my influence to protect the Malfoys."
***
An hour later, Severus left Nicolas's office. It was a mild evening in October,
the sun was setting, bathing Diagon Alley in a warm red light.
Severus's heart was light. He had talked through the specifications of his work
for the Order with Dumbledore, how to send him messages, how to encode them so
that no one else would understand their meaning. Again, Dumbledore had reminded
him of the dangers, urged him to be careful. "In any case, follow Voldemort's
orders. It is better to have a murdering spy than to have no spy at all."
Severus knew, Dumbledore was right, but he wished it would be different. As it
was, he would still have to kill if ordered to do so. But at least, he was doing
all he could to stop Voldemort.
Even if it was to late to save Mill, he could try to save Draco.
***
THE END