Disclaimer: They all belong to JK Rowling, I just borrowed them. They certainly will be glad when I bring them back, because I'm a very sick person
Pairing: SS/LM
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Warnings: BDSM, auto-aggression
Category: Darkfic, Drama/Angst, lightened up with a healthy amount of Humour
Thanks a lot to hainuwele for beta-reading this giant!
Summary: Snape's time at university, when he meets Lucius Malfoy, Lord Voldemort and other nice fellows

Highway to Hell, Chapter Fifteen: Redemption
By Ratwoman
[email protected]

>>Do not go gently into this dark night
Rave, rage against the dying of the light<<
Dylon Thomas, Dying of the Light

Severus woke early. Leaning on his elbows, he watched Lucius sleep. His silver hair was spread out over the pillow. Severus loved Lucius's hair; unlike his own it was smooth and soft like silk. Lucius was frowning slightly; who knew what he was dreaming about, what troubles were hunting him.
Severus sighed and sat up. He had come to the decision to go to his uncle this morning and ask him to forward the information he could give to the Aurors. That was about all he could do. Of course, he would keep secret the names of his friends. No one would know from him that Lucius was a Death Eater.
Lucius had been delighted by Severus's spontaneous visit last night. Severus had forgotten to conceal his fresh cuts, but Lucius had licked the wounds clean. Severus shuddered thinking about the hours he had spent in Lucius's bed. Lucius was so intense-
Severus rose and went into the bathroom to take a shower. He left without waking Lucius.
***
Severus Apparated in Diagon Alley, looking for number 112. He found soon that it was the building at the edge to Knockturn Alley, a bit shabbier than most houses in Diagon Alley. A shield at the house said that the lawyer's offices were on the first floor.
Severus climbed up the stairs until he reached a wooden door with a shield saying: //Nicolas Norton, Lawyer, Specialist for Misuse of Magic//
His heart beating in his throat, Severus knocked.
"Come in!" a female voice called.
Severus entered. A red-haired secretary with huge glasses was sitting at a desk.
"Can I speak to Mr. Norton?" Severus asked.
"Do you have an appointment?" the secretary said in a high-pitched voice.
"Um, no." Severus said.
The secretary looked sternly at him. "He is a very busy man. But I can give you an appointment for... Thursday in a week."
"I can't wait that long!" Severus called out.
"What is it about?" the secretary asked.
"I'm his nephew."
The secretary looked doubtfully at him. "As far as I know, he does not have a nephew."
Merlin, should he fail because of a secretary?
"I need to talk to him, now!" he said decidedly.
"No," the secretary just said, "he is in a meeting."
Severus looked at the door behind the secretary's desk. That must be his uncle's office.
"I will wait here until the meeting is over." he said.
"I can't guarantee that he will have any time for you then." the secretary said, but Severus waited stoically. For half an hour, for one hour... It must have been a heated discussion behind that door, because from time to time he heard his uncle shouting.
Finally the door opened and a small fat wizard got out. Obviously he was content with the results, because he was smiling as he left.
"I'm going in now." Severus said, and ignoring the secretary's protests he rushed in.
"I don't want to be disturbed!" his uncle hissed, bent over some papers.
Severus cleared his throat. He did not even know how to address his uncle. Nicolas? Uncle? What a madness to ask help from someone he hardly knew!
Severus was about to turn and leave when his uncle looked up. "Oh, Severus!" he said with surprise. "Sit down!" He gestured to the secretary to close the door behind him.
His uncle's office was rather small, but elegant, with an ebony desk and several armchairs for his clients, and books up to the ceiling. Flames crackled in the fireplace
Severus sat down uncomfortably. His uncle watched him with interest, then asked: "You don't look as if you were coming for a simple family visit."
Severus blushed slightly, then said: "You said I could call if I have a problem."
"Yes, I said that." Nicolas Norton replied.
Now, how should he explain that huge problem? "What is your opinion about the Dark Lord?"
"He's a lunatic." Nicolas Norton answered. "Why?"
Severus rolled up his sleeve to show his Dark Mark. Now it was done, now Nicolas would either turn him over to the Aurors, tell him that he couldn't help him, or offer his assistance.
Nicolas did nothing for a moment, just stared at the Dark Mark. Then, jumping up, he exploded: "WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? HOW COULD YOU... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!"
For the first few moments Severus thought that Nicolas would call the Aurors any second. Or that at least his secretary would investigate the noise. But maybe she was used to him shouting a lot.
Nicolas calmed down after shouting for a while, then, recollecting himself, he said, as if he had never had that outbreak: "Am I right to suppose that you want out and that you came to me in hope for help?"
Severus nodded his head.
Nicolas sat down with knit brows: "As I see it, you have two possibilities: first, you turn yourself over to the Aurors, make a confession and then hope that they will be able to protect you from Voldemort."
Severus smirked. "Sounds for me as if you are not convinced of that possibility."
Nicolas smiled briefly, then said, "Possibility number two: have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?"
Severus indeed had heard rumours about a mysterious Order of the Phoenix who was opposing Voldemort, but no one knew who its members were. Some rumours said Dumbledore was their leader, but even that was not certain.
"I heard about them." Severus answered.
"The Order always needs spies," Nicolas said, "but if Voldemort finds out..."
Then he would die a slow, cruel death. Was Severus willing to risk that? If it would help to stop Voldemort, yes. "But how can I find the Order if I don't even know where to search?" Severus asked.
Nicolas smirked.
"You... are a member of the Order?"
"Not exactly," Nicolas answered. "I just pass them information if I hear something... as you've seen, my office is close to Knockturn Alley."
Severus sighed in relief. "Tell them you found a new spy."
Nicolas rose to his feet, but then said: "Are you sure? It's very dangerous!"
Severus nodded his head. Nicolas walked to the fireplace and threw green powder into the flames. "Albus Dumbledore!" he said, "I need a word with you."
The rumours were true! Severus was not enthusiastic. Dumbledore had always favoured the Gryffindors at school, especially Potter and Black.
Dumbledore's smiling face appeared in the flames. "Yes, Nicolas?" he asked merrily.
"Can you come to London? Today?" Nicolas asked.
Dumbledore's expression became more serious. "Four o'clock." he said.
Nicolas confirmed the time and Dumbledore's face vanished.
Opening the door, he asked his secretary: "Do I have any appointments for four o'clock?"
"Mrs Pinch, because of the Muggle Artefact..."
"Cancel it!"
***
After some starting difficulties, his talk with his uncle had worked out better than he had expected. Severus could not undo his mistakes, but at least there was a way he could secretly fight Voldemort. A way to redeem for killing Mill and others.
A few hours later, Severus returned to his uncle's office almost trembling with excitement. Nicolas was just bidding farewell to a client, but Dumbledore was not there yet, so Severus waited with Nicolas in his office.
He still hardly knew anything about his uncle and vice versa. Nicolas looked curiously at him, then said: "Had your decision of becoming a Death Eater something to do with protesting against your father?" he finally asked.
"Partly," Severus answered evasively.
Nicolas was about to answer something when the door opened and the secretary announced Dumbledore.
The Headmaster of Hogwarts entered the office, looking curiously from Nicolas to Severus. "Hello Severus!" he said, "did you fare well after school?"
"Not really." Severus answered.
Dumbledore frowned slightly and sat down, looking questioningly at him, then at Nicolas.
"You told me you needed a spy." Nicolas said, "Here's one."
Dumbledore looked really worried now. "You're a Death Eater?"
Severus looked embarrassed to the floor, unwilling to see the disappointment in Dumbledore's eyes.
Dumbledore took a deep breath, then asked: "Why did you do that?"
Severus buried his head in his hands. "Do I really have to tell you the whole story?"
"Yes," Dumbledore said without mercy.
Severus started with his childhood, how he had grown up in the shadow of his dead father, of the pictures on the walls. Dumbledore was obviously truly shocked to hear how obsessed his mother had been with Validus Snape and how Severus had been crushed by the expectations put into him.
At first it was difficult to talk about it, but after a while Severus felt relieved by letting it all out.
Then he told him that, at first unknown to him, his housemates were all Death Eaters. He told Dumbledore that he had been introduced to the Dark Lord, and how fascinated he had been. He told him about the murders both of wizards and of Muggles. Dumbledore watched him closely, but Severus could see no judgement in his face.
Except for Mill he avoided to mention any names. Mill's name rang a bell, because Dumbledore asked if she was the girl that had been found dead a few days ago.
"Yes," Severus hissed. "The Lord ordered us to kill her because she had refused to murder some children." Looking up, he added: "She was a friend to me, and I don't have many of them."
Dumbledore nodded in understanding. "So after her death you decided to turn against Voldemort?"
Severus flinched slightly at the mention of the name. "Actually, her death was only the last straw. I started doubting with the first killings."
Dumbledore sighed and looked sadly at Severus, then said: "It is true that we need spies, and you are in a good position to gather information. But I must be sure that you know the risks..."
"Stop telling me about the risks and dangers!" Severus snarled. "I know them better than you!"
"Fine, then, we have our spy." Dumbledore looked relieved.
"Under one condition." Severus said, following a sudden inspiration.
Dumbledore looked at him in surprise.
"If the Dark Lord is defeated, I want the Malfoys to be spared from retribution."
"The Malfoys?" Dumbledore asked, knitting his brow in confusion. "Friends of yours?"
"My family." Severus answered.
Dumbledore looked searchingly at him. "Fair enough." he finally said. "If Voldemort is overthrown I will use my influence to protect the Malfoys."
***
An hour later, Severus left Nicolas's office. It was a mild evening in October, the sun was setting, bathing Diagon Alley in a warm red light.
Severus's heart was light. He had talked through the specifications of his work for the Order with Dumbledore, how to send him messages, how to encode them so that no one else would understand their meaning. Again, Dumbledore had reminded him of the dangers, urged him to be careful. "In any case, follow Voldemort's orders. It is better to have a murdering spy than to have no spy at all."
Severus knew, Dumbledore was right, but he wished it would be different. As it was, he would still have to kill if ordered to do so. But at least, he was doing all he could to stop Voldemort.
Even if it was to late to save Mill, he could try to save Draco.
***
THE END
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