Disclaimer: They all belong to JK Rowling, I just borrowed them. They certainly will be glad when I bring them back, because I'm a very sick person
Pairing: SS/LM, also to a smaller extent SS/SB
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Warnings: BDSM, auto-aggression
Category: Darkfic, Drama/Angst, Humour
Lots and lots of thanks to hainuwele for beta-reading! You are great!
Summary: Snape's time at university, when he meets Lucius Malfoy, Lord Voldemort and other nice fellows
Highway to hell, Chapter One: Home, sweet home
By Ratwoman
[email protected]
>>Farewell, happy fields,
Where joy for ever dwells! Hail, horrors! Hail,
Infernal World!<<
John Milton, Paradise Lost
Levitating his trunk behind him through the Entrance Hall of Hogwarts, Severus
Snape looked around, watching all the chattering kids, the younger children being
abundant with joy at having holidays, his fellow Seventh Years being torn
between joy and sadness as they were saying goodbye to one another, promising
to stay in touch.
Potter and his gang were surrounded by a huge group of Gryffindors and some
Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, who all wanted to hug their heroes before they left
school forever.
Severus sneered and made his way through the Hall, out of the castle and
towards the Hogwarts Express. It was the last time he had to take the train. The
last time he had to put his feet onto Hogwarts grounds. Merlin, how he hated that
place!
Not quite as much as his home, actually. Yet Severus's heart felt light as he got
on the train. He had survived the last seven years, so he would also survive the
few months before he could leave home for university.
"Hey, Sev!" Evan Rosier called from the compartment he was sharing with
Avery, Wilkes, Lestrange and his girlfriend Bellatrix. "Sit with us!"
That group of Slytherins had formed a gang similar to the Marauders, with the
difference that Severus was on more or less good terms with them. He was not
really part of their little group, but he sometimes had been hanging around with
them, if he was in a good mood.
"What are you going to do now, Sev?" Evan asked as soon as Sev had settled
down.
"Apply for university." he answered shortly, "You?"
"Marry a millionaire!" Evan said laughing, "at least that's what I'd like to do."
"First of all, I'm going to do nothing!" Wilkes called. "Nothing at all, just lying in
the sun!"
The train ride was a rather pleasant one, except that the Marauders thought it
funny to throw a few Dungbombs into their compartment as a farewell present.
Were they ever going to grow up?
Severus was not really glad when the train arrived at platform 9 and three quarters
in London, but not because he had to leave his almost-friends. He'd have to stay
with his mother for a few months before university started.
"Sev, you've got my address?" Evan called after him. "Owl me, yes?"
"Sure," Severus called back. He did not have Evan's address, but he knew
anyway that Evan just asked out of politeness. Evan and his gang had tolerated
his presence for the benefit of the potions he could brew for them, he knew it.
Snape sighed when he saw his mother come bustling towards him, her raven hair
flying behind her. She was rather... difficult.
"Sevvie!" she called, hugging and kissing him. Snape hated that.
"Oh Sevvie, I know you're too old for that, but I'm always so glad to see you.
You're all I have." she whined.
Severus felt a lump in his throat. He knew what would come next.
"You really have your father's eyes, you know that?" she said.
"Yes, mom," he answered patiently. She had told him at least a thousand times.
Severus silently put his trunk into the car. On the car drive home his mother was
talking incessantly about how lonely she was since his father's death.
Finally, she remembered that he had graduated today. "And how did you come
off, dear?"
Severus told her.
"Oh, that's... good. You're almost as good as your father was."
Severus rolled his eyes. "I'm at the top of my year!" he snarled. Along with
Potter and Black.
"Of course, dear." his mother answered.
Severus felt slightly nauseated as they arrived at the Snape Mansion and
reminded himself that he would only have to stay until September.
His mother was still talking when he unloaded the car. Severus did not listen, and
she did not notice. When they entered the house, the pictures of his father
everywhere on the walls reminded him that he really had his eyes. That was all he
had inherited from the handsome, athletic Auror with the light-brown curls and
the bright smile.
"Did you already decide what you are going to study?" Veena Snape asked.
"My best subjects at school were Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts."
he answered.
His mother beamed at him. "Your father took DADA as a major! He would be so
proud if he knew that you follow in his footsteps."
Severus wanted to scream at her that he was not willing to follow his perfect
father's footsteps, that he was not going to be an Auror like him, that he was fed
up with standing in his shadow. He said nothing of this, just stayed quiet, longing
to be alone and to bleed.
Severus yawned demonstratively. "I'm tired from the long train ride, mom. If you
don't mind, I'll go to my room now."
"Of course, dear, we'll have all summer to be together." she said smiling.
Severus wondered whether she really did not know how threatening that sounded
to him.
*
His room was the only one in the mansion that was not plastered with pictures of
the late Validus Snape. Severus sat down on his bed, shaking slightly, reminding
himself that he only had to stick around here for a few more months, then he
could leave. He was an adult now.
Severus opened one of his bags, took out a knife and rolled back his left sleeve.
Cutting his skin, he felt immense relief washing through him. It was as if his pain
and fears were washed out with the blood that was running down his arm in small
rivulets.
He had been fourteen when he had found this way to find relief in stressful
situations, or to punish himself if he did something wrong. The only reason why
his arms and legs were not covered in scars was that he knew a recipe for a scar-
averting salve that he could easily concoct himself. And as long as the cuts were
fresh he used a Concealing Charm. No one had ever noticed what he did. No one
could say that he was stupid.
*
Severus owled his application for university straight on the next morning. The
sooner he got his acceptance letter, the easier his weeks at home would be to
bear. Severus spent as much time as possible either in his room or going for long
walks. They lived in Wales, near the coast. He loved strolling along the shore,
listening to the monotonous roaring of the waves and the laughter of the seagulls.
He felt at peace when he was alone with nature.
At home there was no peace. The moving pictures of his father everywhere were
virtually stifling. His father flying on a broom, the snitch in his hand - of course,
he had been the best Quidditch player when he was at school. Pictures of his
parents' wedding, pictures of their honeymoon, pictures of his father surrounded
by a huge group of equally bright smiling friends, pictures of his father receiving
uncountable awards for his victories over Dark Wizards. Pictures of his father
doing sports, the sun light accentuating his athletic muscular body. His mother
also had kept old editions of Witch Weekly where he was the winner of the Most
Charming Smile Award.
His mother could spend hours telling him over and over again stories about his
father, how she had fallen in love with him at Hogwarts, how she at first couldn't
believe it when he told her that he returned her feelings, how they had engaged
and married, how Slytherin had always won the Quidditch Cup as long as he had
been at Hogwarts, how he had graduated from school as the best of his year,
how he had left university with top grades and how he had become the most
successful Auror of his time, a legend even while he was still alive.
Severus hardly had any memories of his own about his father; he had been two
when his father had died shielding a witch and her child from the attack of a Dark
Wizard. A Hero's Death, what else?
Barely listening to his mother's endless tirades of how noble, strong and
intelligent his father had been, Severus wondered how he could ever live up to his
example? How could he ever be what was expected of him? How could he fulfil
the hopes and dreams his mother projected onto him?
He didn't have anything in common with the good-looking, athletic man with the
charming smile, who had been admired and loved by everyone who met him.
Severus hated it when people asked him if he was not the son of the famous
Auror Validus Snape. He could see in their eyes how they compared him, the thin
boy with the greasy hair and the sullen look on his face with his perfect father,
and how he always came off badly. There was no doubt, Severus was a failure.
*
A few weeks later the acceptance letter from university arrived. Severus was
thrilled, his mother was sad.
"So, you'll leave in September, will you?" she said softly. With alarm he saw her
pale eyes lighten up as she had an idea. "But, you're able to Apparate, aren't
you? You could just live here and Apparate each day to university, wouldn't that
be great?" Severus felt panic rising. "It would also be cheaper." she added.
No! Severus hastily searched his mind for reasons why he couldn't stay. "I... I
need to have time and quiet to learn, I could not concentrate here with so many
things to distract me!" he said, cursing the hysteric edge to his voice. The
pictures on the walls grinned down at him.
His mother looked disappointed. "Well, you're right." she said sadly. "I have to
accept that you're big now."
Severus had the sudden desire to strangle her. Instead he went to his room and
released rivulets of blood.
*
Severus studied the announcements for rooms in the city near the University of
Magic in the Daily Prophet.
//Flatmate searched. We're three Gryffindors and two Hufflepuffs...// No, that
one was out of the question.
//Room for rent, no Slytherins, please...// ok, that one neither.
//One room gets free to the new term in our shared house, 20 galleons per month,
kitchen and bathroom to share. No Gryffindors, no Hufflepuffs.//
That seemed ok. Severus walked over to the fireplace, threw powder into the
flame and called the given name.
The head of a freckled, not especially pretty girl with glasses and red-blonde
curls appeared in the green flames. "Yes?" she asked.
"Hey, er, my name is Severus Snape." Severus answered. "I'm calling because
of the room..."
"Oh, yes, you want to see it?" she asked with a beaming smile.
"Um, yes," Severus answered.
"What house were you in?" she asked.
"Slytherin."
"That should be ok." she answered. "Can you come over right now?"
"Um... yes," he said.
"See you in a second." Her head dissappeared.
Snape took a handful of Floo Powder, threw it into the flames, stepped in and
said the address. A second later he stepped out of the fireplace of the house that
might become his home for the next couple of years.
"Hi, I'm Carmilla Campanella." the girl standing in front of the fireplace said.
Severus nodded at her and brushed off some ashes.
"This is our kitchen!" she said, pointing into the room. It was bright, with a
stove, a large cupboard and a table, at which six people could sit.
"How many people live here?" Severus asked.
"Four." Carmilla answered. "I'm the only girl." She grinned as if she enjoyed
immensely being alone among men. "The others are Sebastian Goyle, don't ask
me what he studies, Lucius Malfoy, he's almost finished university, and Walden
Macnair, who is moving out in a few days, so it's his room you'd be living in."
"What do you study?" Severus asked curiously.
"Arithmancy and Astrology. And you?"
"Potions and DADA."
"Sounds cool." she called. "I'll show you around, ok?"
Severus followed her out of the kitchen into the small corridor. "That's Lucius'
room." Carmilla said. Knocking at the door, she added, "He'll want to know
who might be moving in."
The door opened and a tall man with long silver-blonde hair appeared in the door
frame, naked from the waist upwards. Severus knew Lucius Malfoy, he had been
at Hogwarts in his fifth year when Severus came there. Lucius was even more
beautiful than Severus remembered. Judging from the look on his face, Lucius
did not remember Severus, but that was no surprise; why should he remember
someone who was five years younger?
"Yes?" Lucius asked.
"This is Severus, he wants to move into Walden's room." Carmilla said.
Lucius cast a disinterested glance at Snape and asked: "Slytherin?"
"Yes," Severus answered.
Out of Lucius' room a male voice called his name. "Oh, you have a guest."
Carmilla noticed with a smirk. Lucius smiled wickedly, then said: "If you excuse
me now... Severus has my permission if he wants to move in."
With these words Lucius closed the door.
Severus smirked. "He must be an aristrocrat, judging from his manners."
Carmilla snickered. "He's quite nice, if you get to know him better. But beware,
his great grandmother was a Veela."
Severus noticed that Carmilla had pointed ears. "And you are of fairy descent?"
Carmilla nodded her head. "My mother is a forest fairy and my father a
wizard. Unfortunately I don't have wings, but like my mother I can change my
height." To prove her words, she grew a few inches, until her head slammed
against the ceiling. "Ouch!" Carmilla called and shrunk back to her former size.
Severus snickered. He would either enjoy his time here immensely or get mad
within a week.
Carmilla showed him the rest of the house, led him to the first floor where a
huge bathroom and the rooms of Carmilla and Sebastian Goyle were.
Goyle had also been in Slytherin, a few years above Severus; he remembered him
as someone whom he had never heard saying a word. Carmilla, on the other
hand, had been in Durmstrang.
Finally she showed him his room, which was in the attic. Walden Macnair was
still there, packing his personal belongings into big boxes. He did not remember
him from school, though he had also been in Slytherin.
Severus noticed that Carmilla was uncharacteristically cold to Macnair. Well, that
was not really one of Severus's concerns.
"Is the furniture included?" Severus asked.
"Yeah, except of that commode, that's mine." Macnair answered.
The room was rather big, but the sloping walls took away some of the space.
Severus could well imagine living here, it had a bed long enough for him, a desk
and a cupboard of ebony and, most importantly, a big bookshelf.
"When can I move in?" Snape asked.
"I should be ready to leave within an hour." Macnair answered.
"You won't need it before September, will you Severus?" Carmilla asked.
It was end of July now. "Um, if possible I would move in in August."
"Great!" Carmilla said in surprise, "then we won't get in trouble with paying the
rent."
Perfect! Then Severus could leave home in a few days!
*
"HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME!" Veena Snape screamed, tears running
down her face. "There's one month left until the term starts, why do you have to
move out now?"
"I... I have to get prepared." Severus answered. "I have to find out where the
rooms are, where the library is..." He knew how weak his arguments were.
"Why should you need more than a few days for that!" his mother wailed.
Anger welled up in Severus. "Because I'd rather DIE than spend one more day in
this house!"
His mother stared at him in shock.
"How can you talk like that to your mother!" one of the pictures of his father
threw in.
Severus's head started throbbing. It was bad enough to be constantly
surrounded by moving pictures of his dead father, but it nearly drove him insane
when they started talking.
Knowing that his mother would not let him leave so soon, Severus had not told
her that he had signed the contract for August the first. Of course, now that he
had announced that he would leave today, here and now, she made a terrible
scene.
"You won't get a penny from me, Severus," his mother hissed, "you'll have to
pay that room of yours all by yourself."
So now she was trying to threaten him with withdrawal of monetary help. Severus
smirked. "There's one thing you've forgotten, mom. I'm eighteen now. I have
access to the account dad left me at Gringotts."
With those words he Disapparated.
*
TBC