By Ratwoman
“CRUCIO!”
Severus doubled over in pain. At least it didn’t last long, Lord Voldemort soon finished the curse.
Severus looked up through the curtain of his hair when Voldemort stepped closer, pointing his wand at him.
“Wormtail tells me you’ve changed sides, Severus,” he hissed.
“No,” Severus said, “but I’m not surprised it looked like that to him.”
Severus felt Voldemort violently penetrating his mind, searching for clues. Now it would show whether his Occlumency abilities sufficed for a wizard like Voldemort. Severus carefully hid treacherous memories behind a wall and instead shoved some pictures he had invented earlier in front. Severus had carefully visualized scenes he wanted to show Voldemort, in vivid detail, as if he really had lived them. Pictures of him being devastated after Lord Voldemort’s downfall. Scenes of how rumor said that an anonymous traitor had told Dumbledore that He Who Must Not Be Named knew the Potters were in Godric’s Hollow. How Severus went to Dumbledore and told him he had been the anonymous informer in order to stay out of Azkaban. How he had stayed at Hogwarts to be in a perfect position to spy for Lord Voldemort if he ever returned.
“So, you want me to believe that you assumed the role of the traitor, while no one knows who it really was? To be able to spy for me when I return?” Voldemort hissed.
Macnair and Wormtail, who were standing close-by, were looking confused; of course, they had not seen the pictures Severus had shown the Dark Lord.
“Legilimens!” Voldemort whispered, and Severus felt him once more penetrating his mind, once more searching it for things Severus might hide from him.
“And what about Lily Potter? And Sirius Black?” Voldemort said when he let the wand sink. “I heard you’re a couple.”
Severus snorted. “He’s handsome, I like fucking him. And the more they trust me, the better. I’ve always believed in your return, waited steadfastly until I can show the world my true self again…”
“So, if you’re not the traitor, who else?” Voldemort interrupted.
Severus shrugged. “Maybe Wormtail, he was Potter’s friend…”
Voldemort’s head turned as quickly as a snake’s towards Peter Pettigrew. Peter took a step back… “No… Please… I’d never…”
“Crucio!” Voldemort called.
Pettigrew fell to the floor, writhing in pain. Voldemort turned back to Severus, who was still kneeling on the ground. “I couldn’t find any falsities in your mind, Severus,” he whispered, “but then, you’re a very talented wizard, even in the field of Occlumency. My apologies if you turn out to be innocent,” he said mockingly, “but a bit of pain will make it harder for you to use Occlumency to hide things from me – Macnair, take him to the next room. But no permanent damage!”
Macnair quickly stepped towards Severus, grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into the next room.
While being dragged away, Severus saw Voldemort turning to Wormtail. “And now to you… CRUCIO!”
***
Macnair pulling his hair hurt, but Severus knew, there was much worse to come. Macnair was a notorious sadist.
“Levicorpus!” Macnair called.
Severus was turned upside down hanging in the air. He wished he had never invented that spell; it had traveled so fast in the wizarding world. “NUDUM!” Macnair said.
Severus closed his eyes in denial when his clothes disappeared to reappear in a stack a few feet away. Being naked and dangling upside down before Macnair was the last thing he wanted.
Severus opened his eyes, saw Macnair stepping closer to him. Actually he only saw his knees. Looking further up, or down, he saw Macnair drawing a knife.
“You know, Severus,” Macnair said, “those Cruciatus Curses are all very well - but I prefer handmanship. Nothing better than a good sharp knife.” With that he flipped the blade across Severus’s stomach.
A sharp pain, then Severus felt warm blood flowing down his stomach. Down meaning across his chest, as he still was dangling upside-down.
“You’re such a romantic, Macnair,” Severus sneered. “Such a hang for Muggle methods…”
Macnair ignored him and more cuts followed, on his legs, stomach, chest, backside… some shallow, some deeper. Severus was panting when Macnair crouched down to face him.
“How do you feel, Severus?” he wanted to know. Severus glared at him. Macnair smiled and slowly touched the bloody blade towards Severus’s cheek, not cutting. Severus held still, even holding his breath.
“This really turns me on,” Macnair whispered. “I’d like to ravage you now, but if you turn out to have told the Dark Lord the truth, that would be… regrettable. But if you’re the traitor we thought you were, I’ll ask the Dark Lord if I may play a bit longer… a few weeks maybe…”
Macnair let the blade travel along Severus’s throat, then over his chest. With a sinister glowing in his eyes he cut deep, deeper than before, raking the blade over Severus’s ribs. Severus groaned in pain, felt blood gushing out of the wound.
Macnair pointed his wand at the wound and murmured a healing spell. Instantly the gash closed. “Magic has its advantages. You can keep people alive much longer,” Macnair said as if he was explaining a cooking recipe. Then he pushed the knife deep into Severus’s stomach.
Severus howled in agony as skin and muscles and inner organs were cut through. Macnair watched his pained expression for a few moments, turning the knife around and around. Then he withdrew it and undid this wound, too, with a healing spell.
Severus did not know whether he should feel relieved or scared when the door opened and Voldemort came in. “Finite Incantatem!” Voldemort said, pointing his wand at Severus.
Severus fell hard to the floor and stayed there crumpled for a moment.
“You can go, Severus,” Voldemort said, “Wormtail confessed everything.”
He did? Severus tried not to betray his surprise when he looked up. Probably Peter Pettigrew had just confessed to things he had never done in order to escape torture. Severus crawled to where his robes were lying and quickly put them on.
“Severus,” Voldemort said. He looked up and saw Voldemort throwing his wand to him. Quickly Severus caught it, then pointed it at Macnair.
“CRUCIO!” Severus called. Macnair fell to the floor, convulsing and screaming. After a moment he ended the curse and left the room. Macnair did not try to curse him back.
Looking around in the shabby living room, he saw Peter Pettigrew lying dead in a corner.
“Oh, and Severus,” Voldemort said, “splendid idea, to convince the old fool Dumbledore that you’re trustworthy.”
Voldemort was watching him closely, so Severus conjured up pictures in his mind of sneering at Dumbledore’s follies behind his back.
“You may take your leave now.”
Severus nodded, bowed and disapparated.
***
Severus Apparated in front of Sirius Black’s flat. Strange how Sirius of all people had become someone he could turn to. Severus rang the bell and moments later Sirius opened the door.
“Sev!” he called, beckoning him in. Right after closing the door behind him, he hugged him tightly. Despite the pain of his wounds Severus hugged him back, hungrily looking for comfort.
“Severus!” another, female voice called. Lily was here?
Severus disengaged from Sirius and looked at her, standing in the corridor at the door to Sirius’s living room, her red hair shining in the light. Behind her, James was standing, nodding curtly at him. Lily quickly stepped closer, green eyes wide.
“You’re bleeding,” she said, touching his cheek. That was probably not even a cut, only the blade had been bloody.
“It’s nothing,” Severus said. “Nothing an ordinary spell can’t fix.”
“Come, we’ll take care of it…” Lily offered.
Severus smirked and quickly glanced at James. “I doubt that your husband will want to see me naked.”
***
Sirius was shocked when Severus, after they had retreated into the bathroom, took off his clothes. There were cuts everywhere, arms, legs, chest, stomach, back, buttocks. “Why did Voldemort do that?”
Severus flinched at the mention of the name, but said: “That was Macnair, the Dark Lord prefers the Cruciatus.”
Sirius shuddered. These cuts were definitively to prefer, yet… Muttering some healing spells, he closed the wounds on Snape’s back and bottom while Snape took care of his front. Then he hugged Severus from behind. “I’d be devastated if something happens to you,” he whispered.
Severus leaned back into the embrace, and said: “I think Lily and James are waiting.”
Sirius smirked. Severus was about the least romantic person he knew.
***
Sitting on Sirius’s couch in the living room, James watched Snape and Lily carefully.
“What happened?” Lily asked, looking sorrowfully at Snape.
“I went back to the Dark Lord,” Snape told her, “of course he knew that someone had told Albus that you and James had to move from Godric’s Hollow. He suspected me.”
James narrowed his eyes. How had Snape managed to get his head out of the noose? And why was Snape once again looking at Lily as if he was trying to drink her picture with his eyes?
“I told him, or rather used Occlumency to convince him, it was an anonymous informer and that I had told Albus it had been me. I suggested that maybe Wormtail had got scruples and warned you.”
“And he believed that?” James asked.
Snape shrugged. “Wormtail confessed everything.”
James blinked. “Why would he do that? Did you secretly put an Imperius on him?” Or maybe, it really had been Wormtail and not Snape who had informed Albus…
“I think he confessed everything to escape the torture,” Snape said. “He’s dead now, the Dark Lord killed him.”
Sirius looked sadly at the floor. James felt hollow, too, Peter had been their friend after all, once… Even if for no other reason than that Peter had followed them everywhere and admired them and thus fueled their vanity.
Now he was dead… and what if Snape had told Voldemort the truth by saying it was Peter who had warned them? James decided to risk getting in trouble with his wife.
“How can we be sure you didn’t tell You-Know-Who the truth when you said that Peter was the traitor?”
As expected, Lily looked disapprovingly at James.
Severus did not look angry, just gazed calmly at James. “There is no proof,” he said, “I can only tell you that we’ve got one thing in common, we both care a lot about Lily and…” Snape hesitated, then looking surprised he added: ”… Sirius. I wouldn’t want to see them hurt so why should I betray you?”
James stared at him, unsmiling: “I, too, don’t want to see them hurt, so you better not betray us, Severus.”
***
Sirius thoughtfully watched Severus sleep. His lean body was smooth and clean, as if those angry gashes had never been.
James and Lily had left; tomorrow Harry would come home for the summer. Sirius had seen how Severus had looked at Lily. Obviously he still loved her. Then again, it probably meant a lot that Severus had admitted today that he cared for Sirius, too.
Yet Sirius wondered, if Lily would ever leave James – not that that was likely to happen – would Severus then leave him to be with Lily? There was only one answer – yes, he would.
***
After two weeks of holidays his parents told Harry that they would move to the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix for the rest of the vacation. Ron and Hermione were coming too, and Neville of course. Harry was excited and happy – all vacation with his friends.
Of course, the reason why they were to move was a bit worrying – Neville had been attacked by two Dementors that were only just fought off by his grandmother.
***
Neville was still shaken while he and Granny were waiting for some Aurors to pick them up. He had momentarily lost consciousness, heard voices screaming his name… He somehow knew, he had remembered the moment his parents had died, even if he did not remember them consciously… He had just known… Outside noises and lights were seen.
“That will be the Aurors,” Granny said, pointing her wand at their luggage to make it float in the air. “Come, Neville.”
Neville followed her outside. There was Mad-Eye Moody, the real one this time. A girl with pink hair, a huge black wizard and Sirius Black on his motorbike. Sirius winked at him and said: “Want to sit on my bike?”
Granny looked disapprovingly at him, “That doesn’t look safe…”
Sirius shrugged. “Neville survived a meeting with Voldemort, he will also survive riding my bike behind me.”
Neville decided he would, no matter what Granny said and walked over to Sirius to sit behind him. Granny looked disgruntled, but mounted her broom anyway. Moody admonished everyone not to break formation, no matter what, and up they went.
***
Harry did not like the house. It was gloomy, dark, and scary. The more it surprised him when his dad told him it belonged to Sirius.
However it was great to spend the vacation with his friends, Hermione, the Weasleys, Neville… And Tonks, Sirius’s cousin, was just cool. And on the first evening, Molly Weasley was just serving dinner, Sirius, who was watching Neville thoughtfully, made an interesting suggestion.
“Now that Voldemort is back,” Sirius said, “it might be a good idea if we, James, Lily, Remus, Tonks and I, spend some hours each day teaching the young ones defensive spells.”
Harry and his friends were excited, but Molly Weasley was angry. “They are only children! You can’t teach them fighting spells just now!”
“They are not children! The youngest one is fourteen!” Sirius snapped, looking at Ginny.
“No, Sirius, they are…”
Lily interrupted Molly Weasley coolly: “I cannot decide for your children, but I want my boy to be prepared for the coming war.”
Mrs Wealey looked searching for help to Mrs Longbottom, but the old lady said: “I think Lily is right. I did not raise my grandson to watch him die in battle. Do your best, Sirius.”
Mrs Weasley looked uneasy, but finally nodded, wiping tears from her eyes. Harry and Ron grinned at each other. They’d be taught to fight by members of the Order – cool!
***
“That’s fine, Ginny!” – “Don’t swash your wand so much, Neville – don’t worry, you’ll make it!” – “Yeah, very good Harry!”
Almost no day passed without some members of the Order teaching the students in Sirius’s garden. The teachers changed, depending on when who could spare some time.
One evening, Sirius, Remus and Tonks practiced the Patronus with them. Neville had asked especially for practicing that spell because he had been attacked by two Dementors.
Harry was a bit frustrated. Ginny already had managed to form a fully formed Patronus, while his was only a silver cloud. As if that was not enough, he saw Snape entering the garden by stepping over the fence. There was another meeting of the Order of the Phoenix this evening, but why did Snape have to arrive early each time? Of course, the answer was more obvious than Harry wished for.
Sirius grinned broadly at Snape, then called: “Hey, Severus! I suspect that you gave me a love potion again, ‘cause I can’t wait to get you into my bedroom.”
The twins tried in vain to look innocent, while Ron and Hermione blushed. Harry was rather angry: he suspected Snape of really using a love potion on Sirius, and that he was really spying for Voldemort and fucking Sirius for information.
Snape didn’t look very jovially at Sirius, but said: “You mean that room you plastered with Gryffindor colors? You’ll have to blindfold me to get me in there.”
“Ok,” Sirius said quickly. “Remus, Tonks, I’m sure you’ll do fine without me.” Snape looked perplexed for a moment, obviously he had not expected Sirius to take him literally.
Harry’s heart raced in anger as he watched Sirius and Snape walk towards the house. How he despised Snape… And almost everyone who was important to him seemed to like him. First his mum, then his godfather… at least Snape had not yet drawn his dad towards his side, probably never would. If that wasn’t a happy thought…
“Expecto Patronum!” Harry called. And indeed: a silver stag broke from the tip of his wand and galloped towards Snape. Snape turned round, looking at the Patronus that faded into thin air long before it could reach him.
“A stag, Potter?” Snape called. “Your father will be soo proud.” The way he said it made it sound like an insult.
***
Severus Snape was lying on the bed in deep darkness. At least he could still move, as Sirius had only tied his wrists to the bedposts.
If someone had told him 15 years ago that he would ever allow Sirius Black to blindfold and tie him, he’d called them complete nutters… Maybe he was going crazy, letting Sirius do that. Sirius, who had played all kinds of cruel jokes on him at school. What if all this was just another prank? Severus fought rising panic. It was very unreasonable to assume that Sirius would fall back into his old behaviour just now…
Severus sharply inhaled when he felt Sirius’s fingers move in featherlight touches over his skin. “Nervous?” he heard Sirius ask.
“No,” Severus replied.
“Liar,” Sirius said, then started licking Severus’s neck, while his hands were traveling down his side, along his thighs. A soft moan escaped Severus’s lips. Not knowing what Black would do next was unnerving. And arousing.
***
First Day of School, September 1995
Pink. That woman was wearing pink. And she had that ridiculous bow on her head, and she was smiling such a disgustingly sweet smile.
Severus darkly watched the new DADA teacher, who was sitting a few feet away from him at the Staff Table. Maybe he was biased against her, he had hoped that Sirius would get the post of the DADA teacher, but then, as Albus had told him, the Ministry had interfered and sent them their own teacher. And she was wearing pink.
Albus was holding his welcoming speech, and when he mentioned the two new teachers, Professor Umbridge stood up. “Hem, hem,” she cleared her throat. Albus looked taken aback for a second, but then he sat down, gazing at her as if he was looking forward for her speech.
With a girlish, high-pitched voice, she said: “Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking up at me!”
Actually, the students were not looking happy at her, rather taken aback at being talked to like five-year-olds. “I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all and I’m sure we’ll be very good friends!”
“Certainly not,” Severus murmured. Professor Flitwick, who was sitting right next to him, almost choked on his pumpkin juice.
“The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards of vital importance…” It was a dull speech, but one could hear between the lines that the Ministry was intent on interfering at Hogwarts: “progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged…pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited…”
Severus had been right to instantly dislike her… not just because she was wearing pink.
***
If there was any teacher Harry hated more than Snape, it was Umbridge. All those years Defence Against the Dark Arts had been one of his favourite subjects, but she spoiled it all. They were not learning defensive spells, they were just reading about them. And when Harry asked how they should defend themselves against Voldemort and the Death Eaters, she told him that he was mistaken: Voldemort was not back, and Neville, she said, was either mad or lying.
Neville paled with anger and Harry started arguing with Umbridge until she gave him detention. And no detention he had ever suffered with Snape had been as bad. He had been forced to write “I must not tell lies” with a quill that was using his own blood. The scars were still visible on the back of his hand.
Now Harry and his friends were discussing what to do. They couldn’t prepare for Voldemort, if they didn’t learn anything.
Hermione suggested Neville, who had fought Voldemort several times, to teach them, but Neville looked completely horrified at the prospect. So they finally decided, that Harry, Hermione and Neville as a team would teach whoever was interested in learning. So they could pass on what they had learned on vacation from the Order, and they could also practise the spells.
They met with some interested students at the Hog’s Head, mostly students from Gryffindor, also some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. They were very doubtful at first – the Daily Prophet wrote after all that Neville was nuts. But his calm, quiet narration of Voldemort’s return convinced them otherwise, and at the end most of them subscribed to form “Dumbledore’s Army”.
***
She was not only wearing pink everyday, now she had been promoted to “High Inquisitor” by the Ministry. In the old days, inquisitors had been Muggles who were hunting witches. Actually, Umbridge WAS hunting witches…
Today she was visiting his class. "You will notice," he said, when the students had settled down, "that we have a guest with us today."
Severus gestured toward the dim corner of the dungeon, where Professor Umbridge was sitting, clipboard on her knee, smiling sweetly. How he despised that woman.
"We are continuing with our Strengthening Solutions today, you will find your mixtures as you left them last lesson, if correctly made they should have matured well over the weekend – instructions" – he waved his wand again –"on the board. Carry on."
Professor Umbridge spent the first half hour making notes in her corner, then she got to her feet and strode between two lines of desks toward Severus, who was examining the contents of Dean Thomas’s cauldron.
"Well, the class seems fairly advanced for their level," she said briskly. "Though I would question whether it is advisable to teach them a potion like the Strengthening Solution. I think the Ministry would prefer it if that was removed from the syllabus."
Severus straightened slowly and turned to look at her. What was wrong with something as useful as a Strengthening Solution? – Of course, Fudge did not seem to want the students to learn anything useful.
"Now…how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?" Umbridge asked.
"Fourteen years," Severus replied.
"You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Professor Umbridge asked.
"Yes," said Severus quietly.
"But you were unsuccessful?"
"Obviously," Severus replied sarcastically.
Professor Umbridge scribbled on her clipboard, then asked: "And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?"
"Yes." Severus would have liked to strangle her.
"Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?" asked Umbridge.
"I suggest you ask him," Severus said jerkily. Maybe strangling would be a way too nice death for her.
"Oh, I shall," said Professor Umbridge with a sweet smile. "And is it true that you are a homosexual?“
"No,“ Severus replied.
"Then you don’t have a relationship with the Auror Sirius Black?“
"I do,“ Severus answered. "But what has my privacy to do with my teaching abilities?“
"Oh, the Ministry wants the Hogwarts teachers to be an example in morals to the students. So, of course it is relevant whether they have healthy relationships, or whether they show the loose sexual morals of a bisexual...“
"I assure you,“ Severus interrupted angrily, "that I agree with your disapproval of teachers leading a promiscuous lifestyle.“
"I’m glad that we understand each other,“ she said briskly, then turned away, walked over to Pansy Parkinson and began questioning her about the lessons. Severus knew that Pansy was very fond of him, she would not say anything compromising.
***
2 days before Christmas
Albus had asked Sirius to stay at the Headquarters of the Order, so that it was constantly occupied. Sirius really hated that house. It was gloomy, it was dark, and his mum’s portrait was yelling constantly. If at least Severus was here, but he had much less time this year, having to go when Lord Voldemort called him.
So when Neville Longbottom and the Weasleys were brought to the House of Black in the middle of the night, Sirius was rather welcoming the distraction. Even if he had to argue with little Miss Ginny Weasley at first.
Mr Weasley had been taken to St. Mungo’s. Neville had had a vision in which he had seen how Mr. Weasley had been attacked by a huge snake. Fortunately he had been found in time to be taken to the hospital.
Ginny had wanted to go to St. Mungos right away, but Sirius brought her to her senses – better if Voldemort did not know how fast his family had been informed, or he’d get suspicious about how they had found out.
Now Ginny was sitting on a couch, with her head on the shoulder of a pale Neville Longbottom. Ron, entirely the jealous brother, was glaring suspiciously at them from time to time. The rest of the brothers were rather hiding their nervousness about their Father’s condition behind light conversation.
It was the early morning hours when Mrs. Weasley arrived, looking tired and worn. After she had assured her children that their father was alive and would get out of hospital in a few days, she said, looking apologisingly at Sirius: "That’ll mean we’ll have to stay for Christmas...“
"Fine,“ Sirius said, smiling at her, "I would have visited Lily and James otherwise, but maybe they can come over, too.“
"Oh,“ Molly looked surprised. "I thought you would celebrate Christmas with Severus...“
Sirius smirked: "I asked him, but he says he hates Christmas even more than Valentine’s Day.“
Molly looked slightly taken aback, as if she could not understand how anyone could hate Christmas. Having a happy family and having grown up in a healthy environment, she probably could not imagine that some people did not have happy memories connected with these holidays.
Severus had not told Sirius much about his childhood, just mentioned something about not having cried a single tear at his father’s funeral. Sirius didn’t ask further, maybe Severus would grow more open as time went by.
***
New Year’s Eve 1995/1996
This year Lily was giving a New Year’s Eve party as well, not willing to let Voldemort’s return spoil the mood. Arthur Weasley was out of hospital now; he was still looking sick, but he and his family were here. She had invited Tonks, too. Usually she would have thought Tonks might be a candidate for her trying to find Snape a girl, but now, of course, she would not do that anymore. Instead Tonks was sitting in a corner with Remus, deep in conversation.
Harry had invited two girls, Cho Chang and Luna Lovegood. Now he was constantly trying to impress Cho. Lily smiled; he reminded her of James at that age. Just that James had been a really spoilt brat and only had come to his senses in sixth or seventh year. Compared to that, Harry was really reasonable.
Sirius was sitting on a couch with Severus, one hand leisurely on Snape’s knee, while he was talking to Mad-Eye Moody. Actually, Lily thought Severus and Sirius were quite cute together.
Then Severus rose and walked over to Neville Longbottom, saying something to the boy whereupon he followed him into the kitchen. Now Lily was curious: what was that about? But she knew better than to try to overhear them; if Severus wanted their conversation to be secret, no one would hear them.
***
"You wanted to talk to me, sir?“ Neville asked nervously when Snape had closed the kitchen door and murmured some spell.
"The headmaster asked me to tell you, Longbottom, that it is his wish for you to study Occlumency this term," Snape said.
"Study what?" Neville asked.
Snape sneered. "Occlumency, Longbottom. The magical defense of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one."
“Why does Prof. Dumbledore want me to study it?” Neville asked miserably.
"Because the headmaster thinks it a good idea," said Snape. "You will receive private lessons once a week, but you will not tell anybody what you are doing, least of all Dolores Umbridge. You understand?"
"Yes," Neville said, and added with a sense of foreboding: "Who’s going to be teaching me?"
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I am."
Neville felt as if he would faint. What could be more horrible than having to have extra lessons with Snape?
Snape watched him closely. “I assure you, I am as unhappy about that arrangement as you are. I will expect you at six o’clock on Monday evening, Longbottom. My office. If anybody asks, you are taking Remedial Potions. Nobody who has seen you in my classes could deny you need it."
Neville nodded. This was the worst New Year’s Eve of his life.
***
"Shut the door behind you, Longbottom."
Severus watched the boy closing the door timidly. Severus gestured for him to sit down the chair opposite his desk.
"Well, Longbottom, you know why you are here," he said. "The headmaster has asked me to teach you Occlumency. I can only hope that you prove more adept at it than at Potions."
To his surprise, Neville did not look to the floor, blushing, but looked him unblinkingly in the eye. Was the boy finally developing some backbone?
"Now, Occlumency. As I told you back in Lily Potter's kitchen, this branch of magic seals the mind against magical intrusion and influence."
"And why does Professor Dumbledore think I need it, sir?" Neville asked.
Could he really be that naïve? Severus looked back at him for a moment and then said contemptuously, "Surely even you could have worked that out by now, Longbottom? The Dark Lord is highly skilled at Legilimency..."
"What's that? Sir?"
"It is the ability to extract feelings and memories from another person's mind."
"He can read minds?" the stupid boy asked.
Why was he always surounded by morons, Severus wondered. "You have no subtlety, Longbottom," said Severus. "You do not understand fine distinctions. It is one of the shortcomings that makes you such a lamentable potion-maker."
He paused for a moment, then added: "Only Muggles talk of ‘mind reading.’ The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by any invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing…or at least, most minds are…" The Longbottom boy looked really angry now. "It is true, however, that those who have mastered Legilimency are able, under certain conditions, to delve into the minds of their victims and to interpret their findings correctly. The Dark Lord, for instance, almost always knows when somebody is lying to him. Only those skilled at Occlumency are able to shut down those feelings and memories that contradict the lie, and so utter falsehoods in his presence without detection."
Now the boy looked scared. "So he could know what we’re thinking right now? Sir?“
"The Dark Lord is at a considerable distance and the walls and grounds of Hogwarts are guarded by many ancient spells and charms to ensure the bodily and mental safety of those who dwell within them," said Snape. "Time and space matter in magic. Eye contact is often essential to Legilimency."
"Well then, why do I have to learn Occlumency?"
A good question, for a change. "The usual rules do not seem to apply with you, Longbottom. The curse that failed to kill you seems to have forged some kind of connection between you and the Dark Lord. The evidence suggests that at times, when your mind is most relaxed and vulnerable - when you are asleep, for instance - you are sharing the Dark Lord's thoughts and emotions. The headmaster thinks it inadvisable for this to continue. He wishes me to teach you how to close your mind to the Dark Lord."
He paused then added:
"It appears that the Dark Lord has been unaware of the connection between you and himself until very recently. Up till now it seems that you have been experiencing his emotions and sharing his thoughts without his being any the wiser. However, the vision you had shortly before Christmas represented such a powerful incursion upon the Dark Lord’s thought..."
"How come I saw through the snake’s eyes if it’s you know who’s thought I’m sharing?"
"You seem to have visited the snake’s mind because that was where the Dark Lord was at that particular moment," snarled Snape. "He was possessing the snake at the time and so you dreamed you were inside it, too…"
"Did he realize I was there?“ The boy asked with wide eyes.
"It seems so," said Snape seriously. "Now that he is aware that you are gaining access to his thoughts and feelings, he has also deduced that the process is likely to work in reverse; that is to say, he has realized that he might be able to access your thoughts and feelings in return."
"And he might try and make me do things?" asked Neville.
"He might," said Snape. "Which brings us back to Occlumency."
Severus was not yearning to teach the boy he thought to be almost a squib, but there was not helping it. "Stand up and raise your wand.“
***
Months later
Another weekend when Severus had time for a visit. Sirius lay next to him in bed, languidly stroking his sides. Severus did not look happy. There were shadows under his eyes. No wonder, there had been a mass breakout from Azkaban, Dumbledore had been sacked and Umbridge had been made headmistress. Sirius knew how Severus despised her. And his work as a spy...
"You look terrible,“ Sirius said.
Severus glanced slightly irritated at him. "Thanks,“ he said sarcastically.
"Worried about Albus?“
"Not much,“ Severus replied, "I know where he is.“ Sirius felt slightly jealous; Albus had not told him where he was hidden. "I’m more worried about that Umbridge-thing,“ he snarled, "that she’s taken over the school. At least she didn’t yet paint the walls pink.“
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "What a picture! And how are your Occlumency-lessons with Neville progressing?“
Severus stared perplexedly at him. "How did you learn about it? I told Longbottom not to tell anyone...“
"Don’t worry, he only told Harry, Ron, Hermione...“
Severus groaned in frustration: "And they told their friends, their parents, godfathers... and soon it will travel to the Dark Lord’s ears and I’ll have to convince him that I’m really just trying to extract information from the boy’s mind...“ He put a hand to his forehead with a pained eypression.
Sirius decided it was better to distract Severus from his worries and started licking his nipples, while his hands moved to the insides of his thighs, coming near but not quite touching his groin. As usually, it worked quite well in making him forget everything.
***
"How are your Occlumency lessons going?“ Hermione asked Neville one evening, while they were doing homework. Harry looked up, instantly interested. In Neville’s opinion, Harry had become quite obsessed with the thought that Snape might in reality be spying for Voldemort, not for Dumbledore. Hermione thought differently; after all, Snape even had a relationship with Sirius Black. Harry on the other hand thought, Snape was just "fucking Sirius for information“. Neville grinned inwardly when he remembered how Hermione had once answered "then it would make more sense to fuck Dumbledore for information!“ Ron, Harry and Neville had been quite shocked at that suggestion.
"I’m lousy at Occlumency,“ Neville said, "though, last time, I made some progress.“
"Really?“ Hermione asked, beaming at him. "You could shut him out?“
"Not exactly...“ Neville answered, "but he made me angry, and then I suddenly saw some scenes from HIS life...“
"Blimey!“ Ron said, "what did you see?“
"Just pictures,“ Neville said quietly, "Snape’s father backhanding him, Snape being bullied at school...“
His friends looked embarrassed for a moment, then Ron gave a dry laugh. "Guess that’s why he’s such a bastard.“
Harry looked curiously at Neville. "Nothing else?“
Neville sighed. "No, nothing else.“ Harry was probably hoping that he had seen some evidence that Snape was really on Voldemort’s side. There was nothing like that. And Neville really did not want to tell Harry about the short scene of a teenage Sirius Black and a teenage James Potter attacking Snape out of the blue. It was a miracle that today he was friends with them.
"Wasn’t he angry with you, then?“ Ron asked worriedly.
Snape’s eyes had been blazing with rage, even though Neville had just seen a few seconds of each scene. But he had caught himself quickly. "Quite a bit,“ Neville answered, "but he said, it was some sign of progress. And that he had almost given up already on me learning anything.“
***
It was in their last OWLs exam, History of Magic. Harry saw Neville fainting, then being brought out of the Great Hall. He exchanged a worried glance with Hermione, then turned his attention back to his paper. But he could hardly concentrate any longer, waiting impatiently until the exam was over.
Harry, Hermione, Ron and Luna, who was hanging around a lot with them even after Umbridge had abolished Dumbledore’s Army, immediately started looking for Neville. They found him soon, looking worried and sick. He gestured them to follow him into an empty classroom.
"He’s got Granny!“ he burst out as soon as Luna had closed the door behind them.
"Who...?“
"Voldemort! I saw it!“ Neville was pale with fear. "In the Department of Mysteries... There is a room full of glass bulbs, and he is torturing her at row 97.“
Harry felt slightly sick. It was not past Voldemort to torture an old woman.
"And Dumbledore, McGonagall and Hagrid are all gone!“ Neville called out desperately.
"Snape is still here,“ Luna said dreamily.
Harry ignored her. "We must go there,“ Harry said, "maybe by broom or using Thestrals...“
"Don’t be silly,“ Hermione answered, "what we must do is go to Professor Snape and tell him...“
"Snape?“ Harry called. "Can we trust him?“
"As far as we know, we can!“ Hermione replied.
"But will he listen to us?“ Ron asked. At least he was on his side!
"He will listen to Harry,“ Hermione said, "because Snape is friends with his mum and his godfather.“
Neville slowly nodded his head. "We should go to Snape.“
Harry gave up protesting; maybe they were right. And if Snape refused to do anything, they could still think up something else.
Harry and his friends virtually ran towards the dungeon, ignoring the surprised faces of the students they passed, then hammered against Snape’s office door. The door flew open, and Snape stood there, white with anger. "What?!?“ he barked.
Harry cleared his throat and said. "Neville had a vision... They got his grandma.“
Snape’s eyes narrowed suspiciously but he stepped aside to let them in. Harry knew the gloomy, sinister office from detentions he had had to spend there. There were papers on Snape’s desk. It looked like he was marking homework.
Harry felt very uncomfortable there.
Snape stared at Neville. "Where?“ he just asked.
"D...department of Mysteries. In a room with glass globes, row 97. He’s torturing her.“ Neville answered.
Snape stepped behind his desk and opened a drawer, pulling out a mirrow. A mirrow? But then he spoke to it. "Sirius Black“.
Sirius’s face appeared in the mirror. Harry curiously stepped closer.
"Hello Sev,“ Sirius said, "what’s up?“
"Neville Longbottom just had a vision. He saw his grandmother being tortured by the Dark Lord in the Department of Mysteries.“ Sirius’s face grew serious. "First try to contact her in case that it’s a trap,“ Snape added. "Then report back to me.“
Sirius nodded, then his face vanished.
They waited in uncomfortable silence. Harry first avoided to look at Snape, but then he saw all those jars in his office with despicable things swimming in it. So he looked back at Snape. Snape was glaring at the students as if they had commited some crime.
Then Sirius’s face reappeared on the mirror. He was grinning all over his face. "Mrs Longbottom is fine,“ he said. "She says she is at home, alive and well.“
Neville breathed out in relief.
"Obviously Voldemort,” Sirius said, "has put that vision into Neville’s mind to lure him there.“
"Good,“ Snape said, gazing at Neville, who actually smiled at Snape.
"I’ll go contact James, Remus, Tonks and a few others,“ Sirius said. "We’ll go to the Ministry and look what kind of trap Voldemort has put up.“
"Do that,“ Snape said, "but be careful not to step into the same trap.“
Sirius grinned. "Don’t worry, Sev, I’m always careful.“ With that his face vanished.
Snape rolled his eyes, then turned back to the students. "You can leave now.“
They all hesitated for a moment, then Harry asked: "But, what about the Order going to the Ministry now. How do we know they are successful?“
"You’ll know when you don’t read their obituary in the Daily Prophet,“ Snape answered.
When Harry stared at him in disbelief, Snape sighed and said. "Come to my office in two hours. If I already heard from Sirius then, I’ll tell you.“
***
Tonks walked down the lines in the room with the Prophecies in the Department of Mysteries. Row 97, that’s where Sirius had said that Snape had said that Neville had said. There it was*** the row was empty, just as expected.
With a pounding heart Tonks stepped into the row, half-expecting hooded figures to appear any second. And there was the prophecy the Dark Lord was after.
S.P.T to A.P.W.B.D
Dark Lord
And (?) Neville Longbottom
Tonks reached out for the dusty ball, but instead of taking it conjured up another globe in her hand. If one had not watched carefully he might think she had taken it from the shelf. And indeed, a voice behind her said: "Very good, Longbottom. Now turn around, nice and slow, and give that to me.“
Tonks grinned inwardly. The guise worked well; she had taken Neville Longbottom’s form before entering the Department, to lure the Death Eaters after her. Pretending to be scared she turned around. To be honest, she was a little bit scared, even though she knew that Remus, Sirius, James, Lily, Moody and Kingsley were nearby.
Black shapes were emerging out of thin air around her, blocking her way to all sides. One of them took off his mask; it was Lucius Malfoy, aunt Narcissa’s husband.
"To me, Longbottom,“ he repeated, holding out his hand, palm up.
"Where’s Granny?“ Tonks asked with Neville’s voice, deciding to make them believe their plan had worked for as long as possible.
Several of the Death Eaters laughed; a female voice from the midst of the dark figures said in a mock baby voice "The little baby woke up frightened and fort what it dweamed was twoo!“
Aunt Bellatrix, Tonks realized. Then she saw more figures emerging from behind the Death Eaters. She hoped it was the order of the Phoenix, and not more of Voldemort’s followers.
"Leave the boy alone!“ James’s voice called.
Tonks grinned and used the surprise moment to shoot a "Petrificus Totalus“ at the nearest Death Eater, then jumped through the new developed gap.
The Death Eaters turned around shooting curses at the members of the Order. Many of them hit the balls with prophecys, so soon the air was filled with silvery, ghostlike figures reciting sentences they had said years, maybe centuries ago.
"And next solstice there will be a“ "another man will come“ "One day the sun will“ "In 2012..."
Tonks ducked away from a curse, then fired a hex at one of the hooded figures. It was a long, harsh fight, neither Death Eaters nor members of the Order were gaining the upper hand. Tonks saw Lily push Sirius aside, just a second before Bellatrix’s killing curse would have hit him. They both fell to the floor and the curse vanished above their heads.
Tonks breathed out in relief and wanted to hex Bellatrix for trying to kill Sirius, but she was gone. A second later she apparated right behind her, pointing her wand directly at the side of her head. "Don’t move, Longbottom!“ she hissed.
Tonks just now realised that she still looked like Neville. Bellatrix rudely grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of a door. She was pulled through a few corridors and into a rather big hall, when Tonks saw with a start Voldemort standing there.
"Exellent, Bellatrix,“ he said. "Longbottom, and the prophecy!“
Tonks realised just now that she was still holding the ball in her left. Looking into Voldemort’s cold red eyes, she wondered if now was the time to assume her own form. But maybe he would just kill her when he realised that she was the wrong person, so she just stayed as she was, hoping that someone would come and rescue her. Then Voldemort’s eyes widened, he stared at something past Tonks and Bellatrix.
"It was foolish to come here tonight, Tom,“ Dumbledore’s voice said. "The Aurors are on their way.“
"By which time I will be gone and you will be dead!“ spat Voldemort.
Tonks rammed her elbow in Bellatrix side, wrenched herself from her grip and ducked out of the way. Voldemort shot a killing curse at Dumbledore, which missed and hit a desk instead. Bellatrix ducked out of the way, too, and the wizards started to fight.
It was a fight unlike anything Tonks had seen in her short Auror career. The wizards were using hexes she had never seen before, the air was bristling with magical energy, furniture all around them burst to pieces.
It was almost too late when Tonks saw Bellatrix approaching her. Wand pointing at her, she was nearing, now only feet away from her. To confuse her, Tonks assumed her own shape.
Bellatrix stopped dead. "Nymphadora!“ she spat, then she screeched: "MASTER! It’s not the Longbottom boy!“
Voldemort quickly glanced at her, his face twisting in fury. He shielded himself from another attack from Dumbledore; only by a hair. Then Voldemort Disapparated.
Bellatrix did the same seconds after him.
Tonks just now saw Fudge standing at the door, staring at them open mouthed.
"H...he Who Must Not Be Named...“ he said weakly. "He’s back?“
Finally the Minister of Magic believed them!
***
Everything changed now; Dumbledore was reinstalled as Headmaster of Hogwarts, Umbridge was thrown out of school. And of course, everyone now believed Neville that Voldemort indeed was back.
It was not the first time Neville was called to Dumbledore’s office, still he felt excited. Dumbledore sat in his chair, looking as if nothing had happened.
"Sit down, Neville,“ he said. When he had followed the offer, he said. "I owe your an explanation.“
Neville looked surprised at Dumbledore, then listened to his explanation about the connection between his and Voldemort’s mind.
"Snape already told me, Sir,“ he said.
"Professor Snape,“ Dumbledore corrected. Then he explained to him how the prophecies in the Ministry of Magic were protected, that only those who they referred to could lift the globes from the shelves. That Voldemort, to retrieve the prophecy, had to either enter the ministry and reveal himself, or to lure Neville there to get it. "It became a matter of great urgency that you should master Occlumency.“
"I’m lousy at it,“ Neville said, "though, at one point I saw some pictures of Professor Snape’s life... Not very nice scenes...“
"What did you see?“ Dumbledore seemed slightly alarmed.
"Some scenes of his childhood, his father hitting him...“
Dumbledore seemed strangely relieved. Was there something about Snape’s past he rather not wanted Neville to know? "Yes, Professor Snape did not have a happy childhood. Anyway, we’re here to talk about you. It is time for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Neville. Voldemort tried to kill you when you were a child because of a prophecy made shortly after your birth. He knew the prophecy had been made, though he did not know its full contents. He set out to kill you when you were a baby, believing he was fulfilling the terms of the prophecy. He discovered that he was mistaken when the curse intended to kill you backfired. And so, since his return, he has been determined to hear that prophecy in its entirety.“
Dumbledore paused. "As it turns out, the record of the prophecy was among those that smashed when the Death Eaters and the members of the Order were fighting in the Department of Mysteries.“ Then he told Neville that the prophecy had been made sixteen years ago by Sibyll Trewlaney – in front of Dumbledore. He got to his feet and walked past Neville to a pensieve he had in a cabinet (Neville knew pensieves, one of his uncles had one). Dumbledore took the pensieve to the desk, placed it upon it and raised his wand to his temple. He withdrew a silvery strand of thought and deposited it in the basin. Then he raised his wand and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
The figure of a younger Professor Trewlaney rose from it and she said in a strange, harsh voice: "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...“
"It means,“ Dumbledore explained, "that the only person who had the chance of conquering Lord Voldemort for good was born at the end of July, nearly sixteen years ago. This boy would be born to parents who had already defied Voldemort three times. – The odd thing is, that Sibyll’s prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course, was you. The other one was Harry Potter.“
"But“ Neville burst out, "But Harry would have been a much better saviour of the wizarding world. He’s brave, he’s a good wizard, he...“
"Harry is a fine boy,“ Dumbledore said, "but Voldemort himself marked you as his equal. There is no doubt that you are the one.“
"He’s chosen wrong!“ Neville called.
"No, he did not,“ Dumbledore said, "you have powers the Dark Lord does not know.” When Neville looked puzzled, he added: “You have a kind heart, Neville. When you mentioned earlier the not-so-pretty pictures you’ve seen in Professor Snape’s mind, was it not, because you felt pity for him, even though he has bullied you for five years?” Well, yes, he really did. “You risked your life for Ginny, you took Cedric’s body back to Hogwarts so he could be buried properly. How far would you have gone to rescue your Granny?“
"I would have gone to the Ministry myself if Professor Snape had not helped us. But what has that to do with my ability to fight Voldemort?“
"Everything, Neville,“ Dumbledore said. "Love and kindness are powers HE does not understand. You’re his superior in that.“
***
Summer 1996
Albus stumbled into his office, staring at his blackened hand. He was shaking violently, felt cold and hot shivers running through his body. Noticing with growing alarm that he could hardly stand, he walked to the fireplace, throwing Floo Powder into the flames.
"Severus!“ he called, his voice sounding weak. "I need you at once.“ Then Albus fell onto his chair, waiting for Severus to come up to his office.
TBC