| New Age Jokes For Chriztal Rubbers |
| 1) So a girl is born in a new mexican village in the year 1913, we just became a state. this girl only wanted out of life one thing. she wanted to marry a boy named roy. she unfortunatly lived in the middle of nowhee and there was not a roy within her immediate area. so one day she lost all hope and went down to the river and drowned. later the river went dry and kids would go there to play. grandmas would tell the kids to not be in the river bed after dark. esspecially if you were named roy. ledgend had it that after dark you could see a white robed figure moving among the trees, wailing. it would be calling, "a roy... oh, a roy... oh, how i want to marry a roy... oh." and there you have it. |
| 2) what is a cow with no back legs?... an udder drag. |
| 3) so into a bar a man oes and is unabble to buy a beer due to his financial situation. he barters labor with the bartender for a brew. the bartender wants the bar cleaned, but has no cleaning supplies of any variety. so the man is reduced to licking the bar clean to get a beer. and he does. so after the work is complete the bartender inspects and discovers that the guy missed just about every stain in the place. so he tells the guy, "listen, you had better start over or you ain't getting any beer." so the guy replies, "gorget it, i ani't re-pub-licin'...?" |
| 4) a rabi is on vacation to santa fe, new mexico and is on a nature walk with his local friend. the feirnd is showing and rabi all the flora anf fauna of the high desert region of the state. they look at the chamisa, the prickly prea cactus, and the snakes. suddenly this irate toddler comes charging out of the brush and bites the rabi clean on him. so the rabi says, "that must be a juniper." a jew-nipper. |
| 5) here is a joke about a blond beauty i know. so tusina, who is from the old country, visits his friend mot. mot, besides being ugly as shit, is a real ass. tusina tries to get mot to go out for a walk, to see the sights. mot replies, "the only sight worth seeing is in the bathroom naked and she ain't goin' outsa there." mot drinks. just then arives a new characer and mutual friend of mot and tusina, landie. landie has a real passion for the collection and preservation of shark jaws. he really dosen't give a shit about anything else. so tusina and landie, for lack of anything else to do, and the fact that landie refuseds to do anything else, take to the streets in search of shark jaws. they find a real beaut and bring it back to show mot. just as they walk in they find mot in a real pinch it turns out that mot is a calico. he has a tri-colored hair issue, but all in diferent places. mot also happens to have a calico cat which hangs out in the window. the cat fell out of the window while landie and tusina were out and was reported to the cops as a public nusance. the impact from the fall made the cat scream like hell in hot cake factory. mot recovered the cat and was just stripping to get in the bath when the cops barged into the apartment and--seeing mot's blond hair on top, orange hair down front, and black hair in the back--had him arrested for indecent exposure and for leaping from an unathorized hight. mot went to jail and was known in cell block d as the blond beauty. |