Glaring Dream: Part 1
The room was dark, almost pitch black but he did not care. His eyes were closed as he
sat quietly within the room. The scrambling of feet could be heard coming from the hallway just
outside his door. Every once and a while a knock would come followed by someone calling his
name.
"Eiri?" the voice of a young woman beckoned. The young woman was known as Noriko
and had been one of his good friends for quite some time now. She was always one of the first to
worry about him if something happened to be or seemed to be wrong, like now for instance.
"Eiri are you in there? Eiri, come on out please. You can't stay in there forever. Eiri!" No
answer to her calls came. Sighing softly, she finally gave up and left.
The silence began to settle in again. Slowly, pale blue eyes, inherited from his
great-grandfather, opened and lifted themselves towards the ceiling as he leaned back in his
chair. The wooden piece of furniture creaked slightly as it shifted his weight onto its two
remaining legs. At the same time, slightly long, slim legs propped themselves up on the table in
front of him, crossing at the ankles.
His name was Eiri Asakura, and he was about to make the biggest decision of his young
life, one he hoped he would not regret. That is if he lived long enough to regret it. Originally
from a family settled in Kyoto, he was now sitting in a dark room somewhere in the middle of
Tokyo. The decision he was about to undertake was nineteen years in the making. Even after all
that time, Eiri was still trying to figure out if it was the right choice.
Time is running out for me, he thought as he sat in the dark. A clock ticked away the
seconds from somewhere behind him. Ignoring the sound, Eiri shifted in his chair again, placing
it back on all four legs. A faint fragrence suddenly caught his attention. Slowly he turned to the
low coffee table behind him, situated in the middle of the room. There, sitting in a bulb-like vase
made of white porcelain, were a few fresh branches of wisteria. Some pale violet petals had
fallen from the branches, pooling on the glass table top around the vase.
Was that there when I came in? He tried to remember seeing the vase when he first
entered the room but he just could not remember whether he had noticed it or not. Getting up, he
made his way over to the table, kneeling down next to it. Fingering one of the pale blossom
petals, marveling in its softness, memories from the past started to flood through his mind. Eiri
began to recount a moment from what seemed like ages ago, a time when he was a carefree little
boy of five.
"Eiri? Oi Eiri!" A young boy with pale blue eyes looked up at the familiar voice calling
him. His short raven hair was rustled gently by a breeze as he flashed a broad, bright smile at the
one who might as well be the mirror that showed the world what he would look like in a few
years.
"Subaru," he said with a little giggle. His elder brother sat down next to him, patting his
five-year-old sibling on the head affectionately. The little boy giggled even more at the gesture,
bringing out a smile from the elder sibling. Though there were nearly thirteen years in between
the two, Subaru and Eiri got along well, better than most siblings like themselves. Their mother
called the boys "her god sent wishes.
"What are you doing out here, Eiri?" Subaru asked, crossing his legs underneath him as
he sat next to his little brother. "It�s getting late. And cold. You don�t want to make mom
worry."
"But I like to sit under this tree," Eiri replied with all the innocence and sweetness a boy
of his age could muster.
"I see." He gazed up at the purple branches of the wisteria tree they were seated under,
watching as they were lifted up by the faint spring wind. The willowy branches swayed here and
there with the breeze, sometimes brushing against the brothers� arms or faces. The tree was part
of their family�s property and had been around much longer than either of the boys cared to
remember. It was one of their favorite places to come to when they wanted peace and a place to
think.
Eiri, what is it you want most in life?" Subaru suddenly asked. He did not know what
prompted the question, but he wanted to know his brother�s answer. He watched the features of
his little brother change as the five-year-old mind tried to come up with something to say.
Subaru almost laughed as Eiri squinted his eyes, trying to concentrate on the question as if it
were something he was trying to see in the far distance.
"I want you and mom to be happy," he finally said.
"Oh, why�s that?"
"Because I love mom and Subaru! I love them a lot!"
"Is that so? Then, Eiri, what do you want to be when you grow up?" As Eiri thought
about the next question, Subaru picked up his little brother and set him down in his lap. He
wrapped his arms about Eiri�s shoulders as the sun began to dip towards the horizon, keeping the
late spring chill away from claiming the little child.
"I want to be a singer!" Eiri finally announced.
"A singer?" Subaru seemed confused. He had not quite expected that answer but went
along with it. "Why a singer, Eiri?"
"Because I like to sing."
"And?"
"Because mom said she likes to hear me sing."
"Really now."
"Don�t you like to hear me sing?" He looked down at the large watery eyes staring back
up at him. Even when he was happy, Subaru noted, Eiri�s eyes seemed as if they were going to
overflow with tears. Maybe it was part of Subaru�s imagination, maybe it was because of the
color of Eiri�s eyes. Maybe it was a little of both. There was one thing that was certain and that
was Subaru did not like to see his little brother cry. Eiri was too young to remember their
father�s death and had been spared the tears. If Subaru had his way, he never wanted to see Eiri
cry, especially not for the older brother he idolized.
"Of course I like to hear you sing," he answered, watching as Eiri�s little eyes lit up with
pleasure. "You can sing for me anytime. But how are you going to become a singer and make
mom and me happy when you grow up?"
"I�m going to sing songs that make mom and Subaru smile! I want to see mom and
Subaru smile all the time!" He giggled almost uncontrollably, wrapping chubby little arms
around his brother�s larger, longer limbs. He did not notice the smile spreading across Subaru�s
features nor did he feel the slight affectionate squeeze his brother gave him.
"Make sure you do that, Eiri," Subaru whispered. "Make sure you always do what you
want."
"Okay!!"
Remembering that time brought a smile to his face.
I was so young then, so innocent, Eiri thought, his eyes transfixed on the flowers in front
of him. I wonder if Subaru ever knew how much he influenced me. I can't ever pass a wisteria
without thinking of him. If only here were here now..... A knock suddenly came to his door,
startling him out of his train of thought.
"Eiri? Eiri are you still in there?" This time the voice that spoke was that of Aki,
another friend of Eiri's. He knocked once, twice, three times more before giving up and leaving.
Sighing softly, Eiri listened to his footsteps as he left and headed down the hallway just as
Noriko had done. How long had he been locked in the dark room alone? Five minutes? Ten?
An hour? Probably longer than everyone would have liked.
They're probably worried about me. I don�t want to make them worry by not answering
their calls. But I don�t want to be bothered right now either. I just want to be alone, for a little
while. Getting off the floor, Eiri dusted off the knees of his dark jeans before going back to his
chair and settling himself on its wooden surface again. Something else caught his attention this
time. Turning, his eyes caught sight of a silver photo frame perched on the corner of the table.
Lifting it, slim fingers ran across the smooth silver edge then across the glass surface.
I remember this photo. This was before Subaru left for Hiroshima. Once again his mind
began to drift back through the past, searching through memories as easily as if Eiri were
searching through an index file of phone numbers. Eiri began to lose himself as he remembered
the conversation he had had with his brother before Subaru left Kyoto.
"Do you really have to go to Hiroshima, Subaru?"
"You don�t like it?" Turning to his little brother, Subaru noticed Eiri�s eyes turned to the
floor. As the younger of the Asakura brothers sat on Subaru�s neatly made bed, his hands clasped
together in his lap, one socked foot slowly drew circles on the white carpet at his feet. He leaned
back against the frame of his window, watching Eiri as the younger brother tried to come up with
an answer.
"I just don�t see why you have to go to Hiroshima to work," Eiri finally said. Subaru
sighed softly, feeling the tension from the day ease out of his shoulders little by little despite the
situation.
"We�ve gone through this before, haven�t we?"
"Yeah....but I still don�t see why you have to go. Osaka is closer, so is Nara. Couldn�t
you have gotten a job around here somewhere? Couldn�t you have stayed at the job you have
now? I just don�t see why you have to accept this promotion and go all the way to Hiroshima."
Subaru sighed again. He knew Eiri would take the news of Subaru�s new job the hardest.
The two of them had always been close, always done things together. Subaru had always
watched out for his little brother even though they were years apart in age. He had to try and
reason with Eiri before their relationship was torn apart.
"Hiroshima isn�t that far, Eiri," he said. "It�s just down south a little. It�s not like I�m
going all the way to Sapporo."
"Still......"
"Still nothing. Look at me, Eiri." Subaru waited until Eiri�s eyes focused on him. He
smiled softly seeing the innocence in the pale blue orbs he remembered seeing often when Eiri
was younger. Subaru marveled, yet again, at how much Eiri resembled him when he was Eiri�s
age. Eiri was growing up, getting older. He was the exact same age Subaru was when Eiri was
born. Though they looked the same, their personalities were completely different.
"Eiri," Subaru continued. "I can�t always be with you. I know you want me near. Even
now when most kids your age want nothing to do with their families, you still want me around. I
like that. And I feel the same way about you. I always want my little brother to be around, want
someone to hang around with. But, Eiri, we�re getting older, both of us. As much as we would
like to, we can�t always be together."
"Why?"
"Because..." He scrambled to get the right words out. Giving up trying to sound
sensible, Subaru spoke the first words that came to him. "Because this is life, Eiri. Things
happen in our lives that we don�t always like. We�re going to hurt the people we love sometime
during our lives."
"It's not fair."
"No, life isn't fair, Eiri. Life will never be completely fair. But we have to live it day by
day. What makes life worth living is seeing the people you love happy. For instance, no matter
what happens, as long as you and mom are happy then so am I. It doesn't matter where I am or
what I do, as long as the both of you are happy that's all I need." He paused a moment, watching
as Eiri's eyes turned from the floor to the window. "Eiri, what makes you happy in this world?"
"Seeing you and mom happy, of course," he quickly replied, turning his eyes from the
window to his brother's face. "Mom's been through a lot since dad died. She's raised us both by
herself. She deserves to be happy. And you. I've always seen you smiling. I can't imagine what
you're like when you're sad." He was startled but the sudden look of sadness flashing across
Subaru's dark eyes. Eiri wondered if the sadness was due to remembering their father�s death or
to having to leave Eiri and their mother behind. As quickly as the look had come it disappeared,
leaving Eiri slightly confused.
"Do you still want to be a singer?"
"What?"
"I said do you still want to be a singer, Eiri? You told me when you were little that you
wanted to be a singer. Is that still true?"
"Yeah," Eiri replied in a small voice. He felt a warm hand rest on his head. Gazing up,
he found Subaru smiling down at him. The elder Asakura knelt in front of him, holding Eiri's
eyes with his own while his hands held Eiri's face.
"No matter where I am," Subaru began. "No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I'll
always listen to your songs. When you sing them, think of me. I'll think of you when I'm
listening. That way, no matter how far apart we are, we'll always be together." Slowly a smile
came to Eiri's face at his brother's words. They sat in silence a moment longer before their
mother's voice sounded from downstairs, calling them to dinner.