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| July 2nd, 2004 So I've had the beginnings of this website up for a couple of days now. It still has a long way to go, and it seems like it is only getting lamer. I did figure out how to add music to my pages, but I can't get my video to work. I've been to several websites that are supposed to help, followed the instructions, and got nothing. Zilch. Nada. You have no idea how frustrating it is to me. About the video that won't work: It's a commercial I made a while back. The quality is low, since I just ripped it from my camera to my comp, and you have to turn the volume up quite a bit to hear it. It features my cousin, Dustin (this is his second apperance in one of my commercials and for the same product, too) and my friend Tera. It's chock-full of innuendos, in fact the whole commercial is one big innuendo. Anyway, hopefully I'll have it up soon. |
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| July 6th, 2004 I can think of little that would be worse than being a father sea-horse. The MEN have to carry the eggs, while the woman goes gallavanting around doing whatever she pleases. The man has to be responsible for the well-being of the children and still find time to order the woman around. Oh the plus side, though, the man could finally be the one who is "too tired." You people need to check out Arrid Total. When they say Maximum Wetness Protection they mean it. Want proof? On Sunday, the fourth, my cousin starts handing out Arrid Total to all the guys. I know Arrid is usually for girls, but this stuff smells more like a guy than any girl I'd like to meet (sorry, Tera.) So I've got this deodorant in my shirt pocket when another cousin breaks out the water balloons; it isn't a family gathering until someone gets soaked, hurt, killed, or some combination of the three. I try and stay out of the fight for a while, but people are determined to draw me in. One cousin tries to accomplish this with a sneak attack while I'm sitting and talking to my mom. It should have been beautiful, and I should have been soaked But little did he know that I still had the Arrid in my pocket. The water balloon hit me full force... and didn't break. It bounced back into my lap. He threw a second balloon at me, and I swear the thing swerved around me Matrix style. So when Arrid promises to keep you dry, believe it. On a seperate note, they should have known better to draw me into the fight. I always rely more on sneak attacks and clever diversions. For example: I made it known to my cousin that I had a balloon by tossing it back and forth in my hands. He didn't know I was letting him know this on purpose. Then I pretended to watch the goings-on of my grandpa, while I handed my girlfriend the balloon. I told her what I had in mind and we got to work. With my hands behind my back, now empty, I slowly walked towards my cousin. He watched me coming and when I got within throwing range he ran to my girlfriend to hide behind her. He was so focused on me that he didn't notice why she took his hat. I kept pretending like I was deciding whether it would be worth it to get in trouble to get him wet. She put the ballon in his hat and returned it to him, soaking him more than any thrown balloon would have done. |
| July 9th, 2004 Why is it sometimes SO hard to do the right thing? Put others before yourself. Don't get wrapped up in the world's distractions. Be nice to those who do you wrong. It's hard living the life my God wants me to live. Who says you HAVE to have a job? This one really gets me. I get along just fine w/ the little money I make, and everyone says I NEED a job. People look down on me because I only work a few hours a week. Now it looks like I might actually get a job, and I couldn't be any less happy about it. It means less time doing what I want. Isn't a job supposed to enable you to do what you want? Get money so you can do what you want. Well, I was doing what I wanted before I got a job, and now I won't be able to. *Sigh* I hope you're all happy. I try to look out for the best interest of those who are closest to me. Sometimes what is in their best interest is what is going to make me most sad. But it is even worse if they do things that aren't best for them, just to keep me happy. Friends, relatives, and romances... Relationships are a lot of work, but worth every moment of it. I wouldn't trade in any of it, the good or the bad. Another thought, why do people work so hard to keep me happy? That's a question for another day. Right now I'm going to go sleep with a pink and purple cow who rattles to tell me she loves me. Rattle, rattle. |
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| March 3rd, 2005 So it's been a long time since I've done this last. Oh well, no one has noticed. Mainly I'm writing this and begining to update again because Jared asked me if I had a site that I updated. A lot has happened since last I wrote, but the only noteworthy thing is my engagement to Mary Kabanuck on December 4th. I had a really weird dream the other night. I was framed for murder. I hadn't been arrested yet, but I knew I'd been framed cause it was Tera who framed me and she told me she'd done it. The weird thing is I didn't protest any. I just made snide comments like "Oh, a trip to France? I'd wish I could go on that. But I can't cause I'm being framed for murder." I took it all rather well, actually. |
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| March 4th, 2005 I watched the first Star Wars today. The first made, not the new one. I'm amazed at how far we've come with the special effects. Particularly the effect of voice dubbing. Rarely today do you see actors words and lips so far out of sync. I figured they would have fixed that on the DVDs but I guess they wanted to keep the original "feel". On a separate note, I noticed that two of the fighter pilots are named Biggs and Wedge, which some of you might also recognize from the Final Fantasy series. If anyone wants to donate a scanner to me you can reach me at [email protected]. Thanks. The look of this page is horrible, we'll see if I change it though. |
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| March 9th, 2005 Happy Birthday, my love. For your birthday I've decided I'll do a couple of things that should make you happy. Or rather, I won't do things. For example I won't kick puppies, fill your car with honey, punch your cat, eat your piece of birthday cake, use your present before I give it to you, make you pay for dinner, make you streak on the plaza, or make you dress like a french poodle. See, when you think of all the things I'm NOT doing, you won't even notice that I'm not actually doing things for you either. But I did get you a present. I want you to pay me back, though. |
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| March 25th, 2005 I finally have all of my groomsmen picked out. Now everyone can leave me alone about it. It's not like they have anything to do anyway. Their sole responsibility is to escort the bridesmaids. And to throw one awesome bachelor party. I'll sum up my expectations for my party in one word: skydiving. That's what I want. I don't need the strippers, Dustin. I just need the earth rushing up at me with nothing standing between me and certain death except a three hour course and cloth-filled backpack. I don't suppose they have strippers that strip while skydiving, do they Dustin? |
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| April 12, 2005 I've gotten a home loan, now. So basically I have to sign away every paycheck for the next thirty years. But at least I'll be "making" money. Now I'm looking for a home, and in a few days I'll probably be going through other people's houses. I think I'll try looking through their drawers and be like: "H'mm. I'll probably need to redecorate, I usually have MY socks to left of my underwear." Gah. I'll be 53 when my house is payed off. That's too old to really even enjoy life, isn't it? At that point I'm closer to 100 than to when I was born. I'm sure I'll be balding and trying to hide it w/ a combover. And I'll already have had my midlife crisis. I wonder if I'll have a cool car. Or a pet shark. I think I might do a timeline of my life from now until I'm 53. |
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| June 1, 2005 I bought my home yesterday. While moving the first of many carloads in, our neighbors stopped by to chat. They informed Mary and I of a number of things: the 80ish couple living behind us will watch us with binoculars, we live on "Homosexual Ally", we'll be fined if our tires even touch the grass, and it takes roughly 68 hand-mixed bags of concrete to pave a drive-way. Anyway, our house has sat vacant for 8 months, and it smells it. We don't have air-conditioning, yet. And it seems the previous owner thought it would look great to randomly throw piles of lava-rock around the yard and pretend to have a garden. But it's ours and every payment we make is like putting money in our own pockets. Unlike all you suckers out there throwing your money away in the trash can called "Rent". |
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