Leave it to the Professionals
I USED TO HAVE A JOB setting up appointments for homeowners to receive roofing estimates. Once after reaching a number, I was told that the person I wanted was not at home. The man on the phone explained that he was house-sitting while the owner was in the hospital. I told him why I was calling and added that I'd phone again at a later date. Then I asked the man if he thought his friend might be interested in having his roof reshingled.
"Oh, yes," he replied. "There's a good possibility. That's what he was doing when he fell off his roof." :0)

Strange Turnpike Turnings
Modern-day miracles, it seems, do occur -- and in the strangest places. A Christian evangelist driving down a Virginia turnpike is pulled over for speeding. The trooper smells alcohol in the vehicle and sees an empty wine bottle on the floor. The officer asks the cleric: "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Only water, officer," the minister says. "Then why do I distinctly smell wine in your car? The minister looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"