| <NB: This letter was written as the game progressed, therefore is not particularly lucid at times. Ok, most of the time. > Dear Stephen Fleming, 11.47pm. It is coming up to midnight, Styris has just caught out De Silva, and my sister and I thought we would let you in on what its like to watch live cricket at ungodly hours. Unfortunately Sister is asleep right now, so I guess I�m on my own. My name is Puppet and I�m sixteen. (Sister doesn�t want her name mentioned because now she is no longer a teenager she doesn�t think it is appropriate for her to write fangirl letters.) Watching cricket at a time like this is a lonely experience. It becomes a depressing experience when you know you have to get up in six and a half hours, stand for half an hour on a bus while attempting to dodge food thrown at you by hellishly annoying third formers, then do linear quadratics. (I swear the entire point of algebra is learning to add apples and oranges.) 12:06 am Sister has just said �Go New Zealand� in her sleep, at about the same time Nathan Astle got out fellow-with-name-I-cant-pronounce-let-alone-spell. I am very tired, but here are some things bout the Sri Lankan innings you may or may not have noticed. - For the last half hour Jayah Shiriath looked like he was about to throw up. You should have told Shane Bond to hit him in the stomach. - Lou Vincent is keeping as if his gloves are a size or two too big. If this is so, he needs new gloves. Aside from that he looks distinctly uncoordinated. You can hear him though, even all the way to here in NZ. Very encouraging. Reminds me of Adam Parore. Except Lou swears less. - Currently, Stephen, you are not looking very happy. In fact, for most of the innings, you have been looking distinctly unhappy. I suppose that�s a given. Take out your anger on� Oh�I don�t know� that fat bloke over there, who should really put a shirt on. - Your sunglasses are hideous. If no-one has told you this its time they did. They really wouldn�t look bad if you were wearing neon lycra. But if you were wearing neon lycra, you would look hideous generally. - Having three batsmen is confusing. Two ends of the wicket, yet they need three of them? - Two hundred and seventy two? Don�t do what Jonty Rhodes did and you�ll be fine� |