| How to Maintain a Healthy level of insanity |
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| At lunchtime, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "In" dont use any punctuation, HAVE FUN WITH ALL CAPS, hAVE FUN wITH jUST pLAIN cAPS. pRESS THE CAPS LOCK AND THE iNSERT BUTTON ON ALL yOUR cO-wORKERS COMPUTERS wHEN THEY'RE NOT looKING. Mispel evritheeng ohn perpus In the memo field of all your checks, write "I just felt like it" As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". Sing along at the opera. Have your co-workers adress you by your wrestling name, Machomacho Man Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. Argue that they're not real poems. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." |
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