2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
12. She's always late, in fact, her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted
and used against you.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and
blame it on the higher cost of living.
20. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
24. Latest survey sh! ows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world
population.
25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.
27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Very true...never fails
29. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
35. When you go into cou! rt, you are putting yourself in the hands
of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you would least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
7. He who laughs last, probably has a backup.
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler program that worked just fine.
10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, btu rarely what you want it to do.