I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
BEAUTY is in the eye of the beer holder.
If you don't have a leg to stand on, you can't put your foot down!
I(internal) R(evenue) S(ervice):
We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Hang up and drive.
If you don't believe in eternity,just ask a Democrat how long it is
until 2004.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Keep honking while I reload.
Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change.
If you can read this I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
My spouse keeps complaining I never listen to him/her
...or something like that.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive.
Stop repeat offenders.
Don't re-elect them!
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
The earth is full-go home.
Honk if parts fall off
I have the body of a god-Buddha
So many pedestrians, so little time.
Cover me I'm changing lanes.
I do whatever my Rice Crispies tell me to.
YOU! Out of the gene pool!
It's been lovely but i have to scream now.
I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on a disk somewhere.
Cat: the other white meat.
Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window.
How many roads must a man travel down before he realizes he is lost?
Saw it...Wanted it...Had a fit...Got it!
Warning! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy Pit bull.
MONTANA: at least the cows are sane.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink/
Always remember: You're unique, just like everybody else.
I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
I am nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.